I recently saw a Facebook post that struggling to ask for help from others is a trauma response. It got me thinking about the many situations that we as foster care youth and alumni have had to face alone…  

It is indeed true that:

• The inner dialogue of “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” is rooted in how we learned to survive life threatening situations.
  
  
• Learning to be independent helped us cope with abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment due to the behavior of others. 
  
  
• To trust is to be vulnerable to disappointment or betrayal, and independence can be a preemptive measure of protection.

So, what’s the answer?  

• Not blind trust. It is wise to be careful of who we trust, and to pay attention to their track record in terms of what it tells us about how much we can rely on them for. 
  
  
• Relationships thrive on communication and boundaries. 
  
  
• Communication can be complicated, and mapping out boundaries is hard work. 

My thoughts are unfinished about this… it’s definitely food for thought.