Four workshop activities at the fifth annual It's My Life conference

"Navigate Your Success As An Advocate:" Amanda Denara Johnson doesn't listen to negative self-talk!


The Ohio chapter of FCAA, Amanda Dunlap, Amanda Keller and I, were lucky because we presented our workshop, Overcoming Trauma and Achieving Intimacy, during the first session.

This meant that after our presentation was over, we were able to enjoy all the other wonderful workshops that IML had to offer!

Here are some workshop activities that I was very impressed by:

1.) In By Chance, Out By Choice

This activity shared portions of a play by Kamika Whetstone.

The actors (all foster care youth and alumni) acted out various roles of young people going through struggles, and adults in their lives who were either helping, harming or just observing them.

In the middle, they stopped -- and, let's face it, the play was so fabulous that I didn't want them to stop -- and broke the audience down into groups. One of the actors facilitated each group, as we tried to figure out what would happen to that character next.

What decisions would he or she make? Would this person survive? Thrive?

Then, they acted out the end of the play, and we were able to see if our guesses were right or not!

2.) Foster Youth and the Juvenile Justice System

In this workshop, we were introduced to:
- the background of the juvenile justice system
- the high rate of foster care youth and alums who get involved in it
- some of the reasons why young people might end up in the system

Among those reasons is the fact that some group home staff or foster parents over-rely on law enforcement in order to deal with normal adolescent behavior.

Young people who transfer from the foster care system to the juvenile justice system risk losing some of their educational funding and other benefits, depending on which state they are in...

After the preliminary discussion, we broke down into groups to play this powerful board game:

- Each member of the group had a role: foster care youth, group home staff, social worker and CASA.

- The rules were: The foster kid could not talk or roll the dice. Everyone else took turns rolling for them and moving their one token across the board. We could land on things like: "ran away," "got into a fight," or "disrupted adoption."

If we landed on a "Decision Point," then we all had to guess what what going on, and try to come up with the best placement decision -- but without any input from the foster child, because that person wasn't allowed to talk.

- At the end: The person who acted as the foster child was finally able to speak. She read from a piece of paper explaining all the reason behind her behavior.

Every one of our assumptions about the "why" of her behavior turned out to be wrong!

This game is a powerful teaching tool that should be played at least once by all professionals in a foster child's life, in order to remind them about how impossible it is to make the right placement decisions for a child without his or her input.

3.) Biological Parents and College Students from Foster Care

The initial activity was to break people down into groups and give them puzzle pieces. But, each group soon realized that it would be impossible to complete the activity successfully, because the puzzle pieces didn't match the box -- or each other.

This was an effective way to demonstrate the difficulty that is sometimes experienced in reuniting with birth families after aging out of foster care.

One presenter shared that when she was in college, her bio-mom found out about the stipend and grants that she was receiving and started relying on her daughter to financially support her.

Finally, she had to say NO to her mom, and learn how to take care of herself. This was a painful decision for her, and she was brought to tears as she shared.

4.) Navigate Your Own Success As An Advocate

This workshop also relied on creative dramatics as a way to keep the audience engaged and get the audience involved.

The workshop leaders role-played both negative and positive "self-talk" by having one person lie down, and others surround her, speaking to her in voices of either encouragement or discouragement.

Then, they role-played two scenarios between a foster care youth and her (sixth) social worker. In the first one, the social worker hadn't read her file and didn't know her name -- and the foster care youth told her off.

In the second scenario, the social worker came better prepared, and the young person expressed the same concerns but in a nicer and more proactive way:

"This is what I want from you. This is what I need from you. You are my sixth social worker in ___ months, so it is hard for me to trust that you will live up to your promises, but for now I will give you the benefit of the doubt."

Then, two people from the audience came up. One person shared that, in real life, she had just been placed in a brand-new foster home, and neither she nor her new foster mom knew what the expectations were.

The other, a young man, was assigned the role of "foster dad" and the two of them negotiated the expectations together:

- What was her curfew?
- What about boys?
- What about having her friends over?
- etc.

All four of these workshops were creative and memorable.

Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

During the month of October, Wendy's will be selling Trick or Treat Gift Books as part of an annual fundraising effort to support the Wendy's Wonderful Kids program, via the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

For just a dollar, each Wendy's Gift Book contains coupons for ten Junior Frosty's ($8.90 value). That's less than nine cents per coupon, which makes this a good deal for you -- and an opportunity to help some of the 513,000 children who are waiting for families within the United States foster care system.

One example of how funds are spent:
The North Carolina Children's Home Society received two Wendy's Wonderful Kids grants this year, each funding a staff position focused on finding permanent families for an identified group of children awaiting adoption.

As a result, 15 children were linked with adoptive homes.

Circle of Influence vs. Circle of Concern

I've always been a "save the world" kind of person.

As a child, from the first time I learned about history, all I could think of was the atrocities that had occurred, such as slavery, the Holocaust, poor treatment of Native Americans, etc. and how much I wished I could have been there to fight the evil and make a positive difference.

As an adult, I have focused my passions on one area: foster care. This seems to be the area wherein I can make the most impact, and for which my personal and professional experiences have prepared me.

Yet, even when narrowing your focus to just the foster care arena, it can be easy to become overwhelmed. A very dear friend of mine was brought to tears during the It's My Life conference, because she heard so many stories of pain in a row...

The best help that I have ever received in this area is from the book: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. In this book, he talks about your "circle of influence" and "circle of concern."

Just speaking for me personally, my circle of concern is HUGE. I care about every person in and from foster care... and that is one big circle!

But, the secret is to be faithful within your circle of influence. Do the very best job you can with every opportunity that is offered you to make a positive difference in the child welfare system, and two things will happen:

1.) Your efforts will make a positive ripple effect that affects the larger circle

2.) Your circle of influence will widen

That's definitely what has happened with me.

My involvement in Foster Care Alumni of America has literally changed my life, because we represent a collective voice and collective effort. We are a national organization that is constantly changing, growing and making additional connections.

And I love being a part of this movement!

Childhood Sexual Abuse

Postcard created by an alumna of foster care, as part of an ongoing postcard project by Foster Care Alumni of America.






Sexual Abuse in Foster Care
In the general public, physical abuse of children occurs twice as often as sexual abuse.

Within the foster care system, however, foster care youth and alumni report experiencing sexual abuse at a higher than physical abuse.

While there are no significant gender differences regarding physical abuse or neglect in foster care settings, studies have demonstrated that girls are at greater risk for sexual abuse within the foster care system.

Eighty-five women between the ages of 18-25 years old participated in a study supported by the Orphan Foundation of America:

- 65% of participants reported a history of sexual abuse.
- 35% reported experiencing that abuse during their time in foster care.

Not surprisingly, participicants who experienced sexual abuse both at home and in foster care settings demonstrated the highest rate of self-blame, feelings of betrayal and powerless, and stigmatization.

Fearing the Victim
Foster and adoptive parents are concerned about their ability to meet the needs of these young people. They worry about the risk to other children who live in their homes. They fear being subject to allegations themselves.

Girls with a history of sexual abuse are subject to twice as many placement changes as girls without a history of sexual abuse. They are more likely to be housed in group homes and residential placements.

How to Care for Victims of Sexual Abuse
1.) Close supervision: Children often imitate what they have experienced, and live out what they know. If a child's first introduction to touching was sexual touching, that child might inadvertently pass on the abuse to other children.

2.) Effective sexual education: Young people who have been exposed to too much, too soon, often had the physical experience without truly understanding what was going on. What they do know about sex has been horribly distorted.

3.) Modification of inappropriate behaviors: Victims of abuse need to learn how to set healthy boundaries for physcially relating to other people. Often, their response to touch leaps to polar extremes, between fear and fascination.

4.) Therapeutic attention to the child's deeper unmet needs: It is vital to have a thorough understanding of the young person's history, so that their current behaviors are seen in the context of past trauma and experiences.

Ideally, foster parents would be given the information they need in order to prepare their home. A study funded by the Department of Health showed that in order half the cases, the sexual abuse history of children was not shared with their foster caregavers.

Even in cases where this information was shared, the extent, severity and identity of the abuser was often omitted from the case files.

Source:
(2007) Breno, Anjey and Galupo, M. Paz. Sexual abuse histories of young women in the U.S. child welfare system: A focus on trauma-related beliefs and resilience, Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 2007, Vol. 16 Issue 2, p97-113.

(2003) Farmer, Elaine and Pollock, Sue. Managing sexually abused and/or abusing children in substitute care. Child & Family Social Work, May2003, Vol. 8 Issue 2, p101-112.

2007 Adoption Ethics and Accountability Conference

What's Lisa been up to lately?

I want to apologize to my readers for somewhat neglecting my blog...

Here are some of the things that I've been involved in lately, as part of my involvement with Foster Care Alumni of America:

1.) Preparing to present at the national It’s My Life Conference. The conference’s 700 attendees will include youth, alumni and social work professionals from across the nation. Registration is already full.

2.) Serving on the planning committee and preparing to present at a statewide independent living conference.

Our goals are to create an environment for foster care youth and alumni to exchange insights with child welfare professionals, to provide information for participants to use in their daily work/personal lives, and to promote current “Best Practices” in our state – including the effective use of Chafee and TANF IL funding.

3.) Preparing to moderate a foster care workshop and work with homeless youth to create a documentary to be shared at a statewide youth housing conference.

4.) Working with a university professor and many other valuable allies on a statewide independent living survey, targeting 10 counties in my state. What kinds of pre-/post-emancipation services are young people in the foster care system receiving? (Or not receiving?)

5.) Being invited to present in 2008 at an annual trainer event, wherein the 200-300 attendees will be the trainers of every social worker and every foster parent in my state.

6.) Laying the groundwork to establish a mentoring program in my city in 2008, wherein foster care youth are paired with alumni.

Five Blog Entries That Make Me Think

I was recently asked to post five blog entries that make me think...

To be honest, most of the stuff that elicits my thoughts and concerns winds up either on this blog, or on my Favorite Quotes or Fostering Intimacy blogs.

However, there have been five blog entries that sparked my interest lately, although they are from just two people!

Here they are:
Less of Paige: Children are not puppies
Less of Paige: Job Requirements for the Hardest Job on Earth
Back in Skinny Jeans: That I would be good
Back in Skinny Jeans: Perfect depression: Your soul is warning you
Back in Skinny Jeans: Trapped in fat and thin

Former foster kids and our obligations

Recently, a thoughtful and talented friend of mine, whom I greatly respect, asked me:

"Do you think those of us who have been in foster care should feel obligated to be a foster parent for a little bit?"

I started to reply, but my answer got so long that I decided to write a blog entry about it!

I believe that those of us who are in and from foster care should take the Maslow approach:

1.) First and foremost, we have to physically and emotionally survive loss, chaos and often unsafe living conditions. It breaks my heart to read newspaper articles about children who die in foster care or at the hands of abusive bio-parents.

2.) Second, after aging out of care, we have build a base of resources for ourselves. Food to eat. A place to sleep. A plan for the future, such as education and/or a job.

It's okay to try to help other people, and I certainly did at the time.

However, at this point it's sort of like being on a plane and putting the airmask on yourself first, before trying to help the person sitting next to you. If you run out of oxygen, you will perish, and you will not make it to help anybody else.

3.) Third, allow ourselves time to heal. This takes time. It cannot be rushed. And we can't take other people further along the path of healing than we have made it ourselves.

Again, it is okay to help other people during this process -- but it's also wise to build friendships with "not-needy" people. People who might seem sheltered, and at first difficult to relate to because they seem so unfamiliar.

Why befriend these unfamiliar people? If they care about us, they can be part of our circle of restorative relationships.

Speaking as a stepmom, it was hard to be a mother, when I had only distant memories of having a mother myself. One thing that helped was the fact that my friends from college had invited me to spend holidays with them, and those trips gave me a glimpse into another world.

Also, let's be honest, and I am speaking from personal experience here, if you have problems and all of your friends have problems, it's easy to start thinking that the whole world is this DARK and desolate place, with nothing but problems.

And that might feel true, but it's simply not an accurate picture of the world.

As Jack Nicholson sardonically put it in the movie As Good As It Gets: "It's not true. Some people have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car."

In college, I tended to drift back and forth between friendships with the pretty story, boat-floating, noodle salad people, and my other friends whose boatless, noodle-salad-less lives were more familiar.

I think most all of us who have been in foster care have a deep desire to help others. That is a big part of the premise of what Foster Care Alumni of America is based upon... The entire national organization is rooted in phone calls and interviews with 1600 foster care alumni who all wanted to give back and help 'the next generation.'

But how we choose help is up to each one of us, individually:

- Some of us might (and do) choose to be foster parents.
- Others adopt.
- Others have children of their own, and choose not to continue the cycle of abuse that we experienced as children.
- Many of us volunteer our time and advocate for change.

Just as I believe that there's no "one size fits all" approach to families that break down, there's no "one map" to how we alumni should function as adults either.

The beauty and the glory of foster care alumni is that we each bring our talents, insights, creativity, gifts and passion to the table. We are each very unique - and I love that!

So.... that's my take. I must confess to not always taking my own advice. In college, there were times when I spent my grocery money on other people and then had to make do with condiments from the student center. Really goofy, silly things like that, because I really - really - really wanted to help everyone.

But this is how I feel about it, looking back from an adult perspective.


What do YOU think?

An Interesting Point of View

I've been meaning to link to this blog for quite some time:
http://evlogeite.com/?p=143

Please respect the blogger's wishes as per his request to me:
Lisa, I don’t at all mind you linking this entry on your blog. I have visited your blog, and it is really very good. I hope that everyone who runs across this will do the same. I would also be happy to participate in comments on your site.

May I ask one favor? I know that as a former foster child your perspective is vastly different than the one I expressed in this entry. For about seven years I represented the child advocates in my area, and I also represent DSS from time to time, so I know how very different perspectives can be.

So my favor is this: this entry was written primarily as a theological meditation, although it reflects real life. While I certainly don’t mind a vigorous debate about my outlook on your blog, I would prefer that the focus here remain on the theological lessons.

As such, if your readers should come here and have disagreements with what I said, I ask only that they return to your blog to express those views, as opposed to having that debate here. Silly, I know, but if people could humor me I would be very grateful.

Have you ever considered becoming a vMentor?

Do you care about the plight of young people in and from the foster care system? Maybe you would like to help in some way, but don't know where to start? Perhaps you lead such a busy life, that you worry about taking on a new commitment that you might not be able to juggle?

Why not consider becoming a vMentor to a high school student in foster care or young person who has just aged out of the foster care system and is now navigating his or her way through college?

I became a virtual mentor through the Orphan Foundation of America last year, and over the past 13 months, it has been an absolute joy getting to know my mentee. At first, it took time to get the conversation going! But, after we built a base of trust, my mentee began to share more about her goals and insights - and the experience has been invaluable.

Requirements:
Virtual mentors must be 25 years or older. Mentors are screened through an initial process, including a background check, before being matched with a mentee by OFA staff. A two-year commitment is requested.

Ensuring A Safe Atmosphere:
All emails between you and your mentee must take place on the vMentor portal, in order to maintain a secure and safe setting.

Providing Support and Resources:
Through the vMentor portal, you can not only correspond with your mentee, but if you need assistance, you can contact one of the two mentee support personnel. There are content experts available to provide their expertise on legal issues, counseling, parenting and practical skills. Every month, training for vMentors is provided via a conference call, and the notes from these trainings are available via the vMentor portal.

Need for Male Mentors:
Due to the success of the virtual mentoring program, during 2006, there were average of 250 active mentor-mentee matches at a time. However, there is a great need for male mentors. OFA is currently trying to match 26 male youth who are new to the program, and have only 13 male mentors who aren't already matched.

For more information, please visit: http://www.vmentor.com/

How statewide YAB goals fit into a national perspective

Created on May 2006 and revised in July 2006, the O.H.I.O. (Overcoming Hurdles in Ohio) youth advisory board have come up with a list of recommendations regarding the child welfare system.

I have summarized these goals, linking each item to additional articles and/or resources in order to fit their goals within a larger perspective.

1.) Having their voice heard in court: Young people want to be able to speak to the judge personally about their case. They want to be present when a move is being considered or custodial decisions are being made.

They desire meaningful interaction with the CASA or guardian ad-litem who is representing them in court. After all, any adult would want to meet with his / her lawyer before a trial.

2.) Agencies need to provide more opportunities to gain hands-on, real life experience, such as paying bills, managing a checking account, obtaining housing, and accessing public transportation, so that young people will be prepared to transition out of foster care.

3.) Normalcy:

- Foster parents need the authority to make certain decisions for foster youth, such as whether or not the youth can spend the night at a friend’s house, whether they can leave the county, if they can date, etc.

- Foster youth need to complete driver’s education prior to their release, or prior to aging out of foster care.

4.) Keep siblings together whenever possible. Maintain strong, regular contact between siblings and other kin when placed apart.

5.) Continuity of care with therapist: Maintaining the same therapist, regardless of placement, builds trust and gives youth time to work through emotional issues. Caseworkers and foster parents should also receive more training in the emotional challenges faced by foster youth.

6.) Young people in the foster care system desire opportunitities to share their insights regarding placements, including reunification.

Foster youth want to be able to contact their caseworker directly. Meetings regarding the possiblity of reunification should include youth, biological parents, foster parents and caseworker.

7.) Foster youth want the homes in which they are placed to be safe.

They recommend that foster parents participate in training, meet strict qualifications and be evaluated on an ongoing basis. They also recommend that foster parents be observed actually interacting with youth before being granted a license.

Additional Resources
Gilpatrick, Breanne. Foster kids call for the right to drive: Legal hurdles could derail a proposal intended to make it easier for foster children to obtain their driver's licenses. Miami Herald.

Will the Fostering Adoption to Further Student Achievement Act be retroactive?

My friend and her sister were adopted by a couple who also adopted two other sibling groups (making six adopted children total in their household).

Then, this couple divorced --- and in the aftermath, neither has stepped up to the mat to support my friend during her college years. Will the Fostering Adoption to Further Student Achievement Act apply to her? Is it retroactive?

My friend is 20 years old, and a sophomore in college -- and she is facing these challenges on her own. I wonder if this legislation will or will not apply retrospectively to her?

On July 20, 2007, the Higher Education Access Act of 2007 passed the Senate by a vote of 78-18, increasing college access and affordability by boosting financial aid.

The Fostering Adoption to Further Student Achievement Act, was introduced by Senators Norm Coleman (R-MN) and Mary Landrieu (D-LA) to amend the Higher Education Access Act. It is intended to encourage the adoption of older children by not forcing a teenager to choose between a loving family and financial aid.

Current law allows youth who "age out" of the foster care system to qualify for virtually all college loans and grants, while essentially penalizing those who are adopted.

The Coleman-Landrieu amendment expands the definition of "independent student" as defined in current law to include youth in foster care who are adopted after their tenth birthday. This allows a student's financial aid eligibility to be determined solely by that student's ability to pay, regardless of his or her adoptive family's income level, since many families who adopt teenagers and pre-teens may have done so without being able to shoulder the entire burden of college tuition.

"Education and a loving family are two key components of a child's mental and emotional development. No child should have to choose between the two," said Senator Coleman.

"Under current law, adopted teenagers lose out on some or all college financial aid for which they would otherwise have been eligible, depending on his or her adopted parents' financial situation. I applaud the Senate for passing our amendment to alleviate this discrepancy and encourage teen and pre-teen adoption."

"It is unacceptable for students to receive less financial aid merely because they were adopted," Senator Landrieu said.

"Restricting the financial aid opportunities of adopted teens unfairly penalizes them simply for seeking the love and stability that only a family can offer. This amendment corrects such unwise law by allowing adopted children to receive the financial help they need to attend college and realize their full potential."

Source: Press release by the National Foster Parent Association

Foster Care Youth As Community Assets

There is an unfortunate tendency toward viewing foster care youth and alumni with suspicion, rather than seeing them as community assets and resources.

Teens in the foster care system are perceived as being in need of various governmental services, rather than being able to offer valuable services to the community.

The truth is that young people in and from foster care have much to offer in terms of insights and abilities. Empowering them to participate in community service projects has the potential to reap many benefits, both for the young people themselves and for their local community.

What works and what doesn’t?
What’s the best method to engage this population in community service projects?

1.) Let us pick the issue.
First of all, the service needs to be meaningful to the young people involved. YouthBuild USA began in Harlem, New York in 1978, when founder Dorothy Stoneman asked neighborhood teens, “How would you improve your community if you had adult support?’

They responded that they would rebuild houses, take back buildings from drug dealers and eliminate crime. This vision, building affordable housing for homeless and low-income people, was created by the youth themselves -- and the program remains successful today.

2.) Treat us as equals.
The Vision Statement on Youth Engagement created by the Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative advocates for youth leadership. It includes quotes from recently emancipated foster youth, whose request is: “Involve us in changing our own destinies.”

Rather than just lip services about youth involvement, young people in and from the foster care system desire a meaningful role in directing their own futures. In service projects, they are not just there to receive orders - they need to be engaged in brainstorming and critical thinking.

Whenever possible, young people should be involved in the planning and overall vision for the service project. It's only by active engagement that this program will meet their developmental needs.

3.) Be trustworthy and reliable.
Facilitator should strive to create a well-structured program with a predictable routine and clear, consistent expectations. As FosterClub has expressed so eloquently in their philosophy statement, the foster care experience is characterized by chaos.

Young people in the foster care system often find it difficult to trust adults. Working on a project side-by-side and listening to one another can build the foundation for positive relationships. Valuable insights can be shared with one another.

4.) Prepare us for the future.
Ideally, the project would build skills that will prove to be helpful to young people during their transition to adulthood.

Foster youth face the same challenges that all young people face when entering the adult world, plus the extra challenge of having been parented by the child welfare system. Often, due to our circumstances, we might not have a driver's license, might not have been allowed to work during our time in care - and if our wings fail us in the adult world, we do not have a nest to come back to...

Depending upon the setting, young people might build skills in learning how to access community resources, navigating their way through college or learning practical skills that will be appreciated by their future employers. The project could even prepare them for parenting, if it involved assisting at a camp for younger children, for example.

5.) Support us during our involvement, and stay in touch with us after the project is over.
Projects like AmeriCorps support participants by meeting their basic living needs in terms of housing and stipends. This provides participants with a sense of stability.

When young people contribute to the local community, it's important that program facilitators be willing to advocate for program participants in return. Please be aware of the needs of young people involved in the program. If you hear of legislation that might have a potential impact upon their lives, be willing to advocate on their behalf.

The Youth Volunteering and Civic Engagement Survey was conducted between January and March of 2005. This survey found that volunteering increases the likelihood of future social and civic engagement, and that volunteer experience is positively correlated to social connections such as family, faith-based communities, and schools.

Energize, a website created for leaders of volunteers, provides helpful research, tips and other information.

Source:
Bisi, Robert. Changing the paradigm: Positioning foster care youth as community assets and resources. Youth Service Journal, Vol. 2, Issue 1.
Kolodinsky, Jane, PhD. The effects of volunteering for non-profit organizations on social capital formation: Evidence from a statewide survey. Nonprofit and Volunteer Sector Quarterly, Feb. 12, 2003.

Five Foster Care Posts for New Visitors

I have been tagged by Nicki Mann from They're All Our Children for a meme.

The idea is to point out five of my previous posts that I think are especially important, and would recommend for a first-time visitor to my blog to read...

Here goes:

Foster children are first and foremost children -- and the desires of our hearts are like that of any other child...

1.) Our personal belongings are important to us, and when we have to travel from one place to another, our possessions should be carried in suitcases, rather than garbage bags.


2.) We love our siblings, and being separated from our siblings is painful.


3.) If we are sad about losing everything that we have ever known, your first response should not be to dull our pain with drugs.
4.) When in doubt, please listen to us. We have a lot to say.


5.) Please give us opportunities to share our talents and give back to our community.

We have a lot to offer... which is a subject that I plan to cover in my next blog entry!

Postcards included in this entry are part of the Culture of Foster Care Project... To see more, please visit Foster Care Alumni of America.

What are the arguments for and against family-centered practice in foster care?

Traditional social work services typically focus on the individual and are provided in an office setting.

In family-centered practice, the social worker goes to the family's home and/or community, in order to work with the family as a collective unit. The idea is that both the foster and birth parents are recognized as having a continuing place in the child’s life and are accepted as equal partners in the treatment process.

Is Family-Centered Practice Perfect?
I was recently asked to come up with a list of pros and cons of family-centered practice in the child welfare system.

The first thing that I found interesting is that if you Google this subject, you will find nothing but praise for family-centered practice when it comes to foster care. It is the latest trend, it seems, the cure-all, the panacea.

I guess it's the inner cynic in me that rejects the idea of a magic bullet that somehow works in each and every situation. There is no magical formula for families that break down. Sometimes biological parents are willing and able to change, sometimes not. There are varying levels of emotional investment between parent and child.

A one-size-fits-all approach does not work for children in foster care. It depends on many factors – like why child entered care in the first place.

But I have yet to find a resource listing both the positives and negatives of family-centered practice, when it comes to foster care.

Here is what I have so far... I welcome reader input on this issue!

Pros:
· Looking at family environment: The underlying tenet of family-centered practice is that people can be best understood within their environments. An ongoing family assessment can lend a lot of information regarding child safety if he/she ever returns to their biological parents.

The primary goal (on paper at least) is child safety.

· Empowering foster parents: There is wisdom in listening to their insights on child behavior. Foster parents should know the child better than the social worker, because they spend more time with the child.

Cons might include:
· Listening to the biological parent voice when that voice is not in the best interest of the child:

One foster care alumna recently shared with me that her bio-mom was the best of friends with her social worker. Her bio-mom was allowed to control her contact list - who she could visit or talk to. Her mom misused that privilege…

Her aunt was willing to adopt her, but because her mother and aunt didn’t get along, she wasn’t allowed to have contact with her aunt. In this instance, family squabbling was allowed to stand in the way of this foster child's chances to achieve permanency.

· Physical risk to social workers: When social workers step out of their offices and into the homes of families in crisis, they run the risk of an assault. More than 50% of the social workers surveyed reported being physically assaulted at work.

The current solution offered by National Association of Social Workers is security training. However, let's be frank here, if a birth parent has a weapon, the social worker can end up dead.

· Insisting that foster parents and birth family stay connected. Couldn't this insistence can put foster parents and even their biological children in danger?

· The unwavering idea that, despite family problems, parents remain experts on their own youth. Hmm... This really varies.

Was my friend M's father an expert when he offered her up to a male friend in exchange for drugs? How attuned could he possibly be to her personal needs while he was offering her up to service a stranger so that he could get a quick fix?

Inviting Input from Readers:
The family-centered approach is founded on the unwavering idea that families can change. However, I am against prioritizing family preservation above the safety and best interest of the child.

Would we ask a domestic violence victim to have regular visits with her abusive ex-husband? Does a father who repeatedly sexually abused his daughter for years deserve to have the right to decide to whom she can talk on the phone?

I want to invite reader input: I know that there are social workers and child welfare professionals who read this blog.

Please tell me more about the pros and cons of family-centered practice from your point of view. I want to learn more...

Lending A Hand to Worldwide Child Protection

Hands can hurt
and hands can heal.

Hands can be raised in prayer,
raised in agreement
or raised in anger.

A hand can pat you on the back with encouragement,

or it can grip your shoulders and throw you against the wall.

Hands can reach out to you to take something that you can never get back.

But hands can also be instruments of love, comfort and healing.

Hands are being raised across the world in preparation for National Child Protection Week. These hands will be part of an international flag of commitment, pledging to do our part to make the world a friendlier place for children. The flag will fly in Cairns Australia during the week of September 2 - 8, proudly waving handprints from all over the globe.

My hand is raised to pledge my commitment to supporting the needs of people in and from foster care. It represents my vow to advocate for their voice to be heard, and to stand alongside of them, creating a collective voice.

My hand is raised in hope that what has been broken can be rebuilt, and what has been hurt can heal. Sometimes it takes years – but children from fractured families can eventually find a family of their own.

I found my first family in my friends in college and built my second when I married my husband and became a stepmother to his two children. Now, I have a third family in terms of my “siblings,” other alumni of foster care.

Finally, my hand is raised in a plea for balance in making decisions about the futures of young people in foster care. We cannot allow finances to determine child placement. We cannot worship theories, and use one method in every situation – because, with child protection, there is no “one-size-fits-all approach.”

There is no magical formula for families that break down. Sometimes biological parents are willing and able to change. Other times, children who are forced to stay with abusive parents die or are forever scarred -- physically or emotionally -- by their parents' actions. The bottom line is whether or not the child and their siblings are safe.

"Having a place to go – is a home.
Having someone to love – is a family." - Donna Hedges

"A house is a home when it shelters the body and comforts the soul." - Phillip Moffitt

Laying the groundwork for a statewide independent living survey

SAMPLE: Young people ages 17-23*, residing in licensed public / private foster and group home facilities in 10 counties across the state.

*We will be focusing on cases in AFCARS data... which unfortunately does not include kinship care placements. And, logistics dictate that the survey of youth who have already aged out of care will be done through a random sample of ETV recipients, for this initial study.

COLLABORATION: This survey will be most useful if it is a collaborative effort including the statewide Youth Advisory Board, statewide public and private foster care agencies, statewide independent living association and the state chapter of Foster Care Alumni of America.

Each group has insights to offer in terms of: questions to ask, method of asking questions, logistics of surveying, usability of information – reporting out and using results.

PREPARATION:
1.) Compile a list of independent living coordinators in each county and find out how many counties have after-care coordinators.

2.) Schedule a conference call with organizations listed above to invite them to partner on this project.

3.) After identifying the independent living experts in each county, they should be invited to participate in a conference call as well.

BACKGROUND:
An examination of the current county level of funding for independent living services divided by the number of youth in care in each county has revealed that the money is indeed being dispersed fairly and equitably to each county. The discrepancy lies in how this money is being spent to help young people who are public wards of the state.

Independent living services differ greatly by county. Some young people have reported receiving a lot of guidance and support, while others report receiving none.

PROPOSED TIMELINE:
1.) OCT - DEC 2007 – Identify independent living specialists in each county.

2.) JAN - MARCH 2008 – Analyze type of independent living services provided, annual budget, amount of staff, number of youth served, barriers/challenges to providing services.

3.) APRIL - MAY 2008 – Random sample of foster home and group home providers, knowledge of services available and barriers/challenges to accessing services.

4.) JUNE - AUG 2008 – Youth questionnaire: types and amounts of IL services provided, perceived usefulness, knowledge of available services, barriers/challenges to receiving assistance and support.

I think the best part of this proposed research project is the fourth step: eliciting feedback from young people in and from foster care. We are the "consumers" of the child welfare system -- and professionals can learn much from our insights and experiences!

Testimonials from other former foster children

What worked for us:

1.) Seeking higher education

- "Get an education, it may be very easy, or it may be very hard. Some may need to recuperate from the time spent in care first. And some may be ready to hit college immediately."

- "I went to college right away. Though in retrospect I didn't know enough about what I wanted to study, I needed those years to learn to take care of myself."

- "I started college and stayed in school, even during a period of homelessness. I went straight on to grad school. Being in college was like my second childhood, and my friends there were my first real family."

2.) Financial aid (Pell Grants, student loans, graduate internships, work-study)

- "Financial aid, and also getting a job right away in freshman year - it was definitely not glorious, working in the school cafeteria, and there were some terrible nights that I had no money for dinner and had to throw out enormous quantities of unpurchased food, but it taught me to work for my keep and also the value of money, because I knew how long it took me to earn it back."

- "Jobs on campus where I could study (working night desk at a girl's dorm, working day desk at a basketball dorm, working the info desk at the campus student center)."

3.) Developing a network of restorative relationships

- "I learned how to depend on people. I think most of us who have ever experienced foster care had to grow up real, real fast. We needed to learn to be independent and strong much earlier than most of our peers…

- "With age, we are all expected to become more and more independent and so it became even harder for me to ask for help.

- "I had to learn that I wasn’t perfect and that I couldn’t do everything by myself. My life became so frustrating and lonely and desperate at times that I would cry and then hate myself for crying."

- "Luckily, I have friends who are always reaching out for me and helping me when I don’t even ask for it. They wanted me to depend on them… and as I learned to depend on them, that’s when I realized that with dependence comes love. You can’t love a person if you can’t depend on him or her."

4.) Finding your roots and/or developing new ones

- "Try to keep your relationship (or reconnect) with your siblings. They are the only ones that are able to stand by your side and say yes, x, y and z happened and we made it through. Celebrate the triumph of making it out with a bunch of scratches (visible or not), but still having made it out."

- "I thank God for my friends… they have done so much for me. During the breaks when the dorms are closed, a number of people were willing to take me in. I don’t have a real permanent address and when I didn’t have any money to pay for rent some place, I still always had a place to stay, even during the summer. I am incredibly lucky."

- "I joined a fellowship and a church. To tell you the truth, I don’t even consider myself a Christian yet, but the relationships I’ve made in church and small group are truly special. I have never been so content with my life before, and it’s because of the people praying for me and loving me because they believe that God loves me."

5.) Making peace with the past

- "Acceptance, accept that x,y and z is what the situation is. Now what will you do about it? Sit and cry and be full of anger, pain, resentment or stand up and say I refuse to become another statistic. Give yourself time, but not too much time. This one was has been a tough one for me but I've slowly have begun to move on and accept that eh, what is is and I can't change the past..."

- "I went to therapy. It’s funny because I hated therapy when I was in foster care and it never worked for me. But healing finally began now that I was on my own. For years, I blamed myself for everything that happened through the years… I guess I needed to grow up a little to realize that I was only a child."

- "Forgiveness, plain and simple. You will never forget, but you need to forgive to move on. Otherwise you are like a ball of rubber bands about to pop."

- "I made amends with my biological parents recently. I needed to be at peace with them in order for me to move on. I needed to accept and even appreciate who they are, accept the past, accept the present… all this in order to hope for a better future."

- "I made good use of my experiences. I volunteer at a hospital and spend my time there mostly with children with cancer. I also joined a service club and have interacted with all sorts of people. I find these opportunities very rewarding and I feel that my experiences with diversity, my setbacks, my familiarity with loneliness and fear and wanting to be loved… has allowed me to relate to people better and really care for others."

What didn’t work for us:

1.) Constantly trying to rescue others

- "Trying to save people from their bad habits when they weren't willing to put in the work on their own behalf. I kept thinking that maybe they were like me, and needed someone to step in and give them a hand up. It's not always the case."

- "As the oldest child, I burdened myself to “save” my family. For the longest time, I had been carefully planning out what I would do once I was free and on my own… and when I couldn’t meet my expectations, I tormented myself for not being good enough or trying hard enough to save my brothers, who are still in foster care."

- "Bad choice in roommates: She stole from me, got us repeatedly evicted. Yet I thought only I could save her. I thought that because she was from the same group home that I had been, that we were the only ones who could help each other. I was 17 years old - and I was stupid."

- "Just because someone is in pain, it does not mean that staying with them even if you are miserable is your responsibility."

"If your lover controls your money, social life, friends, contact with family... i.e. you cannot do those things freely... it will stay that way until you do something to change it."

2.) Defining ourselves as unloveable

- "A common thing that I have found with other former foster kids is that we struggle with feeling loved, special or wanted; Always wondering or doubting whether we have some sort of meaning, value... a purpose."

- "Even if it's with a spouse, or extended family or with people that say they love you... you still always have that doubt in the back of your head. And because of feelings of abandonment and being "given up" on, I think that's one of the biggest struggles."

- "People will meet your standards. If you expect very little from others... i.e. little respect, little love, little compassion, they will meet your standards. If you expect love, respect and kindness, you will receive those things."

- "Everyone has shame in their hearts. It just doesn't always come from being unwanted, unloved, undesirable. Everyone has their pain; yours was just delivered in a different package."

3) Taking on more than we can handle

- "KNOW yourself and your limits and what stresses you are capable of handling and what stresses and situations that could arise that could screw you up more."

- "The pain from the emotions will hurt so bad at times where you feel like you can't breathe. Be prepared for that and make sure that you take care of yourself. Basically, you will have to be your own parent."

4.) Over-share or under-share

- "Be prepared to feel awkward and scramble to come up with something to say when someone asks you about your real family or where you came from."

5.) Trying to escape through drugs/alcohol

- "If getting high/drunk/etc. are the best things you look forward to in life, you need to figure out if you want to be a drug addict or alcoholic for the rest of your life. If not, it's time to start making a plan."

*Please note: These are insights shared by former foster children who are now current members of Foster Care Alumni of America.

Legal representation for young people in the child welfare system

The United States spends one hundred billion dollars each year on the protection of children. There are six million allegations of abuse and neglect annually, leading to approximately 1500 deaths each year.

An estimated 70% of children who enter the child welfare system wind up in long-term foster care until they are legally emancipated. Their childhood is largely spent going in and out of various placements, depending upon what court proceedings determine is in their “best interests.”

The American Bar Association defines a child’s attorney as: "a lawyer who provides legal services for a child and who owes the same duties of undivided loyalty, confidentiality, and competent representation to the child as is due to an adult client."

Children in the child welfare system have a vested interest in their personal safety, as well as a right to be provided with safe living conditions --- and these fundamental liberty interests are separate and distinct from the interests of parents, guardians or the state.

Unfortunately, children in abuse and neglect hearings often do not receive quality legal representation that allows them equal access to justice so that their voices are heard in a court of law.

- In 1967, the Supreme Court first recognized children’s right to counsel during legal proceedings.

- In 1974, Congress passed the Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), mandating that states appoint a guardian ad litem for children who are subject to abuse and neglect proceedings.

Court-appointed special advocates (CASA) and lay Guardians Ad Litem (GAL) can be valuable sources of support for young people, but they cannot substitute for independent counsel for the child.

- In 2006, First Star conducted a nationwide analysis of child representation laws, which revealed glaring anomalies in the legal representation provided for children.

According to First Star’s National Report Card on Legal Representation for Children, there are glaring anomalies in the legal representation provided for children.

While some locations do a good job, most do not, and the quality of assistance provided for children depends largely upon the zip code in which the child happens to live. In some cases, economically disadvantaged states do a better job than more affluent ones.

Meanwhile, because “Best Practices” are not shared with the vast majority of the country, it is as if they did not exist. Due to a lack of oversight and shared expertise, individual jurisdictions do not learn from the successes and failures of their peers.

Minimal direction by federal statutes has allowed states to interpret the law and construct their own models of practice. The duties and responsibilities of attorneys for children are not clearly defined. States don’t even use the same statutory language.

I agree with the authors of this study, who believe that each state should:
1.) Provide a competent, independent attorney for every child in child welfare proceedings.

2.) Mandate child advocacy training and hold child attorneys accountable

3.) Require that this attorney advocate for the child in a client-directed manner

4.) Give the child notice and allow the child to be present at legal proceedings

5.) Specify that juveniles have the right to continuous counsel by the same lawyer at all proceedings

I share their hope to initiate a national Call to Action, promoting laws to require consistency in providing trained, qualified, client-directed legal counsel to child victims throughout the nation.

We need to identify and highlight Best Practices across the nation regarding legislative, professional, judicial, sociological and governmental behavior towards abused and neglected children.

For more information, and to see how your state measures up, please visit: 

http://www.firststar.org/documents/Final_RTC_2nd_Edition.pdf

Sources:
First Star’s National Report Card on Legal Representation for Children, 2006.
Bob Fellmeth, Child Rights and Remedies, 2002.

The Unusual Suspects is a nonprofit organization of professional artists in Los Angeles that works with young people, ages 12-21, in the area's foster-care and juvenile-justice systems.

They provide 6-12-week youth performance workshops, during which volunteers help underserved kids from foster care and the juvenile justice system write and perform an original play.

These programs are provided for group homes, juvenile halls, gang intervention programs and youth residing in foster care.

Because the Los Angeles County Arts Commission approved the Unusual Suspects' curriculum and agreed that it meets the state's education standards for the visual and performing arts, participants in juvenile dentention facilities can receive community-service credit to reduce their probation time.

The Unusual Suspects also has an ever-expanding alumni program of young people mentoring one another and coaching each other’s transition back into the community.

Testimonials:

- "There are no gangs up here on this stage. We're a family. We've done some things we regret, and we have to stop killing each other." – Youth performer from the group’s first show at Central Juvenile Hall.

- "I was locked up in a juvenile-camp facility. The Unusual Suspects came to the camp and did a presentation. It was an improv, and I thought it was funny. I like humor. I was interested." - 17-year-old former resident of the Los Angeles County Probation Department's Camp Gonzalez, in Calabasas, California.

- "My high school did not have an arts program -- there was no theater, no space to dance, and no place to really write." – Alumna of the program.

- "A lot of the kids are shy, or some have a little chip on shoulder, for whatever reason. They don't know what to expect. What's great is seeing them come in with an attitude of 'I don't know why I'm here, and I don't care,' and then take on the responsibility of a whole show they wrote. It transforms them into leaders." – Richard Morgan, alumnus of the program who now works as paid program coordinator for the nonprofit organization.

Not only does this program support academic skills, such as literacy, theater education and public speaking, it increases social consciousness as well. Anger management skills are learned during the program. Youth participants who come from different races and gang affiliations must cooperate with one another in order for performances to be a success.

Racial tensions were the catalyst for the group's creation according to its founder, actress Laura Leigh Hughes. "It came out of the riots in Los Angeles in 1992. I wanted to try to do something about racial tension and racial intolerance. I've always felt that youths were affected the most by these issues, and I wanted to find a way to empower them and give them a voice."

The Unusual Suspects are currently seeking volunteers for upcoming youth performance workshops in Los Angeles and San Bernardino counties. All volunteers must attend an orientation and undergo a background check.

For more information, please visit: http://www.theunusualsuspects.org/

Sources:
Baedeker, Rob. There are no ganges up here on this stage: A Los Angeles theater group helps kids in the juvenile-justice and foster care create dramas of their own design.