I only wish that my state would invest more time and money in youth housing...
Alameda Family Services
Bill Wilson Center
California Coalition for Youth
California Youth Connection
Casa Youth Shelter
Center for Human Services
Center for Positive Prevention Alternatives
Community Human Services
Community Service Programs
Covenant House California
Diogenes Youth Services
EOC-Sanctuary Youth Shelter
HERE - Homeless Emergency Runaway Project
Huckleberry Youth Programs
Interface Children Family Services
Larkin Street Youth Center
Los Angeles Youth Network
Mendocino County Youth Project
New Morning Youth and Family Services
Operation Safehouse
Redwood Region Youth Services Bureau
Salvation Army - The Way In
San Diego Youth and Community Services
Santa Cruz Community Counseling Center
Social Advocates for Youth
South Bay Community Services
Tahoe Youth and Family Services
Waking the Village
Wind Youth Center
YMCA Youth and Family Services in San Diego
YMCA Youth and Family Services in Santa Barbara
Youth and Family Enrichment Services
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Friday, May 02, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
We don't want "your kind" around here
Photograph by Mike Tobias, Port Arthur NewsA group of Texas residents appear to be enforcing their own form of segregation, by protesting an all-male group home for elementary-age foster children.
The only "crime" that these children have committed is being abandoned and/or abused by their parents.
They are no more or less likely to cause problems than any other child.
My only concerns are about the all-male staff, and the fact that there will only be two staff members. The staff-child ratio needs to be revisited. Will the children be educated on-site, or (hopefully) attend the local elementary school?
I believe that former foster children should have a voice in the design of group home facilities.
I personally would advocate for both male and female staff members, both male and female residents (with separate sleeping quarters) and definitely more staff members than just two people.
I would also propose creative measure such as:
1. Church members being paired as "mentors" for each child in the group home, after being carefully screened to make sure these adults are safe. A child could spend time in their homes on Sunday afternoons.
2. Proactive community education: In all fairness, after reading through the comments, it does seem that there was a communications breakdown between the church and the community.
When establishing a group home, it is in the best interest of everyone involved - especially the children who undoubtedly feel rejected and stigmatized by these picket signs - to have open and honest communication.
If I were creating a group home, I would present the model at local schools and community meetings. I would strive to answer questions ahead of time, and to keep my answers consistent, regarding:
- How many children would be housed in the facility
- The ages and lack of criminal background
- The qualifications of staff
- The availability of counseling and support
Reading further into the comment section, it appears that community meetings were held and that they did address all of the above questions.
Which makes me wonder why that information was not included in the article, which only quoted sound-bytes from a man who was supposedly an "expert" on group homes... but as it turns out, his only expertise is in juvenile correctional facilities.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Four recurring nightmares that I have...
1.) Back to school: Sometimes, like tonight, I dream that I didn't really get my degree after all... I am informed that I am just one credit short, and because of my oversight, I now have to go back to school and start all over again from the very beginning.
And Lisa, the once-perpetual college student, just doesn't have the energy to go back to school and re-earn my college and graduate degrees right now!
2.) Shopping: I dream that I am at the store, and see all these pretty things that I want to buy. I take them into my arms and my hoarder's soul fills with glee.It is as if by the very act of holding these beautiful things, I become more lovely myself.
Then I hear my husband's voice in my head asking, "Do you really need all these things, Lisa? Will you even use them?"
One by one, I put them all back on the shelf, and go to the checkout with only one thing in my hand.
3.) 'Save the children' dreams: For as long as I can remember, I have had these intense dreams of children who are running from some unseen enemy and looking to me for help.
The premise of these dreams is that only I can save them.
4.) Sent back to foster care: I frequently dream that my husband and stepdaughters are disappointed with me, so they send me to a group home.A friend of mine recently asked me about the phenomenon of how our time in foster care can haunt us as adults.
It makes perfect sense that we might try to hold onto people or fear that if we make the slightest mistake, we can lose everyone and everything that we love.
Because that is what foster care is like... If you make the slightest mistake in a foster home/group home, you will indeed be sent elsewhere.
I responded to his question by sharing a quote that has meant a lot to me regarding this issue:
"When I was young, I thought that I had to be perfect for people to love me. I thought that if I ever did something wrong, their love would be withdrawn…
"We need to give ourselves permission to be human, to try and to stumble, to be momentarily weak and to feel shame but to overcome that shame with moments of strength, courage and generosity."
-H. S. Krushner, You Don't Have to Be Perfect To Be Loved
My experience has been that the more loving, caring people that you surround yourself with, the more that wounded, insecure part of you will heal.
Connections of encouragement and acceptance are part of what Foster Care Alumni of America is providing for people in and from foster care all over the nation.
Youth in foster care deserve a voice in court
Dave Jones, a California Democrat, recently introduced legislation to bring foster children into the court hearings that decide their fates after allegations of abuse and neglect.
This bill was designed to address Broken Families, Broken Courts reports that, throughout California, hearings in the courts that oversee the foster care system are often held without the child present.
As its author states: "This bill sends a strong message that kids need to be a more integral part of the system."
Current law gives children the legal right to attend but does not require officials to make a strong effort to get the children there.
This is a terrible oversight because youth people have a very strong viewpoint about what is and is not working in the child welfare system, and can thoughtfully articulate their own interests.
Jones' bill, AB 3051, requires all California judicial officers to postpone hearings if children 10 years old and older have not been properly notified and offered the chance to attend.
Some lawyers are hoping that the language of this bill will be revised so that any children ages 4 years old and older will be able to attend.
One key proponent of this revision is Leslie Heimov, executive director of the non-profit Children's Law Center of Los Angeles.
Her reasoning is that, "For older kids, there's a benefit to the child, but for younger kids there's a benefit to the court. They bring the case alive. They're ruling on a person, not a piece of paper."
Jones said alterations of his bill are expected, and that he intends the age reference to be "a floor, not a ceiling."
Culture Change
In order for this bill to have an impact, a significant culture change will be required in many California courts. Some judges and lawyers believe children can be disruptive, or shouldn't miss school to attend court. Others fear they will be bored or traumatized by things they hear.
I agree with Presiding Judge Michael Nash of the Los Angeles Juvenile Court: "Children are the most important persons in our process. And they should be seen and heard."
Source:
de Sá, Karen. Bill would strengthen kids' voices in foster care court: Bill would require they're told about right to attend hearings. Mercury News, March 7, 2008.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month
Please visit this site to learn more about the history of Child Abuse Prevention Month, state chapters and free resource packets.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term describing the uncomfortable tension that may result from:
- Having two conflicting thoughts at the same time
- Engaging in behavior that conflicts with one’s beliefs and self-concept
- Experiencing something that conflicts with everything the person previously “knew” about the world
Cognitive dissonance can be defined as “an internal contradiction.”
We all want to believe that we are good people. So if we do something harmful to another person, we feel that prick of our conscience. Since we cannot live in a state of “cognitive dissonance” for an extended period of time, we have to somehow make it right in our heads.
Our choice is:
- To tell ourselves that what we did wasn’t wrong (denial)
- To tell ourselves that they deserved it (excuses)
- To confess and admit responsibility (best option)
Cognitive dissonance can occur in the minds of neglectful and abusive parents. I can’t tell you how many foster care alumni have come to me and told me about this type of experience.
After being reunited with a parent, a young person might try to tell mom or dad what happened during their time in foster care. Or a young person might say, “Remember that guy you were dating before I left home? Did I ever tell you that he touched me when you weren’t around?”
More often than not, the biological parent will respond, “I don’t want to hear about it.”
Why? Because hearing what happened to their child when that parent was unable or unwilling to care for them sounds like an indictment. They don’t want to look at it. They don’t want to face up to their responsibility in abdicating care for their child.
My father is the perfect example. I rarely saw him during my time in foster care - but when I did, I was always mystified by the fact that he could never look me in the eyes. He always looked away. Later, when I came to him as an adult, to try to tell him some of the things that happened during and after my time in care, including the fact that I experienced rape and homelessness, he didn’t want to hear about it.
He even went so far as to say, “Lisa, we have no way of knowing whether or not those things ever happened to you.”
I had to raise my eyebrows at that comment.
Being the person who experienced those things and survived them, I found it mind-boggling that another person might think that by his denial, he could edit my entire life history, and make those painful experiences no longer exist.
I made up my mind at that moment that I wanted to be a person who could face reality, in all its beauty and all its ugliness, and take full responsibility for my actions.
As a stepmother, if I feel that my reaction to something was wrong, I will go to my husband and stepdaughters and apologize. I will not make excuses for myself — I will just call it what it is: “I have a big mouth sometimes,” and strive to do better.
Sadly, cognitive dissonance can occur in the minds of abuse victims as well. When a parent is the perpetrator, rather than the protector, that clashes with everything that a child instinctively knows.
So, might a child be tempted to do?
- Tell themselves that what the parent is doing isn’t wrong (denial)
- Tell themselves that they deserved it (make excuses for the parent)
- Tell themselves that a parent should be protector, and that the fact that theirs is not, is due that parent’s choice and not a reflection of the child’s worth (best option, but it often takes years for an abused child to recognize this)
The first two reactions can lead to both current and future emotional damage: A child experiencing sexual abuse might try to make sense of the experience by equating the act with love. Later, that same child might grow into an adult who expects abuse from his or her partner.
Now that I advocate for young people in and from foster care, it is so easy for me to see that their parents’ actions are not a reflection of their worth. But, back when I was still in college, it was hardest of all to see that value in myself.
I still remember the moment when I realized that my father’s rejection did not make me unworthy of love. I was reading the quote, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child and I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I left childish ways behind me.”
It occured to me in that moment that if I were ever to grow up, I needed to assert my own worth and not judge myself as unloveable based upon my father’s reaction.
Good Will Hunting
Similarly, one scene from the movie “Good Will Hunting“ has resonated with many foster care/child abuse survivors. Robin Williams (playing Sean, a psychiatrist) is counseling Matt Damon (playing Will Hunting) an abused child.
After holding up pictures of Will Hunting, covered in bruises, the script continues:
Sean: Will, you see this, all this ****?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean: It’s not your fault.
Will: [Softly, still staring off] I know…
Sean: No you don’t. It’s not your fault.
Will: [Serious] I know.
Sean: No. Listen to me son. It’s not your fault.
Will: I know that.
Sean: It’s not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean: It’s not your fault.
Will: [eyes misty with tears] Don’t **** with me Sean. Not you.
Sean: It’s not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will’s shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will: Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean’s arms]
- Having two conflicting thoughts at the same time
- Engaging in behavior that conflicts with one’s beliefs and self-concept
- Experiencing something that conflicts with everything the person previously “knew” about the world
Cognitive dissonance can be defined as “an internal contradiction.”
We all want to believe that we are good people. So if we do something harmful to another person, we feel that prick of our conscience. Since we cannot live in a state of “cognitive dissonance” for an extended period of time, we have to somehow make it right in our heads.
Our choice is:
- To tell ourselves that what we did wasn’t wrong (denial)
- To tell ourselves that they deserved it (excuses)
- To confess and admit responsibility (best option)
Cognitive dissonance can occur in the minds of neglectful and abusive parents. I can’t tell you how many foster care alumni have come to me and told me about this type of experience.
After being reunited with a parent, a young person might try to tell mom or dad what happened during their time in foster care. Or a young person might say, “Remember that guy you were dating before I left home? Did I ever tell you that he touched me when you weren’t around?”
More often than not, the biological parent will respond, “I don’t want to hear about it.”
Why? Because hearing what happened to their child when that parent was unable or unwilling to care for them sounds like an indictment. They don’t want to look at it. They don’t want to face up to their responsibility in abdicating care for their child.
My father is the perfect example. I rarely saw him during my time in foster care - but when I did, I was always mystified by the fact that he could never look me in the eyes. He always looked away. Later, when I came to him as an adult, to try to tell him some of the things that happened during and after my time in care, including the fact that I experienced rape and homelessness, he didn’t want to hear about it.
He even went so far as to say, “Lisa, we have no way of knowing whether or not those things ever happened to you.”
I had to raise my eyebrows at that comment.
Being the person who experienced those things and survived them, I found it mind-boggling that another person might think that by his denial, he could edit my entire life history, and make those painful experiences no longer exist.
I made up my mind at that moment that I wanted to be a person who could face reality, in all its beauty and all its ugliness, and take full responsibility for my actions.
As a stepmother, if I feel that my reaction to something was wrong, I will go to my husband and stepdaughters and apologize. I will not make excuses for myself — I will just call it what it is: “I have a big mouth sometimes,” and strive to do better.
Sadly, cognitive dissonance can occur in the minds of abuse victims as well. When a parent is the perpetrator, rather than the protector, that clashes with everything that a child instinctively knows.
So, might a child be tempted to do?
- Tell themselves that what the parent is doing isn’t wrong (denial)
- Tell themselves that they deserved it (make excuses for the parent)
- Tell themselves that a parent should be protector, and that the fact that theirs is not, is due that parent’s choice and not a reflection of the child’s worth (best option, but it often takes years for an abused child to recognize this)
The first two reactions can lead to both current and future emotional damage: A child experiencing sexual abuse might try to make sense of the experience by equating the act with love. Later, that same child might grow into an adult who expects abuse from his or her partner.
Now that I advocate for young people in and from foster care, it is so easy for me to see that their parents’ actions are not a reflection of their worth. But, back when I was still in college, it was hardest of all to see that value in myself.
I still remember the moment when I realized that my father’s rejection did not make me unworthy of love. I was reading the quote, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child and I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I left childish ways behind me.”
It occured to me in that moment that if I were ever to grow up, I needed to assert my own worth and not judge myself as unloveable based upon my father’s reaction.
Good Will Hunting
Similarly, one scene from the movie “Good Will Hunting“ has resonated with many foster care/child abuse survivors. Robin Williams (playing Sean, a psychiatrist) is counseling Matt Damon (playing Will Hunting) an abused child.
After holding up pictures of Will Hunting, covered in bruises, the script continues:
Sean: Will, you see this, all this ****?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean: It’s not your fault.
Will: [Softly, still staring off] I know…
Sean: No you don’t. It’s not your fault.
Will: [Serious] I know.
Sean: No. Listen to me son. It’s not your fault.
Will: I know that.
Sean: It’s not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean: It’s not your fault.
Will: [eyes misty with tears] Don’t **** with me Sean. Not you.
Sean: It’s not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will’s shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will: Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean’s arms]
Sunday, March 23, 2008
CWLA Peer Mentoring
Fostering Healthy Connections Through Peer Mentoring is a program initiated by the Child Welfare League of America and piloted in Louisville, Kentucky. This program trains former foster youth to mentor current foster youth. This common experiences opens the door to a level of trust and openness that often takes years to attain by mentors who have not had first-hand experience with foster care. This program has been endorsed by FosterClub.
In My Shoes
In My Shoes is a non-profit, peer-mentoring organization in Tuscon, Arizona that matches adults who have previously been in foster care with teenagers who are currently in the foster care system.
Partnerships
This program was established in July 2003. It represents collaboration between Tuscon foster care alumni, juvenile court, caseworkers, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Aviva Children Services and Casey.
Focus
The primary focus is on one-on-one matches between foster care youth and alumni:
- Mentees are young people currently in the foster care system, either in a group home or foster home. They must be between the ages of 16 - 17 years old.
- Mentors must be former foster children with a positive outlook on their experience. They must be at least 18 years old and have successfully demonstrated life skills for at least six months.
The match is a two-year commitment, facilitated by bi-monthly trainings and quarterly outings. The bi-monthly trainings are coordinated by Aviva Children Services.
In My Shoes staff members spend 20-40 hours each month working with mentors and mentees.They provide technical support on their website, in a format similar to FaceBook. For the quarterly trainings, they facilitate:
- Recreational activities such as baseball games and miniature golf
- Holiday activities such as Thanksgiving Dinner and Christmas Angel with white elephant gifts
Since the number of youth outnumber alumni mentors, In My Shoes supports 'waiting mentees' and youth development through youth advisory boards, clubs, socials, informal get-togethers and trainings.
Funding
In My Shoes receives grants through the Department of Behavioral Health. They contract through the Division of Economic Services. Mentoring is a billable expense through Behavioral Health, and they generally have more funding than the state.
In My Shoes maintains community partnerships in order to receive affordable bids for advertising.
Matching Process
- Youth are referred by their caseworker, which means that, at first, most of what is known about the young person is just paperwork. Youth are empowered to look over what their caseworker has written and add to it.
- Mentors come to the office in order to fill out their paperwork. This method has proven to work better in terms of ensuring follow-up on the mentor's part. The next steps are a phone interview and a screening interview.
During the first match meeting, the mentor and mentee look over their mentoring contract and decide if any changes need to be made. They have one goal per month, and the first goal is to get to know each other.
Mentors are encouraged to attend their mentee's S.A.R. (Staff Annual Review) in order to discover additional ways to support their growth and progress.
Later on in the relationship, they will have opportunities to revise the mentoring contract in response to youth needs. For example, if a young person gets involved in school activities.
Outcomes
In My Shoes administers 'satisfaction surveys' to everyone involved in the program.
Because this program was established by Christa Drake, an alumna of foster care, it is focused on basing the measurement of success on what youth want, and not other people's definitions.
Christa's concerns about measuring other outcomes are that:
- Not every foster care alumni has mastered school, home life, etc.
- Alumni of foster care offer a unique perspective and should be valued for that
- Other organizations are paid to provide Independent Living Classes
- She doesn't want to alienate her partners by competing with them
As a former foster child myself, I respect and understand Christa's concerns. However, I believe that this model could and should be replicated across the nation. And without concrete outcome measurements, that is less likely to happen.
How ASTI evolved into the Transitioning Teens program
The Transitioning Teens Program is a collaborative effort among the Child Advocates of Silicon Valley, the Governor's Office of Emergency Services, California CASA and local independent living programs to promote the development of hands-on life skills development through positive mentor-like relationships.
It was established in 2003, as a way of building upon the pre-existing Advocates for Successful Transition for Independence program, which had been conducted in two phases over the past two years. The ASTI program focused on pairing emancipating youth between the ages of 16 - 18 with an advocate to help prepare them for adulthood.
Participants
The dependency court refers youth to the program. The young people can be anywhere from birth to 18 years old. Unfortunately, since the number of youth in dependency court outnumber the number of volunteers, there are never enough mentors to match every child.
The mentors in this program are advocates. Their screening process is in accordance with CASA requirements. They have their first interview, and then attend a 30-hour training where they learn more about child development and the characteristics of youth at each age level.
During their second interview, the supervisor pulls 3-5 files, based upon the age range that the advocate is most comfortable with, and the advocate picks the child.
Purpose
In the Transitioning Teens Program, the advocate works one-on-one with a teenager to help them develop critical life skills. The volunteer makes sure that the teenager's health, education, employment and housing issues are fully addressed, and writes notes to the court focusing on a youth's unique needs.
Group activities include sexual education, violence prevention, gang awareness, cooking courses and recreational activities like bowling. Particular attention is paid to the development of life skills, employment and housing.
Karen Scussel and her colleagues are in the process of developing a curriculum for teens, and will be happy to share it with others once it has been developed.
Financial Sustainability
An initial grant was used to 'kick start' the program, and to establish a network of connections. It is maintained through generous donations from foundations, corporations and individual donors.
Outcomes
1.) After twelve months of participation in ASTI, foster care youth exhibited improved social skills, a higher level of trust in adults, and self-esteem enhancement.
2.) Teens who participate in the Transitioning Teen Program are asked about their experience during their exit interview by their social workers. Advocates try to maintain lifelong supportive relationships with youth if possible,
3.) According to a November 2003 survey of 311 Advocates, 95% reported that they found their experience to be satisfying, and 94% felt that they had made a positive difference in a child's life.
4.) Youth testimonials: “My Advocate helped me get into a transitional house for female youth who have been emancipated... She’s also helping me get a driver’s license and a bank account. She is like family, like an auntie... I really recommend that you find an Advocate if you’re a youth about to come out of foster care.”
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Orphan Foundation of America v-mentoring program
The Orphan Foundation of America's vMentor Program uses technology to match volunteer mentors with current and former foster youth ages 16-23 who are in the process of transitioning from foster care to adulthood. Mentors must be 25 years of age or older, and established in their profession or career.
Matching Process
Mentors and mentees each fill out a profile, and answer a series of questions. The computer sorts through both to measure the compatibility of their answers.
The Orphan Foundation of America's Matching Coordinator looks at the top 10 mentor matches for each mentee, considering race, religion and sexual orientation if the mentee has indicated that these particular characteristics are important in their mentor.
The top 3 choices of mentors are given to the mentee, and the young person gets to choose. The mentee also has the option to refuse all three, and get three more mentor choices. OFA is lucky to have a pool of mentors, although they could always use more male mentors.
Resources for Mentors
The Orphan Foundation of America's v-mentoring program offers monthly support calls and trainings once a quarter. Mentors can participate by phone. There are also frequent newsletters with helpful tips and timely information.
The mentoring portal has a wealth of resources for both mentors and mentees, including a continually-growing resource library and modules written by Jane O'Leary, so that if a young person mentions having a certain issue, the mentor has resources and can make a timely intervention.
At first, it was hoped that mentors and mentees could go through the mentoring modules in a sequential manner, as a way to structure their contact. However, life is unpredictable, and the top priority is connecting with that young person exactly where they are, and building the mentor-mentee relationship.
Funding
This project was initially funded through a grant from the Northrop Grumman Foundation. OFA continues to sustain the program financialls through:
- OFA scholarship funds, funded by Casey and private individuals
- Nine states (including NC) allow OFA to manage all their ETV funds
- North Carolina contracts with OFA to manage their Chafee funding as well
They also rely on grants that focus on bridging the gap between high school and post-secondary school for foster care alumni.
Outcomes
This year, the Orphan Foundation of America will be hiring an outside evaluator to do hard data regarding outcome measurement.
In the meantime, mentors and mentees are frequently invited to fill out online surveys. The vmentoring portal measures the frequency of contact between mentor and mentee. OFA has information about the mentees with which they can generate spreadsheets regarding academic and personal milestones.
Future Plans
The vmentoring portal was designed by Rich Webb, who continues to update it frequently. It is an ever-evolving resource, with fabulous features. In the future, the goal is utilize Genesis webinar in order to:
- Expand trainings with polls, powerpoint presentations and surveys
- Record and post trainings, and migrate them to create a "Mentor Training Library"
- Incorporate cognitive coaching techniques, such as 'planning maps' and 'problem-solving maps'
OFA is grateful for the insights of Colorado Center for Cognitive Coaching, a supervisory peer-coaching model dedicated to facilitate the development of 'self-directed youth,' and empower them to recognize and utilize all of their available resources.
Mentoring USA
The New York State mentoring program was chaired by Matilda Raffa Cuomo, who has been described as being the most active First Lady in New York State's history. It was the first mentoring program in the United States to specifically address the needs of young people in foster care.
In 1995, when state funding was no longer available, Cuomo founded Mentoring USA.
Mentoring USA has national consultants, who work with mentoring programs all over the country to implement a one-on-one, site-based mentoring model. The demographics of each site can vary.
Mentoring USA chooses which sites throughout the country that they are going to work with, and how many new sites they can take on each year. They now offer more technical assistance, such as modules to train staff, mentors and mentees.
Agencies or organizations pay Mentoring USA to provide technical assistance and/or to tailor the program. They can pay for more or less, depending upon their needs. Sometimes, their budget is smaller, and they just want to invest in a screening/training tool.
1. First, Mentoring USA decides if the agency or organization has the capacity to house a mentoring program.
2. Then, they work with staff members to define what that mentoring program should look like, and what/if any special focus areas exist (e.g. financial literacy).
3. They outline the requirements and strategy to establish the program.
Qualifications
Mentors must be over 18, and undergo an initial interview and a background check. During mentor training, there are two trainers. One trainer leads the session, while the other observes would-be mentors to see if there's a need for additional interviews.
Mentees can be youth in foster care, ages 7-21 (or even up to 23 years old). As long as a young person is connected to the agency and willing to partipate, they can be part of the program.
Requirements
The mentor and mentee must meet for 4 hours/month minimum, in accordance with research regarding mentoring effectiveness. This could mean meeting twice a month for two hours each, or four times a month for one hour. Certainly, they are both welcome to invest extra time.
There are various activities to build rapport. Group activities are good, because that way the mentee still gets something out of it, even if their mentor does show up or they don't get along with their mentor very well.
Group activities can include: yoga, goal-setting, career days, strategic planning, healthy lifestyle, self-defense or a guest speaker (e.g. Victoria Rowell). It's important that these activities be fun for everyone involved, and not feel like school.
Mentoring USA has developed a yearly calendar, but can customize their curriculum for the intended audience.
Matching Process
The process of matching mentors and mentees differs according to site, but what Keith Howard recommends is a combination of two methods:
1. List of questions for both mentors and mentees, based upon predetermined compatibility factors. Having an idea of participants' personalities can help (e.g. extrovert/introvert, interests, goals)
2. "Speed Matching;" a process similar to speed dating. Mentees sit in chairs in a circle, while mentors alternate chairs on the outside and ask pre-set questions. Meanwhile, the trainer pays attention to the interaction, guages the level of comfort and compatibility, and marks his/her observations on a scorecard.
It's important to note that Foster Care Initiatives Program Manager Keith Howard says that in his experience, matching is not the most important part. Rather, the most important part is facilitating that mentor-mentee relationship.
Match Breakdown
At the very first training, mentors and mentees are told what to expect in case of a mismatch of personalities:
- If a match breaks down, staff will try to support and maintain that relationship
- If they cannot salvage the match, they will end it and seek closure
- Because their model is 1:1 mentoring, either they will try to bring in two more people, or those two people might be out of the program
Outcome Measurement
Because Mentoring USA was founded by a former First Lady of New York, and supported by her Attorney General son, Andrew Cuomo, they are able to receive grants and funding without having to prove themselves by strenous outcome measurements.
Outcomes that they strive for are:
- Social skills (e.g. healthy levels of disclosure)
- Healthy life choices (qualitative measures)
- Conflict resolution (modules)
Grades are also a good indicator of success, although their mentoring model is social, not academic.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Disrupted adoption from the adoptee's point of view
Currently in the United States, adoptions are being promoted as the “cure” for foster care, and a panacea to all permanency issues. And yet, across America, there are a growing number of adoptions that dissolve after finalization.
The highest disruption rate is for children who are adopted as teenagers.
Also at higher risk are:
- Children who are separated from their siblings.
- Children who have been sexually abused
- Children who have been adopted before and that adoption failed
The term ‘disrupted adoption’ sounds like it was coined in order to minimize the emotional impact. It brings to mind phrases like: “The television program was disrupted by a commercial break,” or a teacher saying to her class, “Be quiet. I will tolerate no more disruptions!”
Perhaps it’s a subtle way to assign blame to the child. Could it be a lingering accusation of insubordination? Does it imply that the child is an intruder, disrupting the customary order of their adoptive parents’ household?
A friend of mine who was adopted from foster care was recently reading a blog entry from an adoptive parent whose complaint was: “I guess we just thought that we would love him sooner. He is obviously crazy about us, but I just find myself coming home from a long day at work, and wishing he would calm down.”
My friend looked up from the article and commented, “It sounds like they were looking for a puppy.”
Prelude to a Loss
A series of stages have been identified by the University of South Maine that often lead to adoption disruption. First, the adoptive parents become frustrated with the child’s behavior and begin questioning their choice to adopt. They start complaining about the child to other people.
Hopefully the adoptive parents have surrounded themselves with a support group to both comfort and challenge them regarding their parenting skills. It is normal to feel overwhelmed after an adoption, just as many parents go through an adjustment after their child’s birth.
When I became a stepmother, I remember that the transition to ‘instant parent’ wasn’t easy. It took time to define the roles in our relationship, to build trust and to set limits. I knew that it wouldn’t always be easy, and it wasn’t. But I also knew that when I chose to marry my husband, I was making a lifelong commitment to his daughters as well.
Adoption needs to be perceived as a serious commitment. A child is not a defective product. A child cannot be taken out on a trial run. You can’t have buyers’ remorse, and then take that child back for a refund.
And yet, prior to adoption disruption, adoptive parents allow themselves to fantasize about what it would be like if this child were no longer a part of their family. Finally, they issue an ultimatum to the child.
The Aftermath
Most articles about disrupted adoption focus primarily on the emotions of the adoptive parent. But what does it feel like to be the child, undergoing that level of rejection?
For children and teenagers who have experienced disrupted adoptions, this experience impacts both their personal identity and long-term survival.
They often wind up in limbo:
1.) Their birth certificate has been permanently changed. It is now inaccurate, because it has been rewritten to state that their adoptive mother gave birth to them. They aren’t allowed to have a copy of their original birth certificate without approval from both parents. In fact, they aren’t allowed to have personal documents, such as their (doctored) birth certificate, until they are 21 years old.
2.) Not only can they not rely on their former adoptive families, they are no longer legally related to their biological siblings. An adoptee explained it to me like this: “We are brother and sister, but on paper, it looks like we aren’t even related. I can’t even be his next of kin.”
3.) As they transition to adulthood, they are often unsure of how to fill out their taxes or the federal student aid application for school. They are asked to “prove” that their adoption was legally disrupted. If their adoptive parents have simply abandoned them, as happens all too often with teenagers, they can’t.
These transitioning young adults are unable to receive benefits such as ETV funds, because they were adopted and the assumption is that their adoptive parents – who have been receiving adoption subsidies for their care – are financially providing for them.
This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the "limbo" that adoptees whose adoption has been "disrupted" can experience... Think about international adoptees who wind up in the United States foster care system.
Recommended Policy Changes
Adoption agencies should be held to the standard of full disclosure. Research has demonstrated that parents who understand beforehand about a child’s previous physical or sexual abuse are less likely to disrupt the adoption. Sometimes, such as in the case of international adoption, there might not be a lot of information available. However, inasmuch as it is possible for an agency to fully inform adoptive parents about a child’s background, they should do so.
Screen adoptive parents’ motivations and expectations. Is the adoption based primarily on the needs of the child or the adoptive parent? Many people adopt due to their inability to conceive. Sometimes disruptions occur because parents feel entitled to some wonder-child that they’ve been imagining and the child doesn’t meet those expectations.
Training for adoptive parents should include the “what if” scenarios. What if you adopt a child, and discover that child has been sexually abused? Adoptive parents should be prepared in advance, and encouraged to create a financial and emotion safety net in the event that a child might need residential care.
Facilitate an atmosphere of trust, by allowing the child contact with loved ones. An adoptee shared with me her experiences on the day of her “Goodbye Visits” prior to her adoption.
During the course of one day, she had to say goodbye to her birth family, the foster family with whom she had been staying for years and her brother. That day was the most horrific day of her life.
Three months later, her new adoptive parents were upset that she didn’t want to call them “Mom” and “Dad.”
The term Reactive Attachment Disorder makes me nervous because I believe it is a diagnosis that is given too quickly. This label makes it easier to underestimate the resilience of an adoptee and to magnify their problems. It makes it easier to blame the adoptee when things go wrong.
Imagine if someone came to you and said, “You are going to enter the witness protection program. You need to go and say goodbye to all the people that you have ever loved. You can no longer have any contact with them. It is for their safety.”
In a witness protection scenario, national security might be at stake. But whose needs are being met when an adopted child is denied contact with loved ones from their past?
When I asked my friend why her adoption meant that she was denied contact with every person that she had ever loved, her explanation was, “Adoptive parents are insecure, especially with older kids. That’s why the government allows them to cut all ties.”
I believe that if her former foster family was safe enough to place her with during the interim, she should have been allowed to maintain contact with them. If she was allowed sibling visits prior to the adoption, they should have been continued afterwards as well.
I would like to invite readers to weigh in on this issue…
The highest disruption rate is for children who are adopted as teenagers.
Also at higher risk are:
- Children who are separated from their siblings.
- Children who have been sexually abused
- Children who have been adopted before and that adoption failed
The term ‘disrupted adoption’ sounds like it was coined in order to minimize the emotional impact. It brings to mind phrases like: “The television program was disrupted by a commercial break,” or a teacher saying to her class, “Be quiet. I will tolerate no more disruptions!”
Perhaps it’s a subtle way to assign blame to the child. Could it be a lingering accusation of insubordination? Does it imply that the child is an intruder, disrupting the customary order of their adoptive parents’ household?
A friend of mine who was adopted from foster care was recently reading a blog entry from an adoptive parent whose complaint was: “I guess we just thought that we would love him sooner. He is obviously crazy about us, but I just find myself coming home from a long day at work, and wishing he would calm down.”
My friend looked up from the article and commented, “It sounds like they were looking for a puppy.”
Prelude to a Loss
A series of stages have been identified by the University of South Maine that often lead to adoption disruption. First, the adoptive parents become frustrated with the child’s behavior and begin questioning their choice to adopt. They start complaining about the child to other people.
Hopefully the adoptive parents have surrounded themselves with a support group to both comfort and challenge them regarding their parenting skills. It is normal to feel overwhelmed after an adoption, just as many parents go through an adjustment after their child’s birth.
When I became a stepmother, I remember that the transition to ‘instant parent’ wasn’t easy. It took time to define the roles in our relationship, to build trust and to set limits. I knew that it wouldn’t always be easy, and it wasn’t. But I also knew that when I chose to marry my husband, I was making a lifelong commitment to his daughters as well.
Adoption needs to be perceived as a serious commitment. A child is not a defective product. A child cannot be taken out on a trial run. You can’t have buyers’ remorse, and then take that child back for a refund.
And yet, prior to adoption disruption, adoptive parents allow themselves to fantasize about what it would be like if this child were no longer a part of their family. Finally, they issue an ultimatum to the child.
The Aftermath
Most articles about disrupted adoption focus primarily on the emotions of the adoptive parent. But what does it feel like to be the child, undergoing that level of rejection?
For children and teenagers who have experienced disrupted adoptions, this experience impacts both their personal identity and long-term survival.
They often wind up in limbo:
1.) Their birth certificate has been permanently changed. It is now inaccurate, because it has been rewritten to state that their adoptive mother gave birth to them. They aren’t allowed to have a copy of their original birth certificate without approval from both parents. In fact, they aren’t allowed to have personal documents, such as their (doctored) birth certificate, until they are 21 years old.
2.) Not only can they not rely on their former adoptive families, they are no longer legally related to their biological siblings. An adoptee explained it to me like this: “We are brother and sister, but on paper, it looks like we aren’t even related. I can’t even be his next of kin.”
3.) As they transition to adulthood, they are often unsure of how to fill out their taxes or the federal student aid application for school. They are asked to “prove” that their adoption was legally disrupted. If their adoptive parents have simply abandoned them, as happens all too often with teenagers, they can’t.
These transitioning young adults are unable to receive benefits such as ETV funds, because they were adopted and the assumption is that their adoptive parents – who have been receiving adoption subsidies for their care – are financially providing for them.
This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the "limbo" that adoptees whose adoption has been "disrupted" can experience... Think about international adoptees who wind up in the United States foster care system.
Recommended Policy Changes
Adoption agencies should be held to the standard of full disclosure. Research has demonstrated that parents who understand beforehand about a child’s previous physical or sexual abuse are less likely to disrupt the adoption. Sometimes, such as in the case of international adoption, there might not be a lot of information available. However, inasmuch as it is possible for an agency to fully inform adoptive parents about a child’s background, they should do so.
Screen adoptive parents’ motivations and expectations. Is the adoption based primarily on the needs of the child or the adoptive parent? Many people adopt due to their inability to conceive. Sometimes disruptions occur because parents feel entitled to some wonder-child that they’ve been imagining and the child doesn’t meet those expectations.
Training for adoptive parents should include the “what if” scenarios. What if you adopt a child, and discover that child has been sexually abused? Adoptive parents should be prepared in advance, and encouraged to create a financial and emotion safety net in the event that a child might need residential care.
Facilitate an atmosphere of trust, by allowing the child contact with loved ones. An adoptee shared with me her experiences on the day of her “Goodbye Visits” prior to her adoption.
During the course of one day, she had to say goodbye to her birth family, the foster family with whom she had been staying for years and her brother. That day was the most horrific day of her life.
Three months later, her new adoptive parents were upset that she didn’t want to call them “Mom” and “Dad.”
The term Reactive Attachment Disorder makes me nervous because I believe it is a diagnosis that is given too quickly. This label makes it easier to underestimate the resilience of an adoptee and to magnify their problems. It makes it easier to blame the adoptee when things go wrong.
Imagine if someone came to you and said, “You are going to enter the witness protection program. You need to go and say goodbye to all the people that you have ever loved. You can no longer have any contact with them. It is for their safety.”
In a witness protection scenario, national security might be at stake. But whose needs are being met when an adopted child is denied contact with loved ones from their past?
When I asked my friend why her adoption meant that she was denied contact with every person that she had ever loved, her explanation was, “Adoptive parents are insecure, especially with older kids. That’s why the government allows them to cut all ties.”
I believe that if her former foster family was safe enough to place her with during the interim, she should have been allowed to maintain contact with them. If she was allowed sibling visits prior to the adoption, they should have been continued afterwards as well.
I would like to invite readers to weigh in on this issue…
Monday, February 18, 2008
For Oregon foster children, the psychotropic drugs are plentiful, but mental health services are few
Dr. Walter Shaffer, medical director for Oregon's medical assistance programs testified before the Senate Health and Human Services that:
*Between Jan. 1, 2004, and Dec. 31, 2006, children in the Oregon foster care system were three times more likely than other children to have been prescribed a psychiatric drug.
*Over that two-year period, nearly 4,700 Oregon foster children were prescribed an antidepressant, stimulant or other mood stabilizer.
*Meanwhile, less than a third of them received mental health assessments within 60 days as the law requires.
While the pharmaceutical industry might benefit from this all-too-common lack of oversight, it endangers the lives of these children.
As a former foster child and current youth advocate, I agree with Shaffer's recommendation that the state should:
1.) Hire a medical director for child welfare
2.) Build a network of nurses or mental health experts to consult with caseworkers
3.) Develop a better data system to track psychiatric medications used by children in foster care
It is important to note that this is a national problem, and it needs to be addressed. If the government is 'parenting' these children, then the government is accountable to regulate their medication, just as a parent would.
It is a crime when state laws are ignored, and hundreds of foster children prescribed multiple prescriptions with little or no state scrutiny.
Why? Because young children are three times as likely as adults to have adverse results to psychotropic drugs.
Drastic, damaging side effects can haunt their adulthood, as a result of this negligence, including lifelong medical problems and the inability to have children of their own.
Source:
Cole, Michelle. Testimony reveals foster care failings. Oregonian, Feb. 14, 2008.
*Between Jan. 1, 2004, and Dec. 31, 2006, children in the Oregon foster care system were three times more likely than other children to have been prescribed a psychiatric drug.
*Over that two-year period, nearly 4,700 Oregon foster children were prescribed an antidepressant, stimulant or other mood stabilizer.
*Meanwhile, less than a third of them received mental health assessments within 60 days as the law requires.
While the pharmaceutical industry might benefit from this all-too-common lack of oversight, it endangers the lives of these children.
As a former foster child and current youth advocate, I agree with Shaffer's recommendation that the state should:
1.) Hire a medical director for child welfare
2.) Build a network of nurses or mental health experts to consult with caseworkers
3.) Develop a better data system to track psychiatric medications used by children in foster care
It is important to note that this is a national problem, and it needs to be addressed. If the government is 'parenting' these children, then the government is accountable to regulate their medication, just as a parent would.
It is a crime when state laws are ignored, and hundreds of foster children prescribed multiple prescriptions with little or no state scrutiny.
Why? Because young children are three times as likely as adults to have adverse results to psychotropic drugs.
Drastic, damaging side effects can haunt their adulthood, as a result of this negligence, including lifelong medical problems and the inability to have children of their own.
Source:
Cole, Michelle. Testimony reveals foster care failings. Oregonian, Feb. 14, 2008.
Two great bills for foster care youth
Arkansas foster children driver's license passes
"Foster children would be able to obtain a driver's license more easily under legislation that passed the Senate on Thursday.
"Teenagers in foster care are unable to hold jobs, drive to school or visit friends without mobility, Madison and other bill supporters said. Foster parents usually are unable to afford liability coverage, and some teen-agers who are wards of the state live independently and have no foster parents.
"Under Senate Bill 247 by Sen. Sue Madison, D-Fayetteville, the state would assume liability for driving accidents by foster children.
"No other method would allow foster children old enough to drive but not to obtain their own liability insurance coverage to get valid driver's licenses, bill supporters told the committee.
"Although Madison said she had no figures available Wednesday, the financial impact on the state is expected to be less than the existing impact of teen-agers being unable to contribute fully to their own support through jobs.
"The bill passed 26-0 in the Senate and goes to the House."
Source: Legislative briefs, Arkansas News Bureau, March 13, 2007.
Colorado law lets foster children see siblings
"Colorado's foster children can now see their siblings if they have been separated but want to stay connected.
"Gov. Bill Ritter (D-Colorado) signed the measure into law on Thursday.
"It requires counties to arrange the visits.
"Former foster children like Tony Corley helped lobby at the Capitol in favor of the measure, which was passed unanimously by state lawmakers.
"I was in foster care and unable to see my siblings. Being in foster care can be challenging. Now, with this new law, the connection between siblings will be easier for others in the system of care," said Corley.
"When a foster child makes a simple request to see their brother and sister, we should all listen. We should put that request at the top of their list and our list. It might seem like a little thing, but for a child in foster care, it's not," said Ritter.
"Ritter says, on any given day, there are 8,800 Colorado children in foster care. "
Source: 9NEWS.com
"Foster children would be able to obtain a driver's license more easily under legislation that passed the Senate on Thursday.
"Teenagers in foster care are unable to hold jobs, drive to school or visit friends without mobility, Madison and other bill supporters said. Foster parents usually are unable to afford liability coverage, and some teen-agers who are wards of the state live independently and have no foster parents.
"Under Senate Bill 247 by Sen. Sue Madison, D-Fayetteville, the state would assume liability for driving accidents by foster children.
"No other method would allow foster children old enough to drive but not to obtain their own liability insurance coverage to get valid driver's licenses, bill supporters told the committee.
"Although Madison said she had no figures available Wednesday, the financial impact on the state is expected to be less than the existing impact of teen-agers being unable to contribute fully to their own support through jobs.
"The bill passed 26-0 in the Senate and goes to the House."
Source: Legislative briefs, Arkansas News Bureau, March 13, 2007.
Colorado law lets foster children see siblings
"Colorado's foster children can now see their siblings if they have been separated but want to stay connected.
"Gov. Bill Ritter (D-Colorado) signed the measure into law on Thursday.
"It requires counties to arrange the visits.
"Former foster children like Tony Corley helped lobby at the Capitol in favor of the measure, which was passed unanimously by state lawmakers.
"I was in foster care and unable to see my siblings. Being in foster care can be challenging. Now, with this new law, the connection between siblings will be easier for others in the system of care," said Corley.
"When a foster child makes a simple request to see their brother and sister, we should all listen. We should put that request at the top of their list and our list. It might seem like a little thing, but for a child in foster care, it's not," said Ritter.
"Ritter says, on any given day, there are 8,800 Colorado children in foster care. "
Source: 9NEWS.com
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Who has the authority to define "permanency?"
How the System Defines Permanency
A recent round table of experts, convened by Casey Family Services and the Annie E. Casey Foundation, defined permanency as:
“Having an enduring family relationship that:
- is safe and meant to last a lifetime
- offers the legal rights and social status of full family membership
- provides for all levels of a young person’s development
- assures lifelong connections to extended family, siblings, other significant adults, family history and traditions, race and ethnicity, culture, religion and language.”
These are lofty goals. It’s almost as if a group of people who emerged from a “normal” family looked at everything that they personally had, and said, “Yes, we want foster care youth to have that.” So, they set that as the standard, after taking upon themselves the responsibility to define what that standard is…
Is it realistic? Is it attainable? I don’t know. As a former foster care youth, I found my first “family” in my peers while living in a college dorm. But I did not have the legal rights of full family membership until I was married in 2001.
How Youth Define Permanency
It's important to note that young people in foster care define permanency very differently. When the Urban Institute and the California Youth Connection facilitated focus groups of foster youth to ask them about this issue:
- Some youth referred to permanency as a physical or concrete entity. They said things like: “Staying in one place” and “Not having to move” and “A place to stay until you age out.”
- Other young people said, “No, it’s more than a place to live. It’s a feeling of connection.” They defined permanency as an emotional commitment from other people.
One young man described the concept of permanency as being like a permanent marker; he said, “If you draw on the paper, that mark ain’t going nowhere. The paper may go somewhere or it could be picked up, but the mark ain’t going nowhere.”
That is a great visual. Think about the people who have made an indelible mark upon your life. Not all of them were connected to you by blood, birth or legal contract.
Whose Permanency Is It, Anyway?
Now, I am going to suggest something radical here… I believe that the “experts” and the “professionals” should allow the input of foster care youth and alumni to influence how they measure success in the area of permanency.
What do youth say about adoption, guardianship, reunification with their biological family, independent living programs and aging out of foster care?
During a youth panel at the 2006 Casey It's My Life conference:
1.) Young people differentiated between biological or legal family and chosen family
2.) Youth said that they needed an entire network of connections, and not just one person
3.) Young people didn't want to be viewed as a "failure" if they aged out of the system without being adopted
4.) Teenagers in foster care expressed their need for independence and independent living skills
There Is No “One-Size-Fits-All” Approach To Foster Care
The experiences of young people differ according to the situation. Some find happiness through reuniting with their biological families. Others report being taken advantage of by ‘predatory parents.’
Here are some legitimate fears that young people in foster care express:
1. “Do you just want to close my case, or am I really safe now?” Many young people fear becoming a ‘closed case.’ The rate of re-entry into the foster care system after an initial attempt at reunification is high.
2. “Aren’t I too old for adoption?” Teenagers in United States foster care report that they have learned from past experience that most foster parents are not eager to take teenagers into their homes. They also report their fears that, by being adopted, they might lose access to independent living classes, college tuition assistance and medical insurance.
3. “Why should I take the risk of adoption by a stranger?” One of the horrors of foster care is its unpredictability. Teenagers who have grown up in the system often know what to expect from independent living programs. They anticipate having some power and control over their personal living situation.
Young people interviewed by the Urban Institute said that when they were placed in a group home or foster home, they had opportunities to leave if they did not like it – but “once you are adopted, you are stuck.”
Broadening Our Definition of Permanency
We live in a pluralistic society, where the word ‘family’ can be defined in many ways. Perhaps the definition of permanency from that roundtable was more than just lofty… maybe it was limiting, too.
I would ask the experts: "Is it a nuclear family that we are trying to accomplish, and is anything less a failure? Are we engaging in partisan politics? Or are we trying to lay a foundation that will lead to lifelong emotional resiliency?"
Foster care alumni often report finding their first experience of “permanency” through friendships and mentoring relationships. A FosterClub intern from Michigan reported finding permanency through her involvement with the Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative, which she described as being an ‘emotional parent’ in her life.
The way I see it, the choice is simple: We can keep defining what permanency should look like for a young person and forcing it upon them. Or we can listen to the young people themselves.
Because for a researcher, this is an outcome. For a staff person, this might be a job performance issue. But for a young person in foster care, this is their life.
Sources:
Chambers, K., et al. Foster Youth’s Views of Adoption and Permanency. Urban Institute, Child Welfare Research Program, January 2008.
Research Roundtable: Convening on Youth Permanence, Sept. 12-13, 2006.
Sanchez, Reina M. Youth Perspectives on Permanency, California Youth Connection, California Permanency for Youth, 2004.
A recent round table of experts, convened by Casey Family Services and the Annie E. Casey Foundation, defined permanency as:
“Having an enduring family relationship that:
- is safe and meant to last a lifetime
- offers the legal rights and social status of full family membership
- provides for all levels of a young person’s development
- assures lifelong connections to extended family, siblings, other significant adults, family history and traditions, race and ethnicity, culture, religion and language.”
These are lofty goals. It’s almost as if a group of people who emerged from a “normal” family looked at everything that they personally had, and said, “Yes, we want foster care youth to have that.” So, they set that as the standard, after taking upon themselves the responsibility to define what that standard is…
Is it realistic? Is it attainable? I don’t know. As a former foster care youth, I found my first “family” in my peers while living in a college dorm. But I did not have the legal rights of full family membership until I was married in 2001.
How Youth Define Permanency
It's important to note that young people in foster care define permanency very differently. When the Urban Institute and the California Youth Connection facilitated focus groups of foster youth to ask them about this issue:
- Some youth referred to permanency as a physical or concrete entity. They said things like: “Staying in one place” and “Not having to move” and “A place to stay until you age out.”
- Other young people said, “No, it’s more than a place to live. It’s a feeling of connection.” They defined permanency as an emotional commitment from other people.
One young man described the concept of permanency as being like a permanent marker; he said, “If you draw on the paper, that mark ain’t going nowhere. The paper may go somewhere or it could be picked up, but the mark ain’t going nowhere.”
That is a great visual. Think about the people who have made an indelible mark upon your life. Not all of them were connected to you by blood, birth or legal contract.
Whose Permanency Is It, Anyway?
Now, I am going to suggest something radical here… I believe that the “experts” and the “professionals” should allow the input of foster care youth and alumni to influence how they measure success in the area of permanency.
What do youth say about adoption, guardianship, reunification with their biological family, independent living programs and aging out of foster care?
During a youth panel at the 2006 Casey It's My Life conference:
1.) Young people differentiated between biological or legal family and chosen family
2.) Youth said that they needed an entire network of connections, and not just one person
3.) Young people didn't want to be viewed as a "failure" if they aged out of the system without being adopted
4.) Teenagers in foster care expressed their need for independence and independent living skills
There Is No “One-Size-Fits-All” Approach To Foster Care
The experiences of young people differ according to the situation. Some find happiness through reuniting with their biological families. Others report being taken advantage of by ‘predatory parents.’
Here are some legitimate fears that young people in foster care express:
1. “Do you just want to close my case, or am I really safe now?” Many young people fear becoming a ‘closed case.’ The rate of re-entry into the foster care system after an initial attempt at reunification is high.
2. “Aren’t I too old for adoption?” Teenagers in United States foster care report that they have learned from past experience that most foster parents are not eager to take teenagers into their homes. They also report their fears that, by being adopted, they might lose access to independent living classes, college tuition assistance and medical insurance.
3. “Why should I take the risk of adoption by a stranger?” One of the horrors of foster care is its unpredictability. Teenagers who have grown up in the system often know what to expect from independent living programs. They anticipate having some power and control over their personal living situation.
Young people interviewed by the Urban Institute said that when they were placed in a group home or foster home, they had opportunities to leave if they did not like it – but “once you are adopted, you are stuck.”
Broadening Our Definition of Permanency
We live in a pluralistic society, where the word ‘family’ can be defined in many ways. Perhaps the definition of permanency from that roundtable was more than just lofty… maybe it was limiting, too.
I would ask the experts: "Is it a nuclear family that we are trying to accomplish, and is anything less a failure? Are we engaging in partisan politics? Or are we trying to lay a foundation that will lead to lifelong emotional resiliency?"
Foster care alumni often report finding their first experience of “permanency” through friendships and mentoring relationships. A FosterClub intern from Michigan reported finding permanency through her involvement with the Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative, which she described as being an ‘emotional parent’ in her life.
The way I see it, the choice is simple: We can keep defining what permanency should look like for a young person and forcing it upon them. Or we can listen to the young people themselves.
Because for a researcher, this is an outcome. For a staff person, this might be a job performance issue. But for a young person in foster care, this is their life.
Sources:
Chambers, K., et al. Foster Youth’s Views of Adoption and Permanency. Urban Institute, Child Welfare Research Program, January 2008.
Research Roundtable: Convening on Youth Permanence, Sept. 12-13, 2006.
Sanchez, Reina M. Youth Perspectives on Permanency, California Youth Connection, California Permanency for Youth, 2004.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Youth Transitions Finance Project
The Youth Transitions Resource Center provides resources on how to develop and sustain supports and services for youth transitioning out of foster care.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Previous articles, current news and proposed legislation
1. Sibling visitation:I have written about foster care and the pain of sibling separation and Hawaii's Project Visitation. Foster care youth in Iowa have lobbied state legislators to mandate sibling visitation, because this issue is so vitally important.
Recently, the Indiana Senate unanimously passed a bill to support sibling visitation. The battle is not won, however... the bill now moves to the Indiana House of Representatives for consideration.
2. Psychotropic medication:A new proposal by the Oregon Department of Human Services could affect over 2000 Oregon children who receive psychiatric medications are taking multiple prescriptions with little or no state scrutiny.
It has been alleged that the high rate of prescriptions for psychotropic drugs for children in the foster care system is motivated by financial gains by the pharmaceutical industry.
It is unconscionable that the use of these drugs is not monitored and, in fact, group homes have financial incentive to drug the children in their care.
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