Showing posts with label culture of foster care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label culture of foster care. Show all posts
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Saturday, April 26, 2008
We don't want "your kind" around here
Photograph by Mike Tobias, Port Arthur NewsA group of Texas residents appear to be enforcing their own form of segregation, by protesting an all-male group home for elementary-age foster children.
The only "crime" that these children have committed is being abandoned and/or abused by their parents.
They are no more or less likely to cause problems than any other child.
My only concerns are about the all-male staff, and the fact that there will only be two staff members. The staff-child ratio needs to be revisited. Will the children be educated on-site, or (hopefully) attend the local elementary school?
I believe that former foster children should have a voice in the design of group home facilities.
I personally would advocate for both male and female staff members, both male and female residents (with separate sleeping quarters) and definitely more staff members than just two people.
I would also propose creative measure such as:
1. Church members being paired as "mentors" for each child in the group home, after being carefully screened to make sure these adults are safe. A child could spend time in their homes on Sunday afternoons.
2. Proactive community education: In all fairness, after reading through the comments, it does seem that there was a communications breakdown between the church and the community.
When establishing a group home, it is in the best interest of everyone involved - especially the children who undoubtedly feel rejected and stigmatized by these picket signs - to have open and honest communication.
If I were creating a group home, I would present the model at local schools and community meetings. I would strive to answer questions ahead of time, and to keep my answers consistent, regarding:
- How many children would be housed in the facility
- The ages and lack of criminal background
- The qualifications of staff
- The availability of counseling and support
Reading further into the comment section, it appears that community meetings were held and that they did address all of the above questions.
Which makes me wonder why that information was not included in the article, which only quoted sound-bytes from a man who was supposedly an "expert" on group homes... but as it turns out, his only expertise is in juvenile correctional facilities.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Too eager to label foster children
Photograph of Samara from CBS.com
This weekend, I watched Leslie Stahl's December interview titled: Lost and Found. The topic was reuniting foster foster children with their biological families.
As a former foster child, I watched the interviews with mixed emotions. I began to feel deep concern for the children being interviewed.
There can be a thin line between news reporting and exploitation. I call it 'the Drew Barrymore' syndrome. Most adults learn to define the boundaries of their levels of self-disclosure. But young people are more transparent - and that transparency can make them vulnerable. (Are there any incidents from your life as a teenager that you would not like for strangers to watch on TV?)
The first teenager to be interviewed was 13-year-old Samara, who had been in foster care for her entire life, and felt depressed (wouldn't you?) Every holiday that went by that she didn't have a family to spend with was painful for her.
Samara has recently been reunited with her mother through "Family Finding." They showed a clip of Samara and her mother on Oprah. The mother had a look of joy and rebirth on her face. Why not? She had been given grace; an unexpected gift, a lovely young daughter, a second chance.
But Samara's face was clouded by skepticism. Understandably. Over the years of spending holidays alone, of not having a mother around her, Samara has taught herself not to cry, not be vulnerable.
As the clip from Oprah is shown onscreen, Leslie Stahl comments on the fact that Samara seems to be finding it hard to look at her mother, how she keeps looking away. Stahl attributes it to Samara's "mental problems."
Mental problems? Not necessarily. Too often teens-in-care are pathologized by the "professionals" in their lives.
Try this: Have you ever found it difficult to look at someone whose actions have hurt you? Can it be hard to trust someone who has let you down? Rather than labeling Samara as a troubled young teenager, I see her as a person of strength and courage. She has made the choice to forgive her mother, and their reconciliation will be a process. Life is not a Hallmark movie. The credits have not yet rolled. She is 13 years old and it troubles me that for the first 13 years of her life she has been given drugs and labels, when all she really needed was a family and love.
On to the next two teenagers in this interview, siblings Beverly and Melvin. They were reunited with their father -- only to discover that he was an alcoholic, their mother had died from a drug overdose and that their father has a total of 10 children, none of whom he has cared for.
In their interview with Leslie Stahl, Melvin begins to label himself as "defiant" because of his reluctance to build a relationship with his long-estranged father. But the look on his face, and that of his sister, is not a look of defiance. It's disappointment.
Imagine if you had built up hopes about your long-lost father. How he would come back into your life with a reason for being gone for so long. He was... abducted by aliens... in the Secret Service... stranded on a desert island.
But, all the time he had been thinking of you, right? He had always been thinking of you. In that dream, your father isn't off fathering other children. He's not drowning his sorrows in a bottle.
When dreams die, we feel sadness and anger. We feel disappointment. That is a normal reaction to facing the rift between what is ideal and what is reality. Teenagers are idealists; they want adults to display perfection. It is hard to face our frailty, our humanity.
Melvin listened to his father's promises to "be there for them always" with an impassive expression on his face. That's not mental illness. It's emotional survival. There is a very real possibility that their father will be unable to fulfill his promise to Melvin and his sister, and they will be left alone again.
Source:
Stahl, Leslie. Lost and Found: Leslie Stahl on Efforts to Place Children Back With Their Families. CBS Evening News, 60 Minutes, Dec. 17, 2006.
As a former foster child, I watched the interviews with mixed emotions. I began to feel deep concern for the children being interviewed.
There can be a thin line between news reporting and exploitation. I call it 'the Drew Barrymore' syndrome. Most adults learn to define the boundaries of their levels of self-disclosure. But young people are more transparent - and that transparency can make them vulnerable. (Are there any incidents from your life as a teenager that you would not like for strangers to watch on TV?)
The first teenager to be interviewed was 13-year-old Samara, who had been in foster care for her entire life, and felt depressed (wouldn't you?) Every holiday that went by that she didn't have a family to spend with was painful for her.
Samara has recently been reunited with her mother through "Family Finding." They showed a clip of Samara and her mother on Oprah. The mother had a look of joy and rebirth on her face. Why not? She had been given grace; an unexpected gift, a lovely young daughter, a second chance.
But Samara's face was clouded by skepticism. Understandably. Over the years of spending holidays alone, of not having a mother around her, Samara has taught herself not to cry, not be vulnerable.
As the clip from Oprah is shown onscreen, Leslie Stahl comments on the fact that Samara seems to be finding it hard to look at her mother, how she keeps looking away. Stahl attributes it to Samara's "mental problems."
Mental problems? Not necessarily. Too often teens-in-care are pathologized by the "professionals" in their lives.
Try this: Have you ever found it difficult to look at someone whose actions have hurt you? Can it be hard to trust someone who has let you down? Rather than labeling Samara as a troubled young teenager, I see her as a person of strength and courage. She has made the choice to forgive her mother, and their reconciliation will be a process. Life is not a Hallmark movie. The credits have not yet rolled. She is 13 years old and it troubles me that for the first 13 years of her life she has been given drugs and labels, when all she really needed was a family and love.
On to the next two teenagers in this interview, siblings Beverly and Melvin. They were reunited with their father -- only to discover that he was an alcoholic, their mother had died from a drug overdose and that their father has a total of 10 children, none of whom he has cared for.
In their interview with Leslie Stahl, Melvin begins to label himself as "defiant" because of his reluctance to build a relationship with his long-estranged father. But the look on his face, and that of his sister, is not a look of defiance. It's disappointment.
Imagine if you had built up hopes about your long-lost father. How he would come back into your life with a reason for being gone for so long. He was... abducted by aliens... in the Secret Service... stranded on a desert island.
But, all the time he had been thinking of you, right? He had always been thinking of you. In that dream, your father isn't off fathering other children. He's not drowning his sorrows in a bottle.
When dreams die, we feel sadness and anger. We feel disappointment. That is a normal reaction to facing the rift between what is ideal and what is reality. Teenagers are idealists; they want adults to display perfection. It is hard to face our frailty, our humanity.
Melvin listened to his father's promises to "be there for them always" with an impassive expression on his face. That's not mental illness. It's emotional survival. There is a very real possibility that their father will be unable to fulfill his promise to Melvin and his sister, and they will be left alone again.
Source:
Stahl, Leslie. Lost and Found: Leslie Stahl on Efforts to Place Children Back With Their Families. CBS Evening News, 60 Minutes, Dec. 17, 2006.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Project Visitation reconnects siblings in foster care
Heii Anderson of Keiki Photography took this picture. Judge Browning is the gentleman in the red tie.
It is estimated that 80% of people living in the United States today have siblings. The sibling bond is one of the most lasting relationships most people have.
Siblings influence one other’s development in very important ways. When parents are neglectful or abusive, older siblings often voluntarily take on a quasi-parental role.
For many children, losing contact with their brothers and sisters is the most difficult part about being in foster care, because they have lost their entire family.
Research has demonstrated that siblings who are placed together in foster care tend to have fewer emotional and behavioral problems than those who are placed apart.
In Hawaii, Project Visitation was created to maintain sibling relationships by coordinating regular visits that give foster children an opportunity to spend time with their siblings and strengthen their bonds and connections to one another.
It is not known how many siblings are separated in foster care in Hawaii, but national statistics estimate the number at 75 percent.
Historical Background
In 2001, child abuse had reached unprecedented levels in Hawaii. Child protective service workers were overwhelmed by the large volume of complaints and investigations. In Oahu, cases rose from 130 to 200 a month and their sexual abuse caseload doubled.
90% of cases involved drug abuse, particularly crystal methamphetamine.
CPS workers felt as if they were under siege. At the time, there were only 184 child welfare workers statewide. Burnout and the lure of better-paying, less stressful jobs were wooing them elsewhere, leading to a high rate of staff turnover.
With all of these other things going on, facilitating sibling visits was not CPS workers’ first priority.
Judicial Involvement
Family Court Judge R. Mark Browning spearheaded Project Visitation. Whenever he gives a talk, he emphasizes the importance reuniting siblings who are placed in separate foster homes.
Established in April 2001, Project Visitation represents a joint effort between Volunteer Legal Services Hawaii, Na Keiki Law Center, the Family Court, Hawaii Foster Parents Association and the Department of Human Services.
The project started on a “shoestring budget.” It is now funded by the Hawaii Court Improvement Project, and has been assisted in its efforts by a $10,000 grant from the Weinberg Foundation.
“The Human Services Department "has kept the level of bureaucracy to an absolute minimum to allow this to go forward," Judge Murray says. “We want kids to have an opportunity to interact with each other.”
How does it work?
- Judges in Hawaii mandate visitation when siblings are separated
- Social workers refer cases of separated foster siblings to the program.
- Volunteers support this mission by bringing siblings together for monthly visits. Each volunteer dedicates 6 hours per month.
- The agency provides volunteers with resources, such as money, car seats, tickets, lunch vouchers, coupons or other items to offset volunteer expense
- The department loans out its eight-passenger vans for the visits
- Community organizations have also planned events for the children to participate in, such as magic shows, trips to the zoo, days at the beach and football games.
"It is such a model public-private collaboration. I can't speak enough about it," said Amy Tsark, Child Welfare Services administrator. "It really supports the foster kids without burdening the social workers."
Sources
Altonn, Helen. Program rebuilds family bonds of children separated: Project Visitation offers joint activities for children separated in the foster care system. Honolulu Star Bulletin, May 28, 2002.
Altonn, Helen. Rise in drug abuse, economics strains push isle child abuse levels to highs; officials say caseloads are overwhelming investigators. Honolulu Star Bulletin, Nov. 25, 2001.
Bank, Stephen and M.D. Kahn. The sibling bond. Basic Books, 2003.
Hawthorne, Lillian. Sisters and brothers all those years: Taking another look at the longest relationship in your life. VanderWyk & Burnham, 2003.
Schooler, Jayne. What parents need to know when siblings are separated. Bergin & Garvey, 2002.
It is estimated that 80% of people living in the United States today have siblings. The sibling bond is one of the most lasting relationships most people have.
Siblings influence one other’s development in very important ways. When parents are neglectful or abusive, older siblings often voluntarily take on a quasi-parental role.
For many children, losing contact with their brothers and sisters is the most difficult part about being in foster care, because they have lost their entire family.
Research has demonstrated that siblings who are placed together in foster care tend to have fewer emotional and behavioral problems than those who are placed apart.
In Hawaii, Project Visitation was created to maintain sibling relationships by coordinating regular visits that give foster children an opportunity to spend time with their siblings and strengthen their bonds and connections to one another.
It is not known how many siblings are separated in foster care in Hawaii, but national statistics estimate the number at 75 percent.
Historical Background
In 2001, child abuse had reached unprecedented levels in Hawaii. Child protective service workers were overwhelmed by the large volume of complaints and investigations. In Oahu, cases rose from 130 to 200 a month and their sexual abuse caseload doubled.
90% of cases involved drug abuse, particularly crystal methamphetamine.
CPS workers felt as if they were under siege. At the time, there were only 184 child welfare workers statewide. Burnout and the lure of better-paying, less stressful jobs were wooing them elsewhere, leading to a high rate of staff turnover.
With all of these other things going on, facilitating sibling visits was not CPS workers’ first priority.
Judicial Involvement
Family Court Judge R. Mark Browning spearheaded Project Visitation. Whenever he gives a talk, he emphasizes the importance reuniting siblings who are placed in separate foster homes.
Established in April 2001, Project Visitation represents a joint effort between Volunteer Legal Services Hawaii, Na Keiki Law Center, the Family Court, Hawaii Foster Parents Association and the Department of Human Services.
The project started on a “shoestring budget.” It is now funded by the Hawaii Court Improvement Project, and has been assisted in its efforts by a $10,000 grant from the Weinberg Foundation.
“The Human Services Department "has kept the level of bureaucracy to an absolute minimum to allow this to go forward," Judge Murray says. “We want kids to have an opportunity to interact with each other.”
How does it work?
- Judges in Hawaii mandate visitation when siblings are separated
- Social workers refer cases of separated foster siblings to the program.
- Volunteers support this mission by bringing siblings together for monthly visits. Each volunteer dedicates 6 hours per month.
- The agency provides volunteers with resources, such as money, car seats, tickets, lunch vouchers, coupons or other items to offset volunteer expense
- The department loans out its eight-passenger vans for the visits
- Community organizations have also planned events for the children to participate in, such as magic shows, trips to the zoo, days at the beach and football games.
"It is such a model public-private collaboration. I can't speak enough about it," said Amy Tsark, Child Welfare Services administrator. "It really supports the foster kids without burdening the social workers."
Sources
Altonn, Helen. Program rebuilds family bonds of children separated: Project Visitation offers joint activities for children separated in the foster care system. Honolulu Star Bulletin, May 28, 2002.
Altonn, Helen. Rise in drug abuse, economics strains push isle child abuse levels to highs; officials say caseloads are overwhelming investigators. Honolulu Star Bulletin, Nov. 25, 2001.
Bank, Stephen and M.D. Kahn. The sibling bond. Basic Books, 2003.
Hawthorne, Lillian. Sisters and brothers all those years: Taking another look at the longest relationship in your life. VanderWyk & Burnham, 2003.
Schooler, Jayne. What parents need to know when siblings are separated. Bergin & Garvey, 2002.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Youth Forum on Aging Out of Foster Care
Yesterday, I attended a youth forum in Stark County. Approximately 60 foster care youth were in attendence. Topics covered included: housing, college vs. working full-time, mentors and advocates, and independent living.
The video above is of a young man named Jeremy, performing a gospel rap song that he has created about his experiences in foster care. All this young man wants is a mentor -- and he hasn't found one yet.
Here are some of Jeremy's insightful comments during the forum:
-"One of our suggestions (about independent living classes) was 'timeliness of service, because it's way too late to ask us these questions after we've been in foster care for so long."
-"We're gonna go from foster care to just being flat broke."
-"Adults need to come and see us when we're doing something good, like sports or this forum, not just if we are bad or need counseling. Because everybody doesn't need counseling."
-"If I ever get a mentor, he shouldn't be lazy. I mean, I don't want to sit in an office and just talk, I want to do active things, like sports, and get to know someone that way."
Many of the older male teenagers at the forum seemed disillusioned. One young said that he had been in foster care since he was a baby and that his foster parents had flat-out told him that the odds were against his ever being adopted "because I was black, a boy and came from a bad family." They basically crushed his hopes early.
Another young man named Richard said, "We're just here to make it better for the next generation. I've been in foster care since I was three years old, and I'm 16 now. It ain't gonna happen for me."
I spent time after that session talking with Richard. He is sixteen years old, and thinks that his life is already over. I told him that I myself as a foster care alumna had lived several lifetimes since I was 16 years old. His life is not over. His cards are not all played out. Maybe he hasn't really had a chance to be a kid, but Richard is still very young and has many chances ahead of him.
Interestingly enough, there was an iPod raffle at the end of the forum, and Richard won the iPod! As he came up to collect his prize, I said to him, "The man without hope wins an iPod. There is plenty of hope for you, Richard."
Lottery of caseworkers: Two sisters with two different caseworkers attended the forum. The first caseworker was willing to take the older sister to visit five different colleges. The younger sister's caseworker refused to take her at all.
Suggestions made by the youth during the forum:
1.) Hands-on learning of independent living skills:
-Youth want the opportunity to live in an apartment for one week by themselves
-Would like to shadow a college student for a day, and see how they juggle school/work
2.) Early planning:
-Youth want to start visiting colleges during their sophomore year
-Upward Bound/Gear Up programs should serve more foster youth, not limit to high achievers
-Project Rebuild: Alternates one week of construction work, one week of education
3.) Don’t expect us to know your hidden rules:
-"In each placement, there are different rules/expectations, and we’re expected to know them"
-"In preparing for independent living, we should be making some of our own rules"
4.) Allow us more freedom:
-Foster youth go from total restriction to complete freedom, with no support
-Need opportunities to work, volunteer, participate in extra-curricular activities and spend the night at a friend’s house without having to go through so many channels
5.) Consider our need for transportation: The state should provide car insurance and allow foster care youth to get a driver’s license.
6.) If you want to connect with us, invest time:
-Would-be mentors should take teens out just to talk, or do a sports activity
-If the teen doesn’t open up right away, just be patient and consistent: invest the time
7.) One-stop shopping for our resources vs. misinformation/lack of information
8.) Let us evaluate foster parents/group home staff/caseworkers: They evaluate us.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Court Appointed Special Advocates
The primary purpose of CASA is to represent the best interest of the child. Court appointed special advocates visit the child's placement frequently, get to know the child, spend time ascertaining the facts -- and then come to court to share that information.
Four primary responsibilities of CASA volunteer:
1.) Investigate child's best interest
2.) Advocate (in court and with agencies) for that child and that child alone
3.) Facilitate an agreement between involved parties whenever possible
4.) Monitor the safety of the child's placement, and report back to court if that child is in need or in danger.
Benefits of CASA
Court appointed special advocates have one or two cases, whereas caseworkers and layers often have huge caseloads. So, not surprisingly, CASA volunteers visit the child's placement more frequently than social workers or lawyers.
Caseworkers represent their agency. Lawyers represent their firm. Because CASA workers are working for free, they are able to represent the child's best interest (ideally) without fear of financial reprisal.
It can be difficult for national organizations to maintain consistency on a local level. For this reason, CASA requires 30 hours of training at the onset, and then 12-15 hours of continued education each year.
You are not there to advocate for social services
Please be aware of this site: http://www.childadvocates.org/
The Houston organization, Child Advocates Inc., has a court-appointed volunteer program. However, these volunteers are encouraged to agree with and support the viewpoint of CPS.
Can you see how this is in direct violation of everything that CASA stands for?
Four primary responsibilities of CASA volunteer:
1.) Investigate child's best interest
2.) Advocate (in court and with agencies) for that child and that child alone
3.) Facilitate an agreement between involved parties whenever possible
4.) Monitor the safety of the child's placement, and report back to court if that child is in need or in danger.
Benefits of CASA
Court appointed special advocates have one or two cases, whereas caseworkers and layers often have huge caseloads. So, not surprisingly, CASA volunteers visit the child's placement more frequently than social workers or lawyers.
Caseworkers represent their agency. Lawyers represent their firm. Because CASA workers are working for free, they are able to represent the child's best interest (ideally) without fear of financial reprisal.
It can be difficult for national organizations to maintain consistency on a local level. For this reason, CASA requires 30 hours of training at the onset, and then 12-15 hours of continued education each year.
You are not there to advocate for social services
Please be aware of this site: http://www.childadvocates.org/
The Houston organization, Child Advocates Inc., has a court-appointed volunteer program. However, these volunteers are encouraged to agree with and support the viewpoint of CPS.
Can you see how this is in direct violation of everything that CASA stands for?
Friday, September 15, 2006
Foster care in the 'Land Down Under'
Foster care challenges exist on every continent
In Australia, it appears that the greatest challenge is the bureaucracy.
A national survey of Australian foster parents has found that 73% regard the attitude of bureaucrats and social workers as the "worst thing'' about fostering.
According to Freda Briggs, a child protection expert at the University of South Australia, "They are reminded frequently that these are the department's children and they are expected to provide physical care without becoming emotionally involved."
If Australian foster parents' views differ from the social workers, they are often accused of being too emotionally involved.
Glenda Lloyd, who has been the foster mother to over 100 children since 1979, quit the foster care system three weeks ago. She had punished a 13-year-old foster child by withholding pocket money and cell phone from the child -- and had been reprimanded for doing so by the department.
Another foster mother, Dilana, had a three-year-old in her care with a raging fever. When she changed the child's diaper, she saw evidence of sexual abuse.
Dilana's first instinct was to take the child to the doctor. According to foster care regulations, she had to ask permission from the NSW Department of Community Services. She made several calls and left messages. No one responded.
By morning, the little girl's temperature had soared to dangerous levels. Her body was limp in Dilana's arms.
So Dilana took the three-year-old to her family doctor.
When DOCS found out, Dilana reports, "They told me I was in big trouble. They said I could be charged with something. They told me -- and I'll never forget this -- I had abused her human rights.''
Deeming Dilana's actions inappropriate, DOCS workers came to her house thirty minutes after that phone call. They removed the child's toys, books and photographs, and carried the distraught three-year-old from the house.
Dilana and her husband tried to find out if the little girl who had been abruptly removed from their home had received medical help, but their questions were never answered.
Last year, the couple applied to adopt another Aboriginal girl, who had been born to a member of their extended family.
DOCS blocked the adoption, and charged that Dilana and her husband were not suitable parents. The child was given to a Chinese couple, and Dilana was forbidded to visit.
Dilana and her husband hired a lawyer. They assembled more than 20 references. They spent $20,000 on legal fees. In the end, they won.
Their lawyer, Michael Vassili, commented, "I was just stunned by the ferociousness, the bullying, of DOCS."
Caring, loving foster parents exist on every continent
Their efforts to advocate for their children in their care should be supported and valued. They should not have to fear retaliation for doing what is right.
Sources:
Overington, Caroline. Foster parents don't care much for social workers. The Australian,
Overington, Caroline. In strife for taking ill child to a doctor. The Australian, Sept. 11, 2006.
Overington, Caroline. Visit to doctor `abuses ill child's rights.' The Australian, Sept. 11, 2006.
In Australia, it appears that the greatest challenge is the bureaucracy.
A national survey of Australian foster parents has found that 73% regard the attitude of bureaucrats and social workers as the "worst thing'' about fostering.
According to Freda Briggs, a child protection expert at the University of South Australia, "They are reminded frequently that these are the department's children and they are expected to provide physical care without becoming emotionally involved."
If Australian foster parents' views differ from the social workers, they are often accused of being too emotionally involved.
Glenda Lloyd, who has been the foster mother to over 100 children since 1979, quit the foster care system three weeks ago. She had punished a 13-year-old foster child by withholding pocket money and cell phone from the child -- and had been reprimanded for doing so by the department.
Another foster mother, Dilana, had a three-year-old in her care with a raging fever. When she changed the child's diaper, she saw evidence of sexual abuse.
Dilana's first instinct was to take the child to the doctor. According to foster care regulations, she had to ask permission from the NSW Department of Community Services. She made several calls and left messages. No one responded.
By morning, the little girl's temperature had soared to dangerous levels. Her body was limp in Dilana's arms.
So Dilana took the three-year-old to her family doctor.
When DOCS found out, Dilana reports, "They told me I was in big trouble. They said I could be charged with something. They told me -- and I'll never forget this -- I had abused her human rights.''
Deeming Dilana's actions inappropriate, DOCS workers came to her house thirty minutes after that phone call. They removed the child's toys, books and photographs, and carried the distraught three-year-old from the house.
Dilana and her husband tried to find out if the little girl who had been abruptly removed from their home had received medical help, but their questions were never answered.
Last year, the couple applied to adopt another Aboriginal girl, who had been born to a member of their extended family.
DOCS blocked the adoption, and charged that Dilana and her husband were not suitable parents. The child was given to a Chinese couple, and Dilana was forbidded to visit.
Dilana and her husband hired a lawyer. They assembled more than 20 references. They spent $20,000 on legal fees. In the end, they won.
Their lawyer, Michael Vassili, commented, "I was just stunned by the ferociousness, the bullying, of DOCS."
Caring, loving foster parents exist on every continent
Their efforts to advocate for their children in their care should be supported and valued. They should not have to fear retaliation for doing what is right.
Sources:
Overington, Caroline. Foster parents don't care much for social workers. The Australian,
Overington, Caroline. In strife for taking ill child to a doctor. The Australian, Sept. 11, 2006.
Overington, Caroline. Visit to doctor `abuses ill child's rights.' The Australian, Sept. 11, 2006.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Sharing the Culture of Foster Care
Much of what I have been sharing lately has been inspired by my time at the FCAA summit, and this is no exception.
As foster alumni, we discussed the stigma of foster care.
Foster Stereotypes:
-Lack of credibility: foster parents /social workers assuming that we were liars
-Assumptions made at school that we were promiscuous
-Labeled as manipulators or troublemakers
Pathologizing Foster Behavior
In terms of mental health, what might be termed 'normal' behavior for a child growing up with family is often pathologized or criminalized for the foster child.
"Normal" Example: A parent dies. Child withdraws, shows grief. Parents take child to see child psychologist. Behavior is termed 'normal grief process." Child is given time to heal.
Foster example: Child loses entire family at once by entering foster care. Expressions of grief such as anger or sorrow are diagnosed as 'rage' and 'depression.' These labels follow the child throughout foster placements, because they are a permanent part of the case file.
Foster children deserve time to heal from entering (or even exiting) foster care. Survivor behavior looks strange, when viewed out of context. However, for many foster children, lack of trust (for example) is logical, rather than an issue of ingratitude.
Danger of Labels
Depending on how much time is spent with a child, or how the adult interacts with the child, their perceptions of that child can be skewed. In that case, the initial assumption is written down in the case file.
It then becomes a permanent stigma, when it comes to finding foster placements for the child. It can also evolve into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Perception Becomes Reality
“Everyone told me I was bad, so I was bad.”
Actual Foster Care Experience
As foster alumni, we do not view ourselves collectively as victims. We are not, as one commercial portrays us, a cute little unwanted puppy in the window, waiting for a home.
Rather, we are resilient. We are survivors. Our lives have required us to be courageous. When you cannot escape the thing that you fear, you are forced to face that thing you fear.
Part of being a foster alumni means having to prove yourself. A familiar feeling to me, in high school, college and graduate school, was feeling that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else. Things that came easily to other people did not come as easily to me.
Things I Had to Work to Obtain
-A place to stay during the holidays. (Now that I'm married and have two stepchildren, I know I won't be alone. And I know I'll get presents. Those things matter deeply to me).
-Shared memories. (Not having people around to retell childhood and teenage stories together can leave a person feeling rootless and unsure of their own identity).
-Connections with other people. (Part of that was others; part was me. After leaving foster care, it's a process of learning not to view yourself as different. Self-isolation is common).
Consequences and Risks
In general, foster children and foster alumni operate by a different set of rules and consequences. And they have a lot more paperwork!
Here are two examples:
1. Let's say you're in college and you do a poor job of budgeting. Are you:
a.) Now homeless?
b.) Able to call Mom or Dad to bail you out?
2. Let's say you're a teenager and you act out. Will you:
a.) Be transferred to a totally different place to live?
b.) Be grounded for a month?
Foster teens in care learn that their mistakes have powerful ramifications. When they enter the adult world, they often don't know all the resources that are available.
What they do know, and what I knew at that stage in my life, is that there is no safety net for them. That is a scary way to enter the adult world.
Postcards: An FCAA Initiative
-“I reinvent myself daily to deal with my reality”
-“There’s more to me than just my case file.”
-“Group home is the new name for orphanage.”
All of the above soundbytes are quoted from postcards created by foster alumni. This is a creative way to share the culture of foster care. Here is the link to this resource: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/fcaa_postcardgallery.jsp
My favorite one is: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/imgs/4b.jpg
We each have strengths and weaknesses -- and often they boil down to the same quality, viewed in different lights, working for us or against us. What do we choose to call them? It's a question of terminology: strong versus belligerent, emotional versus passionate.
As foster alumni, we discussed the stigma of foster care.
Foster Stereotypes:
-Lack of credibility: foster parents /social workers assuming that we were liars
-Assumptions made at school that we were promiscuous
-Labeled as manipulators or troublemakers
Pathologizing Foster Behavior
In terms of mental health, what might be termed 'normal' behavior for a child growing up with family is often pathologized or criminalized for the foster child.
"Normal" Example: A parent dies. Child withdraws, shows grief. Parents take child to see child psychologist. Behavior is termed 'normal grief process." Child is given time to heal.
Foster example: Child loses entire family at once by entering foster care. Expressions of grief such as anger or sorrow are diagnosed as 'rage' and 'depression.' These labels follow the child throughout foster placements, because they are a permanent part of the case file.
Foster children deserve time to heal from entering (or even exiting) foster care. Survivor behavior looks strange, when viewed out of context. However, for many foster children, lack of trust (for example) is logical, rather than an issue of ingratitude.
Danger of Labels
Depending on how much time is spent with a child, or how the adult interacts with the child, their perceptions of that child can be skewed. In that case, the initial assumption is written down in the case file.
It then becomes a permanent stigma, when it comes to finding foster placements for the child. It can also evolve into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Perception Becomes Reality
“Everyone told me I was bad, so I was bad.”
Actual Foster Care Experience
As foster alumni, we do not view ourselves collectively as victims. We are not, as one commercial portrays us, a cute little unwanted puppy in the window, waiting for a home.
Rather, we are resilient. We are survivors. Our lives have required us to be courageous. When you cannot escape the thing that you fear, you are forced to face that thing you fear.
Part of being a foster alumni means having to prove yourself. A familiar feeling to me, in high school, college and graduate school, was feeling that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else. Things that came easily to other people did not come as easily to me.
Things I Had to Work to Obtain
-A place to stay during the holidays. (Now that I'm married and have two stepchildren, I know I won't be alone. And I know I'll get presents. Those things matter deeply to me).
-Shared memories. (Not having people around to retell childhood and teenage stories together can leave a person feeling rootless and unsure of their own identity).
-Connections with other people. (Part of that was others; part was me. After leaving foster care, it's a process of learning not to view yourself as different. Self-isolation is common).
Consequences and Risks
In general, foster children and foster alumni operate by a different set of rules and consequences. And they have a lot more paperwork!
Here are two examples:
1. Let's say you're in college and you do a poor job of budgeting. Are you:
a.) Now homeless?
b.) Able to call Mom or Dad to bail you out?
2. Let's say you're a teenager and you act out. Will you:
a.) Be transferred to a totally different place to live?
b.) Be grounded for a month?
Foster teens in care learn that their mistakes have powerful ramifications. When they enter the adult world, they often don't know all the resources that are available.
What they do know, and what I knew at that stage in my life, is that there is no safety net for them. That is a scary way to enter the adult world.
Postcards: An FCAA Initiative
-“I reinvent myself daily to deal with my reality”
-“There’s more to me than just my case file.”
-“Group home is the new name for orphanage.”
All of the above soundbytes are quoted from postcards created by foster alumni. This is a creative way to share the culture of foster care. Here is the link to this resource: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/fcaa_postcardgallery.jsp
My favorite one is: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/imgs/4b.jpg
We each have strengths and weaknesses -- and often they boil down to the same quality, viewed in different lights, working for us or against us. What do we choose to call them? It's a question of terminology: strong versus belligerent, emotional versus passionate.
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