Is a child is four times more likely to die in the Texas foster care system than outside it?
Yes, according to Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn, when she released data last Friday on foster care deaths, poisonings, rapes and pregnancies, saying, "Many children are in more abusive situations now than they were before the state intervened."
-Between 2003 and 2005, the number of children in foster care increased 24%.
-Meanwhile, the number of deaths in foster care between 2003-2005 increased 60%. According to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, 30 children died in foster care in 2003, 38 in 2004 and 48 children died in foster care in 2005.
Strayhorn alleged that the Health and Human Services Commission and the governor tried to block her attempts to gather more information about children in foster care.
Strayhorn began her investigation in 2004 after releasing a report on the foster care system called "Forgotten Children." It was at that time that she noticed that an alarming number of poisonings, rapes and pregnancies were taking place within the Texas foster care system.
In 2004:
- 100 Texas foster children were treated for poisoning due to medications they had received while in foster care.
- 63 Texas foster children received medical treatment because of rape occurring within the foster care system.
- 142 Texas foster children gave birth while in foster care.
Death in foster care:
- Two young men died at the Star Ranch residential treatment facility near Kerrville.
- A 12-year-old died last December after being restrained by a staffer
- A foster child drowned in a creek during a May outing.
"The state is supposed to be protecting our forgotten children, but in all too many cases these children are taken from one abusive situation and placed in another abusive situation," said Strayhorn.
Representatives from the Citizens Commission on Human Rights Texas, Justice for Children and Judicial Watch are calling on the Texas Health and Human Services Commission to release additional foster care data.
Sources
-Hughes, Polly Ross. Comptroller reports foster care abuse; Data show deaths increasing but agency calls comparison unfair. Houston Chronicle, Houston, TX, June 24, 2006: pg. 1.
-MacLaggan, Corrie. Strayhorn: Foster care in crisis. Auston American Statesman, Austin TX: June 24, 2006: p. B1.
-Moritz, John. Strayhorn seeks changes in foster care. Star Telegram Austin Bureau.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Youth Presentation at Statewide Foster Parent Conference
I have just returned from a statewide foster parent conference at Deer Creek, Ohio.
My friend Gayle and I led two presentations each:
1.) She presented to foster parents and social workers, in a session titled "Independent Living is a Lie."
2.) We each presented a youth workshop. I took the younger youth, while Gayle worked with teens.
3.) I gave a lunchtime presentation to an audience of 175 people. It was very sweet, because two foster children who had attended my youth workshop came running up to hug me afterward, "You did a great job, Miss Lisa!"
Youth Workshops
In this posting, I will focus on the youth workshops. With the teens, Gayle led a dramatic workshop, based on a class in issue-based drama that she had taken at OSU. Her twelve teenagers broke up into smaller groups to act out the issue and risks of running away.
In my workshop, I had 14 younger children and one adult helper. I had created a powerpoint presentation, sharing my foster care story with the children, explaining the power of stories and inviting them each to write their own personal "mission statement," with their goals for the future.
Art first exists in the artist's mind. Books first exist in the author's mind. There would be no buildings without the architect's blueprint. I explained to the children that their futures would need planning and determination.
My college mission statement was to work my way through school and graduate school, and to learn how to love and be loved.
Acheiving goals is not a race. It took over 20 years for me to accomplish a family of my own. I was 26 years old before I had the money to buy my first car. I was 30 when my husband and I moved into our first house, which we designed ourselves.
Important goals often take years to accomplish. The first step is to make a plan for yourself and work towards it. The time it takes is a worthwhile investment. What could be more important that your future?
When the children heard that, they were excited to write down their personal goals. Education, house, family, permanency... Much was revealed by what they wrote. I told them to think big and aim high. I also reminded them that these goals change over time.
Attribution Theory and Foster Children
One thing that I found very interesting about my youth workshop relates to attribution theory:
-In a study, boys and girls were given two puzzles. The first was impossible to solve; the second was super-easy.
-The girls blamed themselves for not solving the first puzzle, and said the second was too easy.
-The boys claimed that the first puzzle must be broken. They were great at puzzles, as proven by their success at the second puzzle.
I wondered how foster youth might respond... and at this conference, I found out. Every one of the 14 foster children in my conference blamed themselves for both their failure to solve the first puzzle and their success at the second.
It was all up to them. Think of what a weight that must be to carry.
Book Giveaway
We did not have much of a budget this year. Ohio Family Care Association had planned the conference, and due to funding concerns, they had not budgeted in an honorarium for speakers or our conference supplies. Gayle and I shared a hotel room with the woman who planned the conference and her two adopted children.
Because of the lack of funding, I supplied my own equipment (powerpoint, laptop) and purchased books for children and teenagers out of my own money.
I went to Half Price Books, and purchased:
1 copy of "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson
3 copies of "Dicey's Song" by Cynthia Voigt
1 copy of "Hidden Talents" by David Lubar
2 copy of "Won't Know Till I Get There" by Walter Dean Myers
1 copy of "Where the Lilies Bloom"
2 copies of "Homecoming" by Cynthia Voigt
1 copy of "Solitary Blue" by Cynthia Voigt
2 copies of "Bud Not Buddy" by Christopher Paul Curtis
3 copies of "Anne of Green Gables" by L.M. Montgomery
1 easy-reader copy of "Anne of Green Gables"
1 copy of "Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett
1 copy of "Pinballs" by Betsy Byars
4 copies of "Great Gilly Hopkins" by Katherine Paterson
All things considered, I was very happy that the two Half Price Books I visited had so many options of juvenile books that deal with foster care and foster care-related issues. However, I would have been happier if there had been more multicultural options and more books with male characters.
Next year, I plan to seek funding myself, and strategically plan out my book purchases. I wish there were more Picture Books for foster children... (not just adoption).
Ohio Foster Youth Deserve Their Own Conference
Gayle and I have an ultimate goal, which is to have a concurrent foster youth conference. It would take place at the same location and time as the adult conference. We believe that foster youth deserve their own conference, centered in on their needs.
We discovered that there once was a separate foster youth conference in Ohio, but it "dried up, due to lack of funding." Gayle and I plan to seek funding for 2007. We might contact Foster Care Alumni of America, and ask if they would consider this as a pilot project for FCAA of Ohio.
My friend Gayle and I led two presentations each:
1.) She presented to foster parents and social workers, in a session titled "Independent Living is a Lie."
2.) We each presented a youth workshop. I took the younger youth, while Gayle worked with teens.
3.) I gave a lunchtime presentation to an audience of 175 people. It was very sweet, because two foster children who had attended my youth workshop came running up to hug me afterward, "You did a great job, Miss Lisa!"
Youth Workshops
In this posting, I will focus on the youth workshops. With the teens, Gayle led a dramatic workshop, based on a class in issue-based drama that she had taken at OSU. Her twelve teenagers broke up into smaller groups to act out the issue and risks of running away.
In my workshop, I had 14 younger children and one adult helper. I had created a powerpoint presentation, sharing my foster care story with the children, explaining the power of stories and inviting them each to write their own personal "mission statement," with their goals for the future.
Art first exists in the artist's mind. Books first exist in the author's mind. There would be no buildings without the architect's blueprint. I explained to the children that their futures would need planning and determination.
My college mission statement was to work my way through school and graduate school, and to learn how to love and be loved.
Acheiving goals is not a race. It took over 20 years for me to accomplish a family of my own. I was 26 years old before I had the money to buy my first car. I was 30 when my husband and I moved into our first house, which we designed ourselves.
Important goals often take years to accomplish. The first step is to make a plan for yourself and work towards it. The time it takes is a worthwhile investment. What could be more important that your future?
When the children heard that, they were excited to write down their personal goals. Education, house, family, permanency... Much was revealed by what they wrote. I told them to think big and aim high. I also reminded them that these goals change over time.
Attribution Theory and Foster Children
One thing that I found very interesting about my youth workshop relates to attribution theory:
-In a study, boys and girls were given two puzzles. The first was impossible to solve; the second was super-easy.
-The girls blamed themselves for not solving the first puzzle, and said the second was too easy.
-The boys claimed that the first puzzle must be broken. They were great at puzzles, as proven by their success at the second puzzle.
I wondered how foster youth might respond... and at this conference, I found out. Every one of the 14 foster children in my conference blamed themselves for both their failure to solve the first puzzle and their success at the second.
It was all up to them. Think of what a weight that must be to carry.
Book Giveaway
We did not have much of a budget this year. Ohio Family Care Association had planned the conference, and due to funding concerns, they had not budgeted in an honorarium for speakers or our conference supplies. Gayle and I shared a hotel room with the woman who planned the conference and her two adopted children.
Because of the lack of funding, I supplied my own equipment (powerpoint, laptop) and purchased books for children and teenagers out of my own money.
I went to Half Price Books, and purchased:
1 copy of "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson
3 copies of "Dicey's Song" by Cynthia Voigt
1 copy of "Hidden Talents" by David Lubar
2 copy of "Won't Know Till I Get There" by Walter Dean Myers
1 copy of "Where the Lilies Bloom"
2 copies of "Homecoming" by Cynthia Voigt
1 copy of "Solitary Blue" by Cynthia Voigt
2 copies of "Bud Not Buddy" by Christopher Paul Curtis
3 copies of "Anne of Green Gables" by L.M. Montgomery
1 easy-reader copy of "Anne of Green Gables"
1 copy of "Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett
1 copy of "Pinballs" by Betsy Byars
4 copies of "Great Gilly Hopkins" by Katherine Paterson
All things considered, I was very happy that the two Half Price Books I visited had so many options of juvenile books that deal with foster care and foster care-related issues. However, I would have been happier if there had been more multicultural options and more books with male characters.
Next year, I plan to seek funding myself, and strategically plan out my book purchases. I wish there were more Picture Books for foster children... (not just adoption).
Ohio Foster Youth Deserve Their Own Conference
Gayle and I have an ultimate goal, which is to have a concurrent foster youth conference. It would take place at the same location and time as the adult conference. We believe that foster youth deserve their own conference, centered in on their needs.
We discovered that there once was a separate foster youth conference in Ohio, but it "dried up, due to lack of funding." Gayle and I plan to seek funding for 2007. We might contact Foster Care Alumni of America, and ask if they would consider this as a pilot project for FCAA of Ohio.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Foster Children & Eating Disorders, Part 1
Children in foster care often have very serious issues around food. This might take the form of stealing or hoarding food, refusing to eat certain foods or exhibiting an eating disorder.
Behavior does not come out of a vacuum. Rather, it stems from personal experiences and thought patterns. People behave in ways that appear logical from their perspective, even if that behavior might seem strange or even harmful to other people.
Eating Disorders and Early Insecurity
Dr. Alfonso Troisi and his colleagues have recently published a study measuring the relationship between insecure attachment/early separation anxiety and a negative body image for women. The outcome was a strong association between the two.
Children who lack a safe and secure foundation in infancy are more vulnerable to eating disorders. They are more likely to have weight concerns and low self-esteem than children with secure attachments.
Insecure Attachment
According to attachment theory, if a child is secure in his or her relationship with a caregiver, that child will feel free to explore, because he or she is confident that a secure base exists, to return to in times of need.
The secure child explores freely while the mother is present, engages with strangers, is visibly upset to see mother depart, recovers and then is happy to see her return.
The insecure child lacks that self-assurance. When a primary caregiver disappears, he or she goes through a series of three stages of emotional reactions.
1.) Protest: The baby cries and refuses to be soothed by others.
2.) Despair: The baby is sad and passive.
3.) Detachment: The baby actively disregards and avoids the parent if the parent returns.
Attachment and Self Worth
Children who have been consistently loved by their caregivers develop a perception of themselves as "loveable," whereas children who are neglected and/or rejected by a caregiver often report feeling "unworthy of love."
Early connection with the caregiver makes it possible for a child to develop a model of themselves as loveable and valued. It reassures that child that there are loving, trustworthy people available and that the world is a safe place.
Interestingly, the most damaging style of attachment is neither anxious nor avoidant, but disorganized. Avoiding pain and worrying are both active strategies for dealing with the world. Children with disorganized attachment view human interactions as erratic and unpredictable. It's difficult to plan a response to perceived chaos.
Foster Children & Eating Disorders
I plan to contact Dr. Troisi, and invite him to do a study on foster children and/or foster alumni. My rationale is the following:
-Who has more first-hand experience with separation anxiety than a foster child?
-Sexual and physical abuse are also associated with both eating disorders and foster care placement.
-Eating disorders are often an issue of control.
-Is it surprising that some foster children might use eating disorders as a way to cope with change, trauma and stress?
Sources
-Ainsworth, M. D. S., et al (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
-Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. London: Hogarth Press and the Institute of Psycho-Analysis.
-Hernandez, Jeanne (1995). "The Concurrence of Eating Disorders with Histories of Child Abuse among Adolescents." Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 4, 3: 73-85.
-Holmes, J. (1993) John Bowlby and Attachment Theory. Routledge;
-Holmes, J. (2001) The Search for the Secure Base: Attachment Theory and Psychotherapy; Brunner-Routledge;
-Miller, Katherine J. (1996). "Prevalence and Process of Disclosure of Childhood Sexual Abuse among Eating-Disordered Women." In Sexual Abuse and Eating Disorders, ed. Mark F. Schwartz & Leigh Cohn, 36-51. New York, NY: Brunner/Mazel.
-Troisi, A., et al (2006). Body dissatisfaction in women with eating disorders:
relationship to early separation anxiety and insecure attachment. Psychosomatic Medicine, 68(3): 449-5.
Behavior does not come out of a vacuum. Rather, it stems from personal experiences and thought patterns. People behave in ways that appear logical from their perspective, even if that behavior might seem strange or even harmful to other people.
Eating Disorders and Early Insecurity
Dr. Alfonso Troisi and his colleagues have recently published a study measuring the relationship between insecure attachment/early separation anxiety and a negative body image for women. The outcome was a strong association between the two.
Children who lack a safe and secure foundation in infancy are more vulnerable to eating disorders. They are more likely to have weight concerns and low self-esteem than children with secure attachments.
Insecure Attachment
According to attachment theory, if a child is secure in his or her relationship with a caregiver, that child will feel free to explore, because he or she is confident that a secure base exists, to return to in times of need.
The secure child explores freely while the mother is present, engages with strangers, is visibly upset to see mother depart, recovers and then is happy to see her return.
The insecure child lacks that self-assurance. When a primary caregiver disappears, he or she goes through a series of three stages of emotional reactions.
1.) Protest: The baby cries and refuses to be soothed by others.
2.) Despair: The baby is sad and passive.
3.) Detachment: The baby actively disregards and avoids the parent if the parent returns.
Attachment and Self Worth
Children who have been consistently loved by their caregivers develop a perception of themselves as "loveable," whereas children who are neglected and/or rejected by a caregiver often report feeling "unworthy of love."
Early connection with the caregiver makes it possible for a child to develop a model of themselves as loveable and valued. It reassures that child that there are loving, trustworthy people available and that the world is a safe place.
Interestingly, the most damaging style of attachment is neither anxious nor avoidant, but disorganized. Avoiding pain and worrying are both active strategies for dealing with the world. Children with disorganized attachment view human interactions as erratic and unpredictable. It's difficult to plan a response to perceived chaos.
Foster Children & Eating Disorders
I plan to contact Dr. Troisi, and invite him to do a study on foster children and/or foster alumni. My rationale is the following:
-Who has more first-hand experience with separation anxiety than a foster child?
-Sexual and physical abuse are also associated with both eating disorders and foster care placement.
-Eating disorders are often an issue of control.
-Is it surprising that some foster children might use eating disorders as a way to cope with change, trauma and stress?
Sources
-Ainsworth, M. D. S., et al (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
-Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. London: Hogarth Press and the Institute of Psycho-Analysis.
-Hernandez, Jeanne (1995). "The Concurrence of Eating Disorders with Histories of Child Abuse among Adolescents." Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 4, 3: 73-85.
-Holmes, J. (1993) John Bowlby and Attachment Theory. Routledge;
-Holmes, J. (2001) The Search for the Secure Base: Attachment Theory and Psychotherapy; Brunner-Routledge;
-Miller, Katherine J. (1996). "Prevalence and Process of Disclosure of Childhood Sexual Abuse among Eating-Disordered Women." In Sexual Abuse and Eating Disorders, ed. Mark F. Schwartz & Leigh Cohn, 36-51. New York, NY: Brunner/Mazel.
-Troisi, A., et al (2006). Body dissatisfaction in women with eating disorders:
relationship to early separation anxiety and insecure attachment. Psychosomatic Medicine, 68(3): 449-5.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Foster Children and Hoarding
I would like to start this blog entry with an embarassing - but, in retrospect, rather funny - story... When the man who is now my husband and I were dating, he looked in my kitchen cupboards and noticed something strange.
I did not own dishes, nor glasses. Rather, I had shelves filled with plastic cups; the kind you get at fast food establishments. I also had a huge assortment of empty cottage cheese containers. Lots of cups. Many, many empty cottage cheese containers. This was what I ate and drank from, every day.
The man who would one day become my husband looked at me and said, "Lisa, you are hoarding."
I said, "What are you talking about? What is that?"
Hoarding
The clinical definition of 'hoarding' is: "the acquisition of, and failure to discard, a large number of possessions that appear to be of useless or of limited value."
Why Would People Hoard?
- Because the items are perceived as valuable
- The items provide a source of security
- Fear of forgetting or losing items
- Constant need to collect and keep things
- Obtaining love not found from people
- Fear others will obtain their personal information
- Inability to organize
- Self neglect
- Stressful life events
Children often communicate needs through behavior. A foster child might hoard food, for example, due to early neglect and a fear of being hungry.
The fictional book "Money Hungry" by Sharon Flake tells the story of a young girl who is obsessed by earning and accummulating money. What first appears as greed begins to make sense when the reader learns that the protagonist and her mother were once homeless. By hoarding money, this young lady is making certain that she can provide for her mother, if the situation ever arises again.
How to Deal With Hoarding
This behavior does not come out of a vacuum. Rather, it is an adaptive response to deprivation.
For a foster parent, who has just taken in a child who hoards good, a plastic bowl with a tight fitting lid may be the answer. As the child adjusts to the new placement, this will allow him to regulate his supply of food and assure him that food is available. The lid will keep out odor and insects.
As trust increases, the need to cling to an alternative food source might decrease.
Don't Overreact
Above all, I would encourage people not to "pathologize" the hoarding. I am a firm believer that there is a reason for behavior - it might not make sense to outsiders, but in some way it seems logical to the person displaying that behavior.
Do not rush to a diagnosis. Don't assume that hoarding indicates that the person in question has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Try not to afix a label on a child, teenager or adult too quickly.
After all, compulsive hoarding was originally diagnosed as a psychological disorder that most frequently affects the elderly. It was described as "accumulation of useless possessions that clutter the person’s living space, often creates complex legal and social problems for the hoarder."
Think about it from the elderly person's point of view: What were they doing? Trying to hold onto memories. Attempting to relive the past. Treasuring momentos. Is that behavior pathological? Or normal?
Empathy
Viewing behavior within the context of the person who is displaying it is vitally important. Empathy has been defined as "understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives."
If you were to visit my house today, you would see dishes and glasses. I no longer collect plastic containers. Yet I am as sane now as I was when my husband met me. What has changed is the fact that I am assured that I am financially secure enough that I can afford normal household items.
Source
Hoarding fact sheet. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health.
I did not own dishes, nor glasses. Rather, I had shelves filled with plastic cups; the kind you get at fast food establishments. I also had a huge assortment of empty cottage cheese containers. Lots of cups. Many, many empty cottage cheese containers. This was what I ate and drank from, every day.
The man who would one day become my husband looked at me and said, "Lisa, you are hoarding."
I said, "What are you talking about? What is that?"
Hoarding
The clinical definition of 'hoarding' is: "the acquisition of, and failure to discard, a large number of possessions that appear to be of useless or of limited value."
Why Would People Hoard?
- Because the items are perceived as valuable
- The items provide a source of security
- Fear of forgetting or losing items
- Constant need to collect and keep things
- Obtaining love not found from people
- Fear others will obtain their personal information
- Inability to organize
- Self neglect
- Stressful life events
Children often communicate needs through behavior. A foster child might hoard food, for example, due to early neglect and a fear of being hungry.
The fictional book "Money Hungry" by Sharon Flake tells the story of a young girl who is obsessed by earning and accummulating money. What first appears as greed begins to make sense when the reader learns that the protagonist and her mother were once homeless. By hoarding money, this young lady is making certain that she can provide for her mother, if the situation ever arises again.
How to Deal With Hoarding
This behavior does not come out of a vacuum. Rather, it is an adaptive response to deprivation.
For a foster parent, who has just taken in a child who hoards good, a plastic bowl with a tight fitting lid may be the answer. As the child adjusts to the new placement, this will allow him to regulate his supply of food and assure him that food is available. The lid will keep out odor and insects.
As trust increases, the need to cling to an alternative food source might decrease.
Don't Overreact
Above all, I would encourage people not to "pathologize" the hoarding. I am a firm believer that there is a reason for behavior - it might not make sense to outsiders, but in some way it seems logical to the person displaying that behavior.
Do not rush to a diagnosis. Don't assume that hoarding indicates that the person in question has OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Try not to afix a label on a child, teenager or adult too quickly.
After all, compulsive hoarding was originally diagnosed as a psychological disorder that most frequently affects the elderly. It was described as "accumulation of useless possessions that clutter the person’s living space, often creates complex legal and social problems for the hoarder."
Think about it from the elderly person's point of view: What were they doing? Trying to hold onto memories. Attempting to relive the past. Treasuring momentos. Is that behavior pathological? Or normal?
Empathy
Viewing behavior within the context of the person who is displaying it is vitally important. Empathy has been defined as "understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives."
If you were to visit my house today, you would see dishes and glasses. I no longer collect plastic containers. Yet I am as sane now as I was when my husband met me. What has changed is the fact that I am assured that I am financially secure enough that I can afford normal household items.
Source
Hoarding fact sheet. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Foster Care & Statutory Rape
I recently spoke with a former foster child, who is now a college-educated young woman. She revealed to me that, when she was 16 years old, her foster father raped her. He made a bet with her, and when she won, he "rewarded" her with alcohol.
I asked her if charges had been filed. She responded that her social worker knew that sex had taken place, but assumed that it was consensual. That was how the incident was documented in her case files.
I pressed on, "But it can't be considered consensual. That's impossible. You were sixteen and he was an adult. Legally, you were a child and unable to consent to this act with him."
In my opinion, that social worker should be held accountable for her severe lapse in judgement. I offered to help to legally pursue this matter. However, this young woman has not had enough time to heal. She is not now, and does not know if she will ever be emotionally ready to prosecute.
I told her that I would respect her decision, but remain available if she ever needed my support. Having had a similar experience at the same age, I found myself wanting to protect and defend her. But -- to tell the truth, I never pressed charges, either.
Statutory Rape
Rape is a charge that can be difficult to prove. If there were witnesses present, in most cases, the rape would not take place. Proving rape can be even more difficult if the victim is a foster child (remember the labels and stigmas discussed in my previous blog entry).
Laws vary widely in their definition of statutory rape and the legal age of consent. In Virginia, for example, carnal knowledge of a 13-14 year old is a Class 4 felony, while carnal knowledge of a 15-17 year old is a class 1 misdemeanor. (Strange distinction).
The rationale behind a statutory rape charge is that a young person, while biologically mature enough to desire intercourse, is not mature enough to make wise sexual decisions. This makes the young person vulnerable to an adult who tries to manipulate, deceive or coerce them.
It's also important to realize that minors are legally, economically and socially unequal to adults. They lack full legal rights. Typically, they are economically dependent wards of their legal guardians. Think of the implications for a young person in foster care.
Promiscuity Defense
The most common defense against a charge of statutory rape is the 'promiscuity defense,' demontrating that the girl has had other sexual partners.
Why would this make a difference?
As Michelle Oberman explains, "At its core, the promiscuity defense reflects a belief that, by virtue of multiple sexual partners, girls become less vulnerable to coercion, and in essence gain the capacity to consent to sex... (as if) there is no longer any compelling need for protective measures for the sexually experienced child."
In contrast, Oberman believes such promiscuity signals a history of vulnerability, rather than worldliness. She argues that, if it were true that girls were powerless until they lost their virginity, society would encourage them to have sex at a younger age.
The promiscuity defense also seems to state that, if a girl is not a virgin, any man alive has the right to have carnal knowledge of her. If she has willingly consented in the past, is she now denied the legal right to say no?
Coming of Age As A Young Woman
Michelle Oberman has asserted that, while both boys and girls share the crisis of adolescence, they experience it in different ways. Young men might seek pleasure and experimentation, while young women might be more motivated by a desire for emotional closeness and attention.
For young women, the physical changes of adolescences often represent a loss of control:
-Their body is changing before their eyes.
-Men around them begin to express desire.
-They begin to see themselves through the eyes of others.
-They measure themselves against impossible ideals.
To experience the physical changes of puberty within the instability of foster care is challenging for a young woman. It makes her vulnerable... emotionally, physically and sexually.
Sadly, there are older men in this world who take advantage of that kind of vulnerability.
Source:
Oberman, Michlle. Turning girls into women: Re-evaluating modern statutory rape law. The Journal of Criminal Law and Criminology, 85 (1994).
Virginia Department of Health website: http://www.vahealth.org/civp/sexualviolence/varapelaws/laws_rape.asp
I asked her if charges had been filed. She responded that her social worker knew that sex had taken place, but assumed that it was consensual. That was how the incident was documented in her case files.
I pressed on, "But it can't be considered consensual. That's impossible. You were sixteen and he was an adult. Legally, you were a child and unable to consent to this act with him."
In my opinion, that social worker should be held accountable for her severe lapse in judgement. I offered to help to legally pursue this matter. However, this young woman has not had enough time to heal. She is not now, and does not know if she will ever be emotionally ready to prosecute.
I told her that I would respect her decision, but remain available if she ever needed my support. Having had a similar experience at the same age, I found myself wanting to protect and defend her. But -- to tell the truth, I never pressed charges, either.
Statutory Rape
Rape is a charge that can be difficult to prove. If there were witnesses present, in most cases, the rape would not take place. Proving rape can be even more difficult if the victim is a foster child (remember the labels and stigmas discussed in my previous blog entry).
Laws vary widely in their definition of statutory rape and the legal age of consent. In Virginia, for example, carnal knowledge of a 13-14 year old is a Class 4 felony, while carnal knowledge of a 15-17 year old is a class 1 misdemeanor. (Strange distinction).
The rationale behind a statutory rape charge is that a young person, while biologically mature enough to desire intercourse, is not mature enough to make wise sexual decisions. This makes the young person vulnerable to an adult who tries to manipulate, deceive or coerce them.
It's also important to realize that minors are legally, economically and socially unequal to adults. They lack full legal rights. Typically, they are economically dependent wards of their legal guardians. Think of the implications for a young person in foster care.
Promiscuity Defense
The most common defense against a charge of statutory rape is the 'promiscuity defense,' demontrating that the girl has had other sexual partners.
Why would this make a difference?
As Michelle Oberman explains, "At its core, the promiscuity defense reflects a belief that, by virtue of multiple sexual partners, girls become less vulnerable to coercion, and in essence gain the capacity to consent to sex... (as if) there is no longer any compelling need for protective measures for the sexually experienced child."
In contrast, Oberman believes such promiscuity signals a history of vulnerability, rather than worldliness. She argues that, if it were true that girls were powerless until they lost their virginity, society would encourage them to have sex at a younger age.
The promiscuity defense also seems to state that, if a girl is not a virgin, any man alive has the right to have carnal knowledge of her. If she has willingly consented in the past, is she now denied the legal right to say no?
Coming of Age As A Young Woman
Michelle Oberman has asserted that, while both boys and girls share the crisis of adolescence, they experience it in different ways. Young men might seek pleasure and experimentation, while young women might be more motivated by a desire for emotional closeness and attention.
For young women, the physical changes of adolescences often represent a loss of control:
-Their body is changing before their eyes.
-Men around them begin to express desire.
-They begin to see themselves through the eyes of others.
-They measure themselves against impossible ideals.
To experience the physical changes of puberty within the instability of foster care is challenging for a young woman. It makes her vulnerable... emotionally, physically and sexually.
Sadly, there are older men in this world who take advantage of that kind of vulnerability.
Source:
Oberman, Michlle. Turning girls into women: Re-evaluating modern statutory rape law. The Journal of Criminal Law and Criminology, 85 (1994).
Virginia Department of Health website: http://www.vahealth.org/civp/sexualviolence/varapelaws/laws_rape.asp
Friday, June 09, 2006
Sharing the Culture of Foster Care
Much of what I have been sharing lately has been inspired by my time at the FCAA summit, and this is no exception.
As foster alumni, we discussed the stigma of foster care.
Foster Stereotypes:
-Lack of credibility: foster parents /social workers assuming that we were liars
-Assumptions made at school that we were promiscuous
-Labeled as manipulators or troublemakers
Pathologizing Foster Behavior
In terms of mental health, what might be termed 'normal' behavior for a child growing up with family is often pathologized or criminalized for the foster child.
"Normal" Example: A parent dies. Child withdraws, shows grief. Parents take child to see child psychologist. Behavior is termed 'normal grief process." Child is given time to heal.
Foster example: Child loses entire family at once by entering foster care. Expressions of grief such as anger or sorrow are diagnosed as 'rage' and 'depression.' These labels follow the child throughout foster placements, because they are a permanent part of the case file.
Foster children deserve time to heal from entering (or even exiting) foster care. Survivor behavior looks strange, when viewed out of context. However, for many foster children, lack of trust (for example) is logical, rather than an issue of ingratitude.
Danger of Labels
Depending on how much time is spent with a child, or how the adult interacts with the child, their perceptions of that child can be skewed. In that case, the initial assumption is written down in the case file.
It then becomes a permanent stigma, when it comes to finding foster placements for the child. It can also evolve into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Perception Becomes Reality
“Everyone told me I was bad, so I was bad.”
Actual Foster Care Experience
As foster alumni, we do not view ourselves collectively as victims. We are not, as one commercial portrays us, a cute little unwanted puppy in the window, waiting for a home.
Rather, we are resilient. We are survivors. Our lives have required us to be courageous. When you cannot escape the thing that you fear, you are forced to face that thing you fear.
Part of being a foster alumni means having to prove yourself. A familiar feeling to me, in high school, college and graduate school, was feeling that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else. Things that came easily to other people did not come as easily to me.
Things I Had to Work to Obtain
-A place to stay during the holidays. (Now that I'm married and have two stepchildren, I know I won't be alone. And I know I'll get presents. Those things matter deeply to me).
-Shared memories. (Not having people around to retell childhood and teenage stories together can leave a person feeling rootless and unsure of their own identity).
-Connections with other people. (Part of that was others; part was me. After leaving foster care, it's a process of learning not to view yourself as different. Self-isolation is common).
Consequences and Risks
In general, foster children and foster alumni operate by a different set of rules and consequences. And they have a lot more paperwork!
Here are two examples:
1. Let's say you're in college and you do a poor job of budgeting. Are you:
a.) Now homeless?
b.) Able to call Mom or Dad to bail you out?
2. Let's say you're a teenager and you act out. Will you:
a.) Be transferred to a totally different place to live?
b.) Be grounded for a month?
Foster teens in care learn that their mistakes have powerful ramifications. When they enter the adult world, they often don't know all the resources that are available.
What they do know, and what I knew at that stage in my life, is that there is no safety net for them. That is a scary way to enter the adult world.
Postcards: An FCAA Initiative
-“I reinvent myself daily to deal with my reality”
-“There’s more to me than just my case file.”
-“Group home is the new name for orphanage.”
All of the above soundbytes are quoted from postcards created by foster alumni. This is a creative way to share the culture of foster care. Here is the link to this resource: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/fcaa_postcardgallery.jsp
My favorite one is: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/imgs/4b.jpg
We each have strengths and weaknesses -- and often they boil down to the same quality, viewed in different lights, working for us or against us. What do we choose to call them? It's a question of terminology: strong versus belligerent, emotional versus passionate.
As foster alumni, we discussed the stigma of foster care.
Foster Stereotypes:
-Lack of credibility: foster parents /social workers assuming that we were liars
-Assumptions made at school that we were promiscuous
-Labeled as manipulators or troublemakers
Pathologizing Foster Behavior
In terms of mental health, what might be termed 'normal' behavior for a child growing up with family is often pathologized or criminalized for the foster child.
"Normal" Example: A parent dies. Child withdraws, shows grief. Parents take child to see child psychologist. Behavior is termed 'normal grief process." Child is given time to heal.
Foster example: Child loses entire family at once by entering foster care. Expressions of grief such as anger or sorrow are diagnosed as 'rage' and 'depression.' These labels follow the child throughout foster placements, because they are a permanent part of the case file.
Foster children deserve time to heal from entering (or even exiting) foster care. Survivor behavior looks strange, when viewed out of context. However, for many foster children, lack of trust (for example) is logical, rather than an issue of ingratitude.
Danger of Labels
Depending on how much time is spent with a child, or how the adult interacts with the child, their perceptions of that child can be skewed. In that case, the initial assumption is written down in the case file.
It then becomes a permanent stigma, when it comes to finding foster placements for the child. It can also evolve into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Perception Becomes Reality
“Everyone told me I was bad, so I was bad.”
Actual Foster Care Experience
As foster alumni, we do not view ourselves collectively as victims. We are not, as one commercial portrays us, a cute little unwanted puppy in the window, waiting for a home.
Rather, we are resilient. We are survivors. Our lives have required us to be courageous. When you cannot escape the thing that you fear, you are forced to face that thing you fear.
Part of being a foster alumni means having to prove yourself. A familiar feeling to me, in high school, college and graduate school, was feeling that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else. Things that came easily to other people did not come as easily to me.
Things I Had to Work to Obtain
-A place to stay during the holidays. (Now that I'm married and have two stepchildren, I know I won't be alone. And I know I'll get presents. Those things matter deeply to me).
-Shared memories. (Not having people around to retell childhood and teenage stories together can leave a person feeling rootless and unsure of their own identity).
-Connections with other people. (Part of that was others; part was me. After leaving foster care, it's a process of learning not to view yourself as different. Self-isolation is common).
Consequences and Risks
In general, foster children and foster alumni operate by a different set of rules and consequences. And they have a lot more paperwork!
Here are two examples:
1. Let's say you're in college and you do a poor job of budgeting. Are you:
a.) Now homeless?
b.) Able to call Mom or Dad to bail you out?
2. Let's say you're a teenager and you act out. Will you:
a.) Be transferred to a totally different place to live?
b.) Be grounded for a month?
Foster teens in care learn that their mistakes have powerful ramifications. When they enter the adult world, they often don't know all the resources that are available.
What they do know, and what I knew at that stage in my life, is that there is no safety net for them. That is a scary way to enter the adult world.
Postcards: An FCAA Initiative
-“I reinvent myself daily to deal with my reality”
-“There’s more to me than just my case file.”
-“Group home is the new name for orphanage.”
All of the above soundbytes are quoted from postcards created by foster alumni. This is a creative way to share the culture of foster care. Here is the link to this resource: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/fcaa_postcardgallery.jsp
My favorite one is: http://www.fostercarealumni.org/imgs/4b.jpg
We each have strengths and weaknesses -- and often they boil down to the same quality, viewed in different lights, working for us or against us. What do we choose to call them? It's a question of terminology: strong versus belligerent, emotional versus passionate.
Monday, June 05, 2006
From Fear to Fascination: Polar Reactions to Trauma
Foster Females & Sexual Trauma
A friend of mine wrote me recently. She had been working with two foster teenagers, both of whom had experienced a sexual assault. Their reactions seemed to be polar opposites. One frequently indulged in promiscuous behavior, and the other deeply feared physical intimacy.
My friend observed that, Marital intimacy is so complex; especially when you add in abuse and the foster care culture. I wish there were one simple thing I could tell them (and myself I suppose) to just have a "normal" view of intimacy and sex.
These two extreme reactions are very common.
Forged by Fire
Picture this painful scenario... A child is forever damaged by fire. This same terrible event happens to two young women. One reacts by avoiding fire at all costs. The other becomes inordinately fascinated by fire, leading some to speculate that she might be a pyromaniac.
Both survivors are ruled by their fascination and fear of the force that almost destroyed them. Neither of these two women can see the middle ground between the two extreme reactions. They might even bounce from one extreme to another.
(I apologize for the timing of this analogy. I have wracked my brain, and I cannot come up with any other comparison that captures the essence of sexual damage so aptly. If you think of one - please tell me).
A disruptive, traumatic experience, such as a sexual assault, wrecks double damage upon the adolescent female:
1.) It has the potential to deeply impact their understanding of sexuality, love and relationships.
2.) It has a profound effect on their adult behaviors regarding physical and emotional intimacy.
Fear
One external reaction is fear and avoidance. Sex becomes something to be feared. Sexual situations, and even humor, might trigger post-traumatic stress disorder.
Internally, the young woman is shouldering trauma-related guilt and shame. Was it her fault? Is she 'the sort of person' to whom these things are bound to happen?
Fascination
Upon closer inspection, the 'fascination' response isn't that different than the response born of fear.
Sexual addiction also involves guilt and shame. By acting out sexually, the young woman might be reliving the guilt she experienced after the rape. What is she thinking? "This is how I can have power." "This is what I deserve."
Acting out in itself can be a form of emotion-avoidance. The fear can be experienced as a rush or a high. Sexuality can become a drug to escape painful thoughts or feelings.
Healing & Balance
What then? Is there hope for the female survivor of rape, sexual assault or sexual abuse? Can sex ever be a way to connect with another human being, rather than to 'numb out'? Can that sort of intimacy be experienced, or will it forever be overshadowed by fear?
From my personal experience, I believe that progress in this area is possible.
It's not short and simple. It's not quick and easy. It requires time, hard work, honesty, and discernment in choosing trustworthy friends.
Here are some of the strategies that researchers (and I) have found to be the most effective:
Personal choices: Taking responsibility for unwise decisions. Choosing self-protection, rather than self-destruction. Finding liberation through forgiveness (of self and others), self-respect, self-control and by seeking insights and awareness.
Involvement with others: Seeking out a healthy group of people who can provide validation and acceptance. Experiencing love and nurturing. Having friends to encourage progress and celebrate accomplishments.
Seeking accurate perceptions of self and others: "As a man thinks in his heart, so he is."
-Self-perception: Having a sane, healthy view of self.
-Perception of men: I could write an entire blog entry on this issue.
-Perception of sexuality.
-Perception of relationships.
Some people might find what they need to heal in a support group. Others might work through painful issues with a trusted counselor. Still others find a church group or a close-knit community that meets at least some of their needs.
As my friend observed, foster care exacerbates the wounds from this type of traumatic experience. Repetitive abandonment and displacement increases self-blame. She, I and several of our fellow foster alumni would like to see more research and therapeutic progress in this area. In the meantime, we are committed to supporting those within our circle of influence and seeking health and balance for both them and ourselves.
Sources:
Kaltman, Stacey, et al. Psychological impact of types of sexual trauma among college
women. Journal of Traumatic Stress; Oct2005, Vol. 18 Issue 5, p547-555.
Street, Amy, et al. Impact of childhood traumatic events, trauma-related guilt, and
avoidant coping strategies on PTSD symptoms in female survivors of
domestic violence. Journal of Traumatic Stress; Jun2005, Vol. 18 Issue 3, p245-252.
Woodward, Clare, et al. Positive change processes and post-traumatic growth in people
who have experienced childhood abuse: Understanding vehicles of change. Psychology & Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice; Sep2003, Vol. 76 Issue 3, p267-283.
A friend of mine wrote me recently. She had been working with two foster teenagers, both of whom had experienced a sexual assault. Their reactions seemed to be polar opposites. One frequently indulged in promiscuous behavior, and the other deeply feared physical intimacy.
My friend observed that, Marital intimacy is so complex; especially when you add in abuse and the foster care culture. I wish there were one simple thing I could tell them (and myself I suppose) to just have a "normal" view of intimacy and sex.
These two extreme reactions are very common.
Forged by Fire
Picture this painful scenario... A child is forever damaged by fire. This same terrible event happens to two young women. One reacts by avoiding fire at all costs. The other becomes inordinately fascinated by fire, leading some to speculate that she might be a pyromaniac.
Both survivors are ruled by their fascination and fear of the force that almost destroyed them. Neither of these two women can see the middle ground between the two extreme reactions. They might even bounce from one extreme to another.
(I apologize for the timing of this analogy. I have wracked my brain, and I cannot come up with any other comparison that captures the essence of sexual damage so aptly. If you think of one - please tell me).
A disruptive, traumatic experience, such as a sexual assault, wrecks double damage upon the adolescent female:
1.) It has the potential to deeply impact their understanding of sexuality, love and relationships.
2.) It has a profound effect on their adult behaviors regarding physical and emotional intimacy.
Fear
One external reaction is fear and avoidance. Sex becomes something to be feared. Sexual situations, and even humor, might trigger post-traumatic stress disorder.
Internally, the young woman is shouldering trauma-related guilt and shame. Was it her fault? Is she 'the sort of person' to whom these things are bound to happen?
Fascination
Upon closer inspection, the 'fascination' response isn't that different than the response born of fear.
Sexual addiction also involves guilt and shame. By acting out sexually, the young woman might be reliving the guilt she experienced after the rape. What is she thinking? "This is how I can have power." "This is what I deserve."
Acting out in itself can be a form of emotion-avoidance. The fear can be experienced as a rush or a high. Sexuality can become a drug to escape painful thoughts or feelings.
Healing & Balance
What then? Is there hope for the female survivor of rape, sexual assault or sexual abuse? Can sex ever be a way to connect with another human being, rather than to 'numb out'? Can that sort of intimacy be experienced, or will it forever be overshadowed by fear?
From my personal experience, I believe that progress in this area is possible.
It's not short and simple. It's not quick and easy. It requires time, hard work, honesty, and discernment in choosing trustworthy friends.
Here are some of the strategies that researchers (and I) have found to be the most effective:
Personal choices: Taking responsibility for unwise decisions. Choosing self-protection, rather than self-destruction. Finding liberation through forgiveness (of self and others), self-respect, self-control and by seeking insights and awareness.
Involvement with others: Seeking out a healthy group of people who can provide validation and acceptance. Experiencing love and nurturing. Having friends to encourage progress and celebrate accomplishments.
Seeking accurate perceptions of self and others: "As a man thinks in his heart, so he is."
-Self-perception: Having a sane, healthy view of self.
-Perception of men: I could write an entire blog entry on this issue.
-Perception of sexuality.
-Perception of relationships.
Some people might find what they need to heal in a support group. Others might work through painful issues with a trusted counselor. Still others find a church group or a close-knit community that meets at least some of their needs.
As my friend observed, foster care exacerbates the wounds from this type of traumatic experience. Repetitive abandonment and displacement increases self-blame. She, I and several of our fellow foster alumni would like to see more research and therapeutic progress in this area. In the meantime, we are committed to supporting those within our circle of influence and seeking health and balance for both them and ourselves.
Sources:
Kaltman, Stacey, et al. Psychological impact of types of sexual trauma among college
women. Journal of Traumatic Stress; Oct2005, Vol. 18 Issue 5, p547-555.
Street, Amy, et al. Impact of childhood traumatic events, trauma-related guilt, and
avoidant coping strategies on PTSD symptoms in female survivors of
domestic violence. Journal of Traumatic Stress; Jun2005, Vol. 18 Issue 3, p245-252.
Woodward, Clare, et al. Positive change processes and post-traumatic growth in people
who have experienced childhood abuse: Understanding vehicles of change. Psychology & Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice; Sep2003, Vol. 76 Issue 3, p267-283.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Erikson & Foster Care
While I was at the Foster Care Alumni of America's May Summit, I mentioned the challenges inherent in trying to establish a movement by foster care alumni.
Specifically, we are asking people who have learned distrust, independence and isolation to trust, connect and commit. As foster alumni members discussed policies, strategies and best practices for FCAA, we had to learn to listen to one another with an attitude of openness.
It was a difficult transition from being the "Lone Ranger."
This applies also in the area of marriage. By making a 'lifetime commitment,' a former foster child who has learned not to trust is required to entrust their very soul to another person. A person who might betray them, abandon them or abuse them, as their parents did...
Erikson's '8 stages of man' has significant relevance to foster care:
Stage 1, Trust vs. Mistrust
Stage 2, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Stage 3, Initiative vs. Guilt
Stage 4, Industry vs. Inferiority
Stage 5, Identity vs. Role Confusion
Stage 6, Intimacy vs. Isolation
Stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation
Stage 8, Integrity vs. Despair
Regarding foster alumni, I am going to focus on the sixth stage: "intimacy vs. isolation." Several participants at the Seattle FCAA summit, including myself, agreed that this stage is particularly challenging.
Several of us mentioned that, after experiencing problems early in our marriage, the simplest option appeared to be, "Why not just leave?" Leaving is what we know; what we are familiar with; what we have experienced throughout our entire lives. So, why stick around?
One participant confided to me that on her ten-year anniversary, she told her husband, "I've finally decided that I'm in this for keeps." He was quite relieved to hear it. I have a similar story of my own.
Can marital intimacy be enjoyed by the former foster child?
Many barriers often impede this:
1.) Fear and confusion regarding physical intimacy. If the person has experienced abuse, particularly sexual abuse or rape, physical intimacy can be overshadowed by fear or a deep sense of shame.
Or, the person might try to face their fears by heading in the opposite direction: sexual addiction; using sex to "numb out" rather than to connect with another person.
2.) Fragile sense of self. Foster alumni are often plagued with a sense of self-doubt. We truly haven't had the freedom to make mistakes because the consequences for those mistakes were often blown out of proportion. What might be viewed as 'normal' teenage risk-taking for other teens often sent us reeling into a different foster placement.
In addition, moving around frequently makes it difficult to build a rock-solid identity. To please foster placement #5 might require different tactics than pleasing foster placements #2, 3 and 4. Staff or foster parents might perceive you differently, and you find your behavior changing as a result.
In foster care, adapting to each new placement is vital to survival. But, along the way, you might wonder, "Who am I, anyway?" And, as we know, dating someone else when you don't know who you are is fertile ground for codependence.
3.) No roots or safety net. Let's say a young woman ages out of foster care. She's confused about intimacy. She has a fragile sense of self-worth. The first guy she attracts turns out to be abusive. They enter into a codependent relationship. What then?
Will she leave? What if she has become emotionally or financially dependent on him? If she summons up the courage to leave him, where will she live? If she is isolated, who is there in her life to give her wise counsel and say, "Leave this jerk. You deserve better - whether you believe it or not."
Not her father, she doesn't have one. Not her brother, they were separated. If she is very lucky, she might have established a safety net of trustworthy friends. If not, she is on her own.
Foster alumni are at a disadvantage due to their lack of roots. If you were uprooted from living with your parents, separated from your siblings and shuttled from one placement to another, with whom can you share your stories?
Even now, listening to my husband and stepdaughters, I am amazed at the shared history between them. It is something that I have never had.
4.) Distrusting their partner. If you are a former foster child, must your partner win your trust over and over again? At what point will you stop testing him or her?
Perhaps the distrust comes from something your partner has done. You just found out that the love of your life is imperfect. What if his fallibility leads him to do something horrible - like betraying you?
Maybe you think this person must be crazy for loving you. Over the years in foster care and afterward, you've developed a sense of inferiority about yourself. Perhaps your low sense of self-worth manifests itself in body dysmorphia or eating disorders. Or, maybe you just dump the other person before they get the chance to disappoint you.
Intimacy versus Isolation for Foster Alumni
Foster children grow up feeling powerless. After aging out of foster care, independence offers us power. Think of what first comes to mind when you hear the word "emancipation." No one can hurt us anymore. No one can dump us anymore. We are on our own authority.
To entrust yourself to another person requires a leap of faith that the person will love you. It assumes the fact that you realize that you are loveable. To give that much power to another person, after a lifetime of rejection, is scary.
Remember the scene in the movie "Good Will Hunting" where Matt Damon sabotages his relationship with Minnie Dryver? Where might he have ended up if he hadn't chosen to take that rat-trap of a car and drive out to reconcile with her at the end?
Several of us at the summit could relate with Matt Damon's character. But most of us had one thing in common - we were married. We had taken the risk... and with that leap of faith, we found out that we did have (relational) wings.
Attachment patterns, once developed, tend to persist. Patterns only change if experiences change. One of my follow-up plans from the FCAA summit is collaborate with others to develop and lead presentations on this topic for teenagers and young adults aging out of foster care.
Specifically, we are asking people who have learned distrust, independence and isolation to trust, connect and commit. As foster alumni members discussed policies, strategies and best practices for FCAA, we had to learn to listen to one another with an attitude of openness.
It was a difficult transition from being the "Lone Ranger."
This applies also in the area of marriage. By making a 'lifetime commitment,' a former foster child who has learned not to trust is required to entrust their very soul to another person. A person who might betray them, abandon them or abuse them, as their parents did...
Erikson's '8 stages of man' has significant relevance to foster care:
Stage 1, Trust vs. Mistrust
Stage 2, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Stage 3, Initiative vs. Guilt
Stage 4, Industry vs. Inferiority
Stage 5, Identity vs. Role Confusion
Stage 6, Intimacy vs. Isolation
Stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation
Stage 8, Integrity vs. Despair
Regarding foster alumni, I am going to focus on the sixth stage: "intimacy vs. isolation." Several participants at the Seattle FCAA summit, including myself, agreed that this stage is particularly challenging.
Several of us mentioned that, after experiencing problems early in our marriage, the simplest option appeared to be, "Why not just leave?" Leaving is what we know; what we are familiar with; what we have experienced throughout our entire lives. So, why stick around?
One participant confided to me that on her ten-year anniversary, she told her husband, "I've finally decided that I'm in this for keeps." He was quite relieved to hear it. I have a similar story of my own.
Can marital intimacy be enjoyed by the former foster child?
Many barriers often impede this:
1.) Fear and confusion regarding physical intimacy. If the person has experienced abuse, particularly sexual abuse or rape, physical intimacy can be overshadowed by fear or a deep sense of shame.
Or, the person might try to face their fears by heading in the opposite direction: sexual addiction; using sex to "numb out" rather than to connect with another person.
2.) Fragile sense of self. Foster alumni are often plagued with a sense of self-doubt. We truly haven't had the freedom to make mistakes because the consequences for those mistakes were often blown out of proportion. What might be viewed as 'normal' teenage risk-taking for other teens often sent us reeling into a different foster placement.
In addition, moving around frequently makes it difficult to build a rock-solid identity. To please foster placement #5 might require different tactics than pleasing foster placements #2, 3 and 4. Staff or foster parents might perceive you differently, and you find your behavior changing as a result.
In foster care, adapting to each new placement is vital to survival. But, along the way, you might wonder, "Who am I, anyway?" And, as we know, dating someone else when you don't know who you are is fertile ground for codependence.
3.) No roots or safety net. Let's say a young woman ages out of foster care. She's confused about intimacy. She has a fragile sense of self-worth. The first guy she attracts turns out to be abusive. They enter into a codependent relationship. What then?
Will she leave? What if she has become emotionally or financially dependent on him? If she summons up the courage to leave him, where will she live? If she is isolated, who is there in her life to give her wise counsel and say, "Leave this jerk. You deserve better - whether you believe it or not."
Not her father, she doesn't have one. Not her brother, they were separated. If she is very lucky, she might have established a safety net of trustworthy friends. If not, she is on her own.
Foster alumni are at a disadvantage due to their lack of roots. If you were uprooted from living with your parents, separated from your siblings and shuttled from one placement to another, with whom can you share your stories?
Even now, listening to my husband and stepdaughters, I am amazed at the shared history between them. It is something that I have never had.
4.) Distrusting their partner. If you are a former foster child, must your partner win your trust over and over again? At what point will you stop testing him or her?
Perhaps the distrust comes from something your partner has done. You just found out that the love of your life is imperfect. What if his fallibility leads him to do something horrible - like betraying you?
Maybe you think this person must be crazy for loving you. Over the years in foster care and afterward, you've developed a sense of inferiority about yourself. Perhaps your low sense of self-worth manifests itself in body dysmorphia or eating disorders. Or, maybe you just dump the other person before they get the chance to disappoint you.
Intimacy versus Isolation for Foster Alumni
Foster children grow up feeling powerless. After aging out of foster care, independence offers us power. Think of what first comes to mind when you hear the word "emancipation." No one can hurt us anymore. No one can dump us anymore. We are on our own authority.
To entrust yourself to another person requires a leap of faith that the person will love you. It assumes the fact that you realize that you are loveable. To give that much power to another person, after a lifetime of rejection, is scary.
Remember the scene in the movie "Good Will Hunting" where Matt Damon sabotages his relationship with Minnie Dryver? Where might he have ended up if he hadn't chosen to take that rat-trap of a car and drive out to reconcile with her at the end?
Several of us at the summit could relate with Matt Damon's character. But most of us had one thing in common - we were married. We had taken the risk... and with that leap of faith, we found out that we did have (relational) wings.
Attachment patterns, once developed, tend to persist. Patterns only change if experiences change. One of my follow-up plans from the FCAA summit is collaborate with others to develop and lead presentations on this topic for teenagers and young adults aging out of foster care.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
In My Shoes: Assisting Teenagers in Foster Care
Another participant in the FCAA Summit was Christa Drake. She has been part of the alumni movement since 1999, when she was the first former foster child to participate in the Casey Family Programs' community resource council.
In My Shoes
In July 2003, Christa assisted in launching "In My Shoes," the first foster care alumni project in Arizona. This nonprofit organization was created to help foster teenagers (16 and17 years old) successfully transition to adulthood.
Youth in care are matched with foster alumni, who assist them in attaining the skills and information that they need in order to live independently. Participants are empowered to advocate and become leaders within their communities.
To find out more about "In My Shoes," please visit:
http://www.inmyshoesinc.org/
Stones in the Road
Christa Drake is very passionate about her work. From talking with her on a personal level, I was able to ascertain that she has faced concerns and obstacles along the way...
Some of these challenges have included:
-Liability for foster youth behavior when she is transporting them from one location to another. Teenagers in general are prone to risktaking behavior, and foster teens no less so. Christa is very conscientious about this, since one error in judgement could jeopardize the program.
-Feeling that her presence as a foster alumni is desired at meetings, but that her voice is not always welcome.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the credo of foster alumni is "Nothing About Us, Without Us." Including foster alumni in discussions means more than just having them present when decisions are made.
Foster alumni are not "mascots" to represent the existence of foster children. Rather, we are insightful individuals, whose experiences and knowledge can be valuable to social workers, judges, attorneys, educators and behavioral health clinicians.
Talking with Christa affirmed some of the challenges that I have been facing in my state. When I meet with social services representatives, too often I hear the sunshine story:
-"We have no problems finding homes for foster children. Most of our children end up in kinship care."
-"Our foster teenagers are equipped with independent living skills before leaving care."
-"Our social workers are doing a wonderful job."
Yet, when I meet with actual foster parents and communicate with youth-in-care, I hear a different story:
-"My foster son has had five different social workers within the past five months. When the last social worker came to talk with us, he freaked out - because he thought this new stranger was coming to take him away."
-"Our neice was sent to a foster home out of state, rather than allowing her to be adopted by family."
-"We have over 30 teenagers in our school who are getting ready to age out of foster care, and they are unprepared - and scared."
I work at a job myself. I know what it means to "toe the party line." However, because the lives of children are at stake, I am going to have to insist upon hearing more honesty.
In My Shoes
In July 2003, Christa assisted in launching "In My Shoes," the first foster care alumni project in Arizona. This nonprofit organization was created to help foster teenagers (16 and17 years old) successfully transition to adulthood.
Youth in care are matched with foster alumni, who assist them in attaining the skills and information that they need in order to live independently. Participants are empowered to advocate and become leaders within their communities.
To find out more about "In My Shoes," please visit:
http://www.inmyshoesinc.org/
Stones in the Road
Christa Drake is very passionate about her work. From talking with her on a personal level, I was able to ascertain that she has faced concerns and obstacles along the way...
Some of these challenges have included:
-Liability for foster youth behavior when she is transporting them from one location to another. Teenagers in general are prone to risktaking behavior, and foster teens no less so. Christa is very conscientious about this, since one error in judgement could jeopardize the program.
-Feeling that her presence as a foster alumni is desired at meetings, but that her voice is not always welcome.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the credo of foster alumni is "Nothing About Us, Without Us." Including foster alumni in discussions means more than just having them present when decisions are made.
Foster alumni are not "mascots" to represent the existence of foster children. Rather, we are insightful individuals, whose experiences and knowledge can be valuable to social workers, judges, attorneys, educators and behavioral health clinicians.
Talking with Christa affirmed some of the challenges that I have been facing in my state. When I meet with social services representatives, too often I hear the sunshine story:
-"We have no problems finding homes for foster children. Most of our children end up in kinship care."
-"Our foster teenagers are equipped with independent living skills before leaving care."
-"Our social workers are doing a wonderful job."
Yet, when I meet with actual foster parents and communicate with youth-in-care, I hear a different story:
-"My foster son has had five different social workers within the past five months. When the last social worker came to talk with us, he freaked out - because he thought this new stranger was coming to take him away."
-"Our neice was sent to a foster home out of state, rather than allowing her to be adopted by family."
-"We have over 30 teenagers in our school who are getting ready to age out of foster care, and they are unprepared - and scared."
I work at a job myself. I know what it means to "toe the party line." However, because the lives of children are at stake, I am going to have to insist upon hearing more honesty.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Foster Alumna Changing the World Through Film
I recently returned from the FCAA Summit in Seattle, Washington. Sometimes in my life, as a former foster child, I have felt alone. At this summit, I met some amazing people.
Over my next series of blog entries, I plan to share some of their stories, and to explain more about the foster care movement that is taking place. At the FCAA summit, when one alumna was asked, "Why are you here?" she answered, "I'm here for the movement!"
Just as the civil rights movement and women's liberation movement changed American history, when foster care alumni connect, our goal is to transform the world.
Here's how Sasha Isaac-Young is using her gifts and talents to give foster children a voice...
Sasha Isaac-Young graduated USC with an MFA in Film Production. Prior to that, she attended Washington University in St. Louis, where she earned a BFA in Printmaking and a BA in Acting.
I was able to spend time with Sasha during the conference, and we found out that we had a surprising amount of life experiences in common. We've decided to collaborate and share ideas about how to convey the vulnerability and confusion experienced by females coming of age within the foster care system.
I watched two of Sasha's films, a documentary and a fiction film.
Foster Stories
"Foster Stories"is a short documentary Sasha made while still in school. It won best short documentary at the Urbanwide film festival in New York. It opens up with the premise that, "I can't tell you what it's like to live in foster care, but I can tell you stories."
This documentary aired on PBS. After it was shown locally, a viewer commented, This is the kind of documentary that should be shown nationally, on public television as well as all kinds of venues, it is so important.
As far as I know, there has never been any kind of documentary study on this subject, and with the touch of a filmmaker who clearly knows the ins, outs, ups and downs of the system.
This becomes a true masterpiece that could easily become an educational classic, and a work that should be seen by as many people as possible. I can only hope that the filmmaker could get feedback and support enough to allow them to expand it into a feature film; at the least, PBS should add this to it's national broadcasting, so the rest of America can join in the discussion.
To see a portion of "Foster Stories," please visit:
http://www.kcet.org/finecut/episode1.php
Little Valerie
While at USC Sasha directed a second thesis project, a fictional work titled “Little Valerie.”
In this short film, a young girl vys for the attention of the boy who lures her away from her institutional home. Sasha storyboarded the film masterfully, it is the essence of "show, don't tell."
I told Sasha, that I would like to show the film to my husband, but that I know that after I do so, he will start calling me, "Little Valerie."
Full-Length Documentary
Sasha's next step will be a feature film, a full-length documentary examining the American foster care system from the foster children's perspective.
Over my next series of blog entries, I plan to share some of their stories, and to explain more about the foster care movement that is taking place. At the FCAA summit, when one alumna was asked, "Why are you here?" she answered, "I'm here for the movement!"
Just as the civil rights movement and women's liberation movement changed American history, when foster care alumni connect, our goal is to transform the world.
Here's how Sasha Isaac-Young is using her gifts and talents to give foster children a voice...
Sasha Isaac-Young graduated USC with an MFA in Film Production. Prior to that, she attended Washington University in St. Louis, where she earned a BFA in Printmaking and a BA in Acting.
I was able to spend time with Sasha during the conference, and we found out that we had a surprising amount of life experiences in common. We've decided to collaborate and share ideas about how to convey the vulnerability and confusion experienced by females coming of age within the foster care system.
I watched two of Sasha's films, a documentary and a fiction film.
Foster Stories
"Foster Stories"is a short documentary Sasha made while still in school. It won best short documentary at the Urbanwide film festival in New York. It opens up with the premise that, "I can't tell you what it's like to live in foster care, but I can tell you stories."
This documentary aired on PBS. After it was shown locally, a viewer commented, This is the kind of documentary that should be shown nationally, on public television as well as all kinds of venues, it is so important.
As far as I know, there has never been any kind of documentary study on this subject, and with the touch of a filmmaker who clearly knows the ins, outs, ups and downs of the system.
This becomes a true masterpiece that could easily become an educational classic, and a work that should be seen by as many people as possible. I can only hope that the filmmaker could get feedback and support enough to allow them to expand it into a feature film; at the least, PBS should add this to it's national broadcasting, so the rest of America can join in the discussion.
To see a portion of "Foster Stories," please visit:
http://www.kcet.org/finecut/episode1.php
Little Valerie
While at USC Sasha directed a second thesis project, a fictional work titled “Little Valerie.”
In this short film, a young girl vys for the attention of the boy who lures her away from her institutional home. Sasha storyboarded the film masterfully, it is the essence of "show, don't tell."
I told Sasha, that I would like to show the film to my husband, but that I know that after I do so, he will start calling me, "Little Valerie."
Full-Length Documentary
Sasha's next step will be a feature film, a full-length documentary examining the American foster care system from the foster children's perspective.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Resources to Assist Social Workers
As I mentioned in a previous posting, in April 2006, New York caseworkers received a memo telling them not to discuss, email or post online anything that might reflect poorly on the agency. At the time, I mentioned my concerns that child welfare agencies, which are rather intrusive by nature when it comes to biological and foster families, might be avoiding accountability themselves.
What makes this directive even more interesting to me now is that in the January/February issue of Child Welfare, in-depth interviews of New York and Chicago social workers were published. A high percentage of New York caseworkers had reported poor morale and described their agencies as inadequate. I have to wonder if this prompted the April directive.
In these interviews, social workers were interviewed and asked their views on the child welfare system.
According to the social workers, the child welfare system:
-Does not meet the basic needs of children in care
-Lacks the necessary resources to appropriately serve clients
-Often sets unrealistic / unattainable goals
One caseworker stated that, "The system abuses the kids just as much as the parents do." Other respondees mentioned that foster children were often lost in the system, because there were not enough placement or adoptive resources.
Their overall responses emphasized the need to reform the child welfare system, and to re-evaluate funding priorities.
What might empower social workers to do the best job possible?
1.) Training. Not just initial, but ongoing training is necessary. Custodial cases are complicated. Laws change, policies adapt, inititiatives are created and research reveals new insights into child development and attachment issues. Investing in ongoing training for social workers is vital.
2.) Support: Caseworkers encounter high levels of stress and burnout. They often feel devalued and unappreciated for the work they do. To be effective, caseworkers need the support of their supervisor and coworkers.
3.) Qualified Supervision: Many caseworkers reported unqualified supervisors, unsupportive supervisors or the absence of supervision altogether. Lack of leadership does not promote effectiveness or morale.
4.) Cooperation with Court Personnel: I've mentioned the PEW Commission's recommendations on court proceedings in previous posts. They had mentioned that the adversarial approach of traditional judicial proceedings was detrimental to children in foster care.
Intrasystem contention: One interesting facet that this study revealed was that an adversarial relationship exists between court and child welfare personnel. It's hard to protect the child and facilitate collective decision-making when this type of antagonism between legal staff and child welfare staff is taking place.
Caseworkers also mentioned their frustration regarding:
-Lawyers who come to cases unprepared
-Certain birthparents and their lawyers were adept at manipulating the legal system
-Courts that were too quick to sever custody
-Courts that were too lenient on abusive birthparents and unwilling to sever custody
5.) Resources for Clients: Caseworkers expressed concern about their ability to provide the necessary services for clients.
Part of the social worker's job is to set clear limits for birth parents and provide them with the resources to overcome destructive behavior. However the instruments used to assess families were viewed as inadequate.
In order to comply with their case plan, birth parents are often required to go to multiple agencies, and if those particular trainings are overbooked, it can take up to six months to find a provider.
Reevaluating the job description
Perhaps it's time to examine the requirements of a social worker position.
-The job demands are high.
-Workers juggle high volume caseloads and redundant paperwork.
-Little time is left over to visit the children, focus on their well-being and determine the best outcome.
-Worker turnover and transition often results in lost information or spotty record keeping.
Even for a social worker with conviction, commitment and experience, the frequent lack of technical, administrative and personnel resources can be quite challenging.
We hand these overworked, underpaid individuals our most vulnerable children. We expect them to work miracles - and we demonize them for any evidence of failure. Rather than blaming the workers, we should reexamine the system as whole. And to do that, child welfare personnel should not be bound by any code of silence.
Source: Zell, Maristela. Child welfare workers: Who they are and how they view the child
welfare system. Child Welfare; Jan/Feb2006, Vol. 85 Issue 1, p83-103, 21p
What makes this directive even more interesting to me now is that in the January/February issue of Child Welfare, in-depth interviews of New York and Chicago social workers were published. A high percentage of New York caseworkers had reported poor morale and described their agencies as inadequate. I have to wonder if this prompted the April directive.
In these interviews, social workers were interviewed and asked their views on the child welfare system.
According to the social workers, the child welfare system:
-Does not meet the basic needs of children in care
-Lacks the necessary resources to appropriately serve clients
-Often sets unrealistic / unattainable goals
One caseworker stated that, "The system abuses the kids just as much as the parents do." Other respondees mentioned that foster children were often lost in the system, because there were not enough placement or adoptive resources.
Their overall responses emphasized the need to reform the child welfare system, and to re-evaluate funding priorities.
What might empower social workers to do the best job possible?
1.) Training. Not just initial, but ongoing training is necessary. Custodial cases are complicated. Laws change, policies adapt, inititiatives are created and research reveals new insights into child development and attachment issues. Investing in ongoing training for social workers is vital.
2.) Support: Caseworkers encounter high levels of stress and burnout. They often feel devalued and unappreciated for the work they do. To be effective, caseworkers need the support of their supervisor and coworkers.
3.) Qualified Supervision: Many caseworkers reported unqualified supervisors, unsupportive supervisors or the absence of supervision altogether. Lack of leadership does not promote effectiveness or morale.
4.) Cooperation with Court Personnel: I've mentioned the PEW Commission's recommendations on court proceedings in previous posts. They had mentioned that the adversarial approach of traditional judicial proceedings was detrimental to children in foster care.
Intrasystem contention: One interesting facet that this study revealed was that an adversarial relationship exists between court and child welfare personnel. It's hard to protect the child and facilitate collective decision-making when this type of antagonism between legal staff and child welfare staff is taking place.
Caseworkers also mentioned their frustration regarding:
-Lawyers who come to cases unprepared
-Certain birthparents and their lawyers were adept at manipulating the legal system
-Courts that were too quick to sever custody
-Courts that were too lenient on abusive birthparents and unwilling to sever custody
5.) Resources for Clients: Caseworkers expressed concern about their ability to provide the necessary services for clients.
Part of the social worker's job is to set clear limits for birth parents and provide them with the resources to overcome destructive behavior. However the instruments used to assess families were viewed as inadequate.
In order to comply with their case plan, birth parents are often required to go to multiple agencies, and if those particular trainings are overbooked, it can take up to six months to find a provider.
Reevaluating the job description
Perhaps it's time to examine the requirements of a social worker position.
-The job demands are high.
-Workers juggle high volume caseloads and redundant paperwork.
-Little time is left over to visit the children, focus on their well-being and determine the best outcome.
-Worker turnover and transition often results in lost information or spotty record keeping.
Even for a social worker with conviction, commitment and experience, the frequent lack of technical, administrative and personnel resources can be quite challenging.
We hand these overworked, underpaid individuals our most vulnerable children. We expect them to work miracles - and we demonize them for any evidence of failure. Rather than blaming the workers, we should reexamine the system as whole. And to do that, child welfare personnel should not be bound by any code of silence.
Source: Zell, Maristela. Child welfare workers: Who they are and how they view the child
welfare system. Child Welfare; Jan/Feb2006, Vol. 85 Issue 1, p83-103, 21p
Monday, May 22, 2006
Foster Children & Attachment
Ironically enough, just as I have been given the opportunity to be a "voice" for foster children in my upcoming trip to Seattle, I now have laryngitis. I am just praying that my voice comes back by the time I arrive on Friday!
Losing the Foster Parent
Because parental rights are prioritized, attachments between children and their foster parents are often ignored. The presumption is that the child can and will reunite with biological parents if at all possible.
Sometimes children who have been raised by birth by foster parents are sent back to biological parents who are effectively strangers to them.
Not only may children not have attached to their biological parents, but they also might have long-standing experiences of trauma with a parent. In these cases, children who have found sanctuary and built trust in a foster home are sent back to biological parents who have neglected and abused them for most of their lives.
Unfortunately, since the bond between foster parent and child is often minimalized, children who return home often do not receive supportive services to cope with the loss of the foster parent.
Meanwhile question remains: Will the biological parents maintain their progress? Or, will they fall back into old behavior patterns? It is vital in these cases to continue to monitor safety plans for the children after they return home. All too often, this does not happen.
Losing the Biological Parent
The reverse is also true. If parental custody is severed and the child is adopted, the child will still need time to grieve the loss of biological parents.
Even in the context of a loving adoptive home, with healthy meals, stimulating activities, support and resources, the child doesn't enter that home with a "blank slate."
Paradoxically, the more safe and secure the home is, the more likely the child is to grieve lost parents. Why? Because grieving is a process. Children can only begin to grieve within a safe and secure relationship.
Only within a safe, secure environment can a child:
-Face their losses
-Confront their anger
-Move past denial
-Emerge from behind a shield of detachment
-Recognize and resign themselves to the fact that any fantasies that they might have had about a reunion will not come true
This painful work usually takes place after a child enters a permanent home -- and at the very time that the social services often terminates services.
For both scenarios, follow-up services are essential. Losing either the foster or biological relationship might be very painful if the child has established a bond.
Source: Rebuilding attachments with traumatized children: Healing from losses,
violence, abuse and neglect by Richard Kagan, PhD.
Losing the Foster Parent
Because parental rights are prioritized, attachments between children and their foster parents are often ignored. The presumption is that the child can and will reunite with biological parents if at all possible.
Sometimes children who have been raised by birth by foster parents are sent back to biological parents who are effectively strangers to them.
Not only may children not have attached to their biological parents, but they also might have long-standing experiences of trauma with a parent. In these cases, children who have found sanctuary and built trust in a foster home are sent back to biological parents who have neglected and abused them for most of their lives.
Unfortunately, since the bond between foster parent and child is often minimalized, children who return home often do not receive supportive services to cope with the loss of the foster parent.
Meanwhile question remains: Will the biological parents maintain their progress? Or, will they fall back into old behavior patterns? It is vital in these cases to continue to monitor safety plans for the children after they return home. All too often, this does not happen.
Losing the Biological Parent
The reverse is also true. If parental custody is severed and the child is adopted, the child will still need time to grieve the loss of biological parents.
Even in the context of a loving adoptive home, with healthy meals, stimulating activities, support and resources, the child doesn't enter that home with a "blank slate."
Paradoxically, the more safe and secure the home is, the more likely the child is to grieve lost parents. Why? Because grieving is a process. Children can only begin to grieve within a safe and secure relationship.
Only within a safe, secure environment can a child:
-Face their losses
-Confront their anger
-Move past denial
-Emerge from behind a shield of detachment
-Recognize and resign themselves to the fact that any fantasies that they might have had about a reunion will not come true
This painful work usually takes place after a child enters a permanent home -- and at the very time that the social services often terminates services.
For both scenarios, follow-up services are essential. Losing either the foster or biological relationship might be very painful if the child has established a bond.
Source: Rebuilding attachments with traumatized children: Healing from losses,
violence, abuse and neglect by Richard Kagan, PhD.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Foster Children Alumni of America
As Ferris Bueller pointed out, "Sometimes life comes at you fast. If you don't stop and look around around once in a while, you might miss it."
This year, my life has come at me fast. 2006 has been a year of wonderful opportunities. I have been interviewed on the radio, for the first of four tapings. My book is progressing, with my agent eager (but patient) for the final draft. I've prepared and led workshops for foster children and foster parents.
In the meantime, I've also been made exempt (non-hourly) at my day job, which means that I often work 12-hour days. Fortunately, my day job as a children's librarian often intersects with my volunteer work as a child advocate...
Where work and advocacy collide:
-Programming for homeless children and teenagers
-Visiting schools in the inner city and getting to know the teachers and students
-Leading programs for teen moms
-Booktalks at residential facilities
So many of the things I do in my day job have allowed me to meet local resources...
Whom I then contact on my own time, to offer:
-Interviews (so that I can promote their services on the radio)
-Free programming for children and teens, in my spare time
-Workshops more specific to foster care needs
-Bibliographies of resources
-Links to mentoring, including contacts for local organizations
The city where I live seems fragmented. Nonprofit organizations have to compete for dollars, which often means competition between organizations, rather than mutual support. There is an attitude of secrecy; a fear that by sharing ideas with another organization, that group might 'steal' the idea and launch it on their own.
This saddens me, because I've always been a connector. When I was in college, I joined countless college organizations. If I met someone who 'didn't fit' with one group, I would invite them to come with me to visit another group. Many of the college students who were drawn to me as a friend seemed to be looking for a support group, and I really liked helping them find the right place for their needs.
I guess I'm a big picture person. If group A can't meet your needs, why not try group B? If church A isn't right for you, go to church B. We can't be all things to all people, and sometimes the mission and goals of one group will be more in allignment with what you need than another. And, who knows? The right fit for you might change over time.
All this is an introduction to say that...
Hopefully, I will finally be able to impact the big picture. My friend Gayle and I have been chosen as a chapter designee for FCAA, Foster Children Alumni of America. I'm traveling to Seattle, Washington at the end of the month in order to attend a summit, wherein foster alumni from states across the nation will discuss national policy regarding foster care.
The focus of FCAA is national policy, not direct service. Therefore, my plan is to:
- Partner with my friend Gayle and working as a subsidiary of her organization, to provide direct service such as housing for foster alumni, on a local level.
-While also continuing my research and advocacy to impact foster care on a national level, through FCAA.
More information about this new and growing organization can be found at:
www.fostercarealumni.org
This year, my life has come at me fast. 2006 has been a year of wonderful opportunities. I have been interviewed on the radio, for the first of four tapings. My book is progressing, with my agent eager (but patient) for the final draft. I've prepared and led workshops for foster children and foster parents.
In the meantime, I've also been made exempt (non-hourly) at my day job, which means that I often work 12-hour days. Fortunately, my day job as a children's librarian often intersects with my volunteer work as a child advocate...
Where work and advocacy collide:
-Programming for homeless children and teenagers
-Visiting schools in the inner city and getting to know the teachers and students
-Leading programs for teen moms
-Booktalks at residential facilities
So many of the things I do in my day job have allowed me to meet local resources...
Whom I then contact on my own time, to offer:
-Interviews (so that I can promote their services on the radio)
-Free programming for children and teens, in my spare time
-Workshops more specific to foster care needs
-Bibliographies of resources
-Links to mentoring, including contacts for local organizations
The city where I live seems fragmented. Nonprofit organizations have to compete for dollars, which often means competition between organizations, rather than mutual support. There is an attitude of secrecy; a fear that by sharing ideas with another organization, that group might 'steal' the idea and launch it on their own.
This saddens me, because I've always been a connector. When I was in college, I joined countless college organizations. If I met someone who 'didn't fit' with one group, I would invite them to come with me to visit another group. Many of the college students who were drawn to me as a friend seemed to be looking for a support group, and I really liked helping them find the right place for their needs.
I guess I'm a big picture person. If group A can't meet your needs, why not try group B? If church A isn't right for you, go to church B. We can't be all things to all people, and sometimes the mission and goals of one group will be more in allignment with what you need than another. And, who knows? The right fit for you might change over time.
All this is an introduction to say that...
Hopefully, I will finally be able to impact the big picture. My friend Gayle and I have been chosen as a chapter designee for FCAA, Foster Children Alumni of America. I'm traveling to Seattle, Washington at the end of the month in order to attend a summit, wherein foster alumni from states across the nation will discuss national policy regarding foster care.
The focus of FCAA is national policy, not direct service. Therefore, my plan is to:
- Partner with my friend Gayle and working as a subsidiary of her organization, to provide direct service such as housing for foster alumni, on a local level.
-While also continuing my research and advocacy to impact foster care on a national level, through FCAA.
More information about this new and growing organization can be found at:
www.fostercarealumni.org
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Facing Down the Demons of Injustice
Last night, I met with a group of homeless and transitional-living teenagers. They, and their families, were being provided for by an agency I mentioned in my previous posting. I attended their youth drop-in center/focus group.
One young man spoke about his experiences in school and in the local neighborhood. He felt that he was being stereotyped and scapegoated, although he did not use those terms.
He described the anger and indignation he felt when he and his friends were singled out by police officers due to their race and clothing.
He was upset that, just as he was trying to work hard to raise his grades at school because his goal is to ultimately go to college, the school administrators were also emphasizing clothing. Specifically, the colors red and blue are now forbidden, due to gang-related concerns.
Another young woman talked about her biological father. When she was younger, he had abused her. Her father had not provided for her. He did not regularly visit her, but when he did, he tried to assert his authority. When she was three years old, he had tried to cut ties with her permanently... and it was obvious that that his rejection still hurt her deeply.
What struck me about both of these young teenagers was that, in their minds, they were facing down the demons of injustice. Shouldn't academic progress be more important than clothing? Shouldn't a father love his daughter?
Another thing that struck me was that there was no place on earth that I would rather be...
I told the young man that he had choices. He was facing prejudice, perhaps even racism. Would he react with the anger of Malcolm X or the stubborn but law-abiding conviction of Martin Luther King?
What were his choices?
-Stay and fight the school administration over clothing issues?
-Transfer to another school, which might support his academic progress?
-Study on his own, and acquire his GED?
Because, he did have choices, he did have power and (thanks to this wonderful organization) he did have support.
I told the young woman that she was worth something. It's easier to feel loveable if you are loved. It's easier to feel valued if you are valued.
But this intelligent, articulate young woman, only 12 years old, has tremendous value that has not yet been recognized. One day, a man might meet her and fall in love with her. One day, she might build a family. When those things happen, she will feel loved. She will feel valuable.
But she is no less valuable right now.
Youth Empowerment Program (YEP) is a program that emphasizes:
1.) Housing
2.) Education
3.) Civic engagement
They provide community services:
1.) Community ownership
2.) Community awareness
3.) Advocacy
Their website is: http://www.cohhio.org/yep/
One young man spoke about his experiences in school and in the local neighborhood. He felt that he was being stereotyped and scapegoated, although he did not use those terms.
He described the anger and indignation he felt when he and his friends were singled out by police officers due to their race and clothing.
He was upset that, just as he was trying to work hard to raise his grades at school because his goal is to ultimately go to college, the school administrators were also emphasizing clothing. Specifically, the colors red and blue are now forbidden, due to gang-related concerns.
Another young woman talked about her biological father. When she was younger, he had abused her. Her father had not provided for her. He did not regularly visit her, but when he did, he tried to assert his authority. When she was three years old, he had tried to cut ties with her permanently... and it was obvious that that his rejection still hurt her deeply.
What struck me about both of these young teenagers was that, in their minds, they were facing down the demons of injustice. Shouldn't academic progress be more important than clothing? Shouldn't a father love his daughter?
Another thing that struck me was that there was no place on earth that I would rather be...
I told the young man that he had choices. He was facing prejudice, perhaps even racism. Would he react with the anger of Malcolm X or the stubborn but law-abiding conviction of Martin Luther King?
What were his choices?
-Stay and fight the school administration over clothing issues?
-Transfer to another school, which might support his academic progress?
-Study on his own, and acquire his GED?
Because, he did have choices, he did have power and (thanks to this wonderful organization) he did have support.
I told the young woman that she was worth something. It's easier to feel loveable if you are loved. It's easier to feel valued if you are valued.
But this intelligent, articulate young woman, only 12 years old, has tremendous value that has not yet been recognized. One day, a man might meet her and fall in love with her. One day, she might build a family. When those things happen, she will feel loved. She will feel valuable.
But she is no less valuable right now.
Youth Empowerment Program (YEP) is a program that emphasizes:
1.) Housing
2.) Education
3.) Civic engagement
They provide community services:
1.) Community ownership
2.) Community awareness
3.) Advocacy
Their website is: http://www.cohhio.org/yep/
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Second Example of An Effective Preventative Program
Prevent Child Abuse Ohio offers parenting classes to teenage mothers.
I recently led two workshops for their clientele on early literacy promotion with infants, and I was very impressed by the support that teen mothers are receiving from this program.
I was also happy to see that teen fathers were welcome to attend workshops and trainings as well. In the first session I led, one of the teen fathers was one of the most active participants in the training.
Children of adolescent mothers are at greater risk of being neglected or abused. Since teenage pregnancy is often associated with adverse family experiences in childhood, including violence and sexual abuse, it's wise to assume that teen mothers might need some coaching in parenting skills.
Teen parents benefit from emotional and academic support. Providing guidance and mentoring to adolescent parents can raise their self-esteem, help them to stay in school, prepare them for college and/or careers and above all help them not to abuse or neglect their children.
Meeting regularly with teen mothers can help to keep an eye out for other concerns as well. Teen pregnancy is associated with greater health concerns, both for the mother and the child. In addition, if the father was a significantly older man, that's a warning signal that the teenage girl might be involved in a controlling or abusive relationship (high correlation).
Teen fathers are also at risk. Research shows that young men who have experienced childhood abuse or have witnessed the physical abuse of their mother, are twice as likely to engage in sex leading to a teenage pregnancy. Men who have endured a combination of physical and sexual abuse, plus exposure to childhood battery are even more likely to be involved in the pregnancy of a teenager.
To learn more about their parent enrichment program for teen parents, please visit their web site...
Prevent Child Abuse Ohio
http://www.pcao.org/
Resources:
Hollander, D. Risks and disadvantages are raised for teenage mothers with older adult partners. Family Planning Perspectives, Nov/Dec2001, Vol. 33 Issue 6, p285, 2p;
Rosenberg, J. Boyhood abuse increases men's risk of involvement in a teenager's pregnancy. Family Planning Perspectives, 00147354, Jul/Aug2001, Vol. 33, Issue 4.
Saewyc, Elizabeth M., et all. Teenage pregnancy and associated risk behaviors among sexually abused adolescents. Perspectives on Sexual & Reproductive Health, May/Jun2004.
Tamkins, T. Teenage pregnancy risk rises with childhood exposure to family strife. Perspectives on Sexual & Reproductive Health, Mar/Apr2004, Vol. 36 Issue 2, p88-89, 2p.
I recently led two workshops for their clientele on early literacy promotion with infants, and I was very impressed by the support that teen mothers are receiving from this program.
I was also happy to see that teen fathers were welcome to attend workshops and trainings as well. In the first session I led, one of the teen fathers was one of the most active participants in the training.
Children of adolescent mothers are at greater risk of being neglected or abused. Since teenage pregnancy is often associated with adverse family experiences in childhood, including violence and sexual abuse, it's wise to assume that teen mothers might need some coaching in parenting skills.
Teen parents benefit from emotional and academic support. Providing guidance and mentoring to adolescent parents can raise their self-esteem, help them to stay in school, prepare them for college and/or careers and above all help them not to abuse or neglect their children.
Meeting regularly with teen mothers can help to keep an eye out for other concerns as well. Teen pregnancy is associated with greater health concerns, both for the mother and the child. In addition, if the father was a significantly older man, that's a warning signal that the teenage girl might be involved in a controlling or abusive relationship (high correlation).
Teen fathers are also at risk. Research shows that young men who have experienced childhood abuse or have witnessed the physical abuse of their mother, are twice as likely to engage in sex leading to a teenage pregnancy. Men who have endured a combination of physical and sexual abuse, plus exposure to childhood battery are even more likely to be involved in the pregnancy of a teenager.
To learn more about their parent enrichment program for teen parents, please visit their web site...
Prevent Child Abuse Ohio
http://www.pcao.org/
Resources:
Hollander, D. Risks and disadvantages are raised for teenage mothers with older adult partners. Family Planning Perspectives, Nov/Dec2001, Vol. 33 Issue 6, p285, 2p;
Rosenberg, J. Boyhood abuse increases men's risk of involvement in a teenager's pregnancy. Family Planning Perspectives, 00147354, Jul/Aug2001, Vol. 33, Issue 4.
Saewyc, Elizabeth M., et all. Teenage pregnancy and associated risk behaviors among sexually abused adolescents. Perspectives on Sexual & Reproductive Health, May/Jun2004.
Tamkins, T. Teenage pregnancy risk rises with childhood exposure to family strife. Perspectives on Sexual & Reproductive Health, Mar/Apr2004, Vol. 36 Issue 2, p88-89, 2p.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
First of Two Examples of Effective Efforts Towards Prevention
Neglect Vs. Abuse
In an article called, "Helping the Overwhelmed Family, author Ellen Perlman mentioned that a child safety agency in Minnesota found that separating child neglect from child abuse cases was better for the protection of children.
Preventing Neglect and Empowering Families to Succeed
I see wisdom in differentiating between neglect and abuse. In the case of neglect, a parent is not providing for a child's needs -- something which might be remedied through parental education. Whereas abuse can be more pervasive and damaging.
With that in mind, I wanted to share about two Ohio agencies for whom I programmed recently... Both of these agencies appear to be doing a good job at parental education and fostering family stability. Here is part 1 of 2...
Homeless Families Foundation
As well as being a child advocate, I (Lisa) also work a day job as a youth services librarian. I recently visited the Dowd Education Center in Columbus, Ohio in that capacity. The Homeless Families Foundation is a family shelter in Columbus, Ohio, whose programs include:
1.) Apartment units for homeless families. Adult participants must be drug-free and alcohol-free in order to participate in the program. There are frequent tests of parents to assure continued sobriety.
The Homeless Families Foundation operates as a "Housing First" agency, based on the belief that families are capable of living independently and can address their issues best in a stable, long-term environment.
2.) Support services for adults. This includes GED test preparation and development of job skills.
3.) The Dowd Education Center provides after school programs and summer school for homeless children in K-8th grades.
The center views children as innocent victims in the tragedy of family homelessness. Therefore, their commitment to homeless children is to provide healthy meals, educational support and an atmosphere of stability.
When I visited the Dowd Education Center to promote summer reading, literacy and to booktalk several books to the children, I was impressed by the meals provided to children.
I don't know if you've seen the movie "Supersize Me," but too often school cafeterias serve cheap, unhealthy meals. And, having volunteered at homeless shelters in the past, the ones I volunteered for tended to serve stale, leftover food (even on Christmas!)
But these meals were healthy. All four food groups were represented. They smelled wonderful. And, being a health-conscious eater, I can honestly say that I would have been happy to grab a tray myself!
I was also impressed by the programs that they were offering the children. One teacher gave me her email and I promised to send her a list of the books that I booktalked to the children. She wanted to build upon their initial enthusiasm and to promote literacy at the shelter.
I liked how they channeled the children's energy into physical activities such as dance class and tae kwon doe.
Viewing the entire program through my "foster care" lens, it was obvious that this program promotes family stability through:
-Its selectivity (no substance abuse by parents in the program)
-Long-term shelter (as Maslow's hierarchy of needs will attests, shelter is a primary need)
-Academic focus (for children and adults)
-Health focus (for children and adults)
I have to add that when I led a program for the children, their enthusiasm was wonderful. I had brought a "wheel of fortune" of book covers. I called each child up to take a turn at spinning the wheel and then I booktalked the title based on the book cover that appeared. The children wanted to read every story and find out what happened!
I was also saddened by recognizing some of their unmet emotional needs. One young girl clung to my arm throughout the beginning of my presentation. When I ended my program, young children rushed to me to give me hugs. I was surrounded by a human wall of need, a circle of arms around me.
In an article called, "Helping the Overwhelmed Family, author Ellen Perlman mentioned that a child safety agency in Minnesota found that separating child neglect from child abuse cases was better for the protection of children.
Preventing Neglect and Empowering Families to Succeed
I see wisdom in differentiating between neglect and abuse. In the case of neglect, a parent is not providing for a child's needs -- something which might be remedied through parental education. Whereas abuse can be more pervasive and damaging.
With that in mind, I wanted to share about two Ohio agencies for whom I programmed recently... Both of these agencies appear to be doing a good job at parental education and fostering family stability. Here is part 1 of 2...
Homeless Families Foundation
As well as being a child advocate, I (Lisa) also work a day job as a youth services librarian. I recently visited the Dowd Education Center in Columbus, Ohio in that capacity. The Homeless Families Foundation is a family shelter in Columbus, Ohio, whose programs include:
1.) Apartment units for homeless families. Adult participants must be drug-free and alcohol-free in order to participate in the program. There are frequent tests of parents to assure continued sobriety.
The Homeless Families Foundation operates as a "Housing First" agency, based on the belief that families are capable of living independently and can address their issues best in a stable, long-term environment.
2.) Support services for adults. This includes GED test preparation and development of job skills.
3.) The Dowd Education Center provides after school programs and summer school for homeless children in K-8th grades.
The center views children as innocent victims in the tragedy of family homelessness. Therefore, their commitment to homeless children is to provide healthy meals, educational support and an atmosphere of stability.
When I visited the Dowd Education Center to promote summer reading, literacy and to booktalk several books to the children, I was impressed by the meals provided to children.
I don't know if you've seen the movie "Supersize Me," but too often school cafeterias serve cheap, unhealthy meals. And, having volunteered at homeless shelters in the past, the ones I volunteered for tended to serve stale, leftover food (even on Christmas!)
But these meals were healthy. All four food groups were represented. They smelled wonderful. And, being a health-conscious eater, I can honestly say that I would have been happy to grab a tray myself!
I was also impressed by the programs that they were offering the children. One teacher gave me her email and I promised to send her a list of the books that I booktalked to the children. She wanted to build upon their initial enthusiasm and to promote literacy at the shelter.
I liked how they channeled the children's energy into physical activities such as dance class and tae kwon doe.
Viewing the entire program through my "foster care" lens, it was obvious that this program promotes family stability through:
-Its selectivity (no substance abuse by parents in the program)
-Long-term shelter (as Maslow's hierarchy of needs will attests, shelter is a primary need)
-Academic focus (for children and adults)
-Health focus (for children and adults)
I have to add that when I led a program for the children, their enthusiasm was wonderful. I had brought a "wheel of fortune" of book covers. I called each child up to take a turn at spinning the wheel and then I booktalked the title based on the book cover that appeared. The children wanted to read every story and find out what happened!
I was also saddened by recognizing some of their unmet emotional needs. One young girl clung to my arm throughout the beginning of my presentation. When I ended my program, young children rushed to me to give me hugs. I was surrounded by a human wall of need, a circle of arms around me.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Changing Lives By Changing Systems
Last summer, the National Judicial Leadership Summit invited judges and child welfare administrations to develop state action plans to improve outcomes for children in foster care. Every state in the nation was represented.
State Action Plans focused on how to:
-Assert judicial leadership
-Increase accountability
-Foster collaboration between courts and agencies
-Provide a voice for parents and children
A National Call to Action
Plans developed from that summit have just been released by the National Center for State Courts.
Court delays are a key factor in prolonging children's time in foster care. These delays can be caused by:
-Insufficient information collection
-Postponement of hearings because not all parties are present
-Miscommunication between involved parties
National Curriculum
The "National Curriculum for Caseflow Management in Juvenile Delinquency Cases Involving Foster Care" was developed in 2005. Its goal was to improve the court system's ability to oversee court cases in order to shorten the time needed for children to find permanent placement.
One thing that was emphasized in this curriculum was that the better the collaboration and communication between state courts and child welfare agencies, the better the outcomes for foster children.
State Courts and Child Welfare Agencies
Both of these two groups act as "gatekeepers" for the foster care system. Both are responsible to protect children. Without mutual collaboration between them, both groups are hindered.
Real-life examples of this type of collaboration can be found in a document called "Improving Outcomes Together," which was released by the ABA Center on Children and the Law and Fostering Results.
To Learn More:
National call to action: http://www.ncsconline.org/
National curriculum: http://jeritt.mus.edu
State Action Plans focused on how to:
-Assert judicial leadership
-Increase accountability
-Foster collaboration between courts and agencies
-Provide a voice for parents and children
A National Call to Action
Plans developed from that summit have just been released by the National Center for State Courts.
Court delays are a key factor in prolonging children's time in foster care. These delays can be caused by:
-Insufficient information collection
-Postponement of hearings because not all parties are present
-Miscommunication between involved parties
National Curriculum
The "National Curriculum for Caseflow Management in Juvenile Delinquency Cases Involving Foster Care" was developed in 2005. Its goal was to improve the court system's ability to oversee court cases in order to shorten the time needed for children to find permanent placement.
One thing that was emphasized in this curriculum was that the better the collaboration and communication between state courts and child welfare agencies, the better the outcomes for foster children.
State Courts and Child Welfare Agencies
Both of these two groups act as "gatekeepers" for the foster care system. Both are responsible to protect children. Without mutual collaboration between them, both groups are hindered.
Real-life examples of this type of collaboration can be found in a document called "Improving Outcomes Together," which was released by the ABA Center on Children and the Law and Fostering Results.
To Learn More:
National call to action: http://www.ncsconline.org/
National curriculum: http://jeritt.mus.edu
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Judge Takes A Proactive Approach to Foster Care
I recently emailed the Communications Director of the PEW Commission:
-I praised the DVD they created in order to outline their recommendations regarding foster care.
-I also suggested that it might help to show a diagram, or create a written, audio or video presentation of what it looks like when judges, attorneys, social workers, court appointed special advocates, foster parents and parents get together and discuss what placement might be in the best interest of the child.
Show Me, Don't Just Tell Me
It's hard to learn new things without a demonstration. Even more difficult to "unlearn" old patterns of behavior without a vision of what the new behavior should look like...
In the meantime, I've been searching newspaper databases to try to find some real-life examples. Here's what I've come up with so far...
Judicial Field Trip
Kudos to a California judge for his creativity, leadership and initiative when it comes to deciding cases involving foster care.
Superior Court Judge Philip Soto organized a "courtroom field trip" for a group of public defenders, district attorneys and private attorneys. He took them to Rosemary's Cottage, so that they could witness firsthand what the girls were experiencing.
Rosemary's Cottage provides residential foster care for girls between the ages of 13 and 17.
During the visit, the courtroom visitors and Rosemary staff shared concerns and challenges. The open dialogue permitted each group to ask questions of one another.
So often, the staff at Rosemary's Village communicate with the courts only through intermediaries. This creates a disconnect between the legal staff who are representing the children and the agencies entrusted with their care.
Soto explained his initiative in visting the center by saying, "Every state gets bogged down under its own administrative weight, and sometimes it takes a judge going out in the field and learning more about these programs."
He plans to arrange more field trips in the future.
Source:
Ruiz, Kenneth Todd. Taking court to foster care. Pasadena Star - News. Pasadena, Calif.: May 3, 2006.
-I praised the DVD they created in order to outline their recommendations regarding foster care.
-I also suggested that it might help to show a diagram, or create a written, audio or video presentation of what it looks like when judges, attorneys, social workers, court appointed special advocates, foster parents and parents get together and discuss what placement might be in the best interest of the child.
Show Me, Don't Just Tell Me
It's hard to learn new things without a demonstration. Even more difficult to "unlearn" old patterns of behavior without a vision of what the new behavior should look like...
In the meantime, I've been searching newspaper databases to try to find some real-life examples. Here's what I've come up with so far...
Judicial Field Trip
Kudos to a California judge for his creativity, leadership and initiative when it comes to deciding cases involving foster care.
Superior Court Judge Philip Soto organized a "courtroom field trip" for a group of public defenders, district attorneys and private attorneys. He took them to Rosemary's Cottage, so that they could witness firsthand what the girls were experiencing.
Rosemary's Cottage provides residential foster care for girls between the ages of 13 and 17.
During the visit, the courtroom visitors and Rosemary staff shared concerns and challenges. The open dialogue permitted each group to ask questions of one another.
So often, the staff at Rosemary's Village communicate with the courts only through intermediaries. This creates a disconnect between the legal staff who are representing the children and the agencies entrusted with their care.
Soto explained his initiative in visting the center by saying, "Every state gets bogged down under its own administrative weight, and sometimes it takes a judge going out in the field and learning more about these programs."
He plans to arrange more field trips in the future.
Source:
Ruiz, Kenneth Todd. Taking court to foster care. Pasadena Star - News. Pasadena, Calif.: May 3, 2006.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
From One Extreme to the Other
Quick to reunify or quick to sever custody? Is there no middle ground between these two extremes?
While some states and social services agencies drag their heels in terms of finding children a stable permanent home, it appears that Kentucky has gone in the opposite direction.
Financial incentives appear to be prompting hasty and unwise decisions that are not necessarily in the best interests of the child.
From 384 in 1999 to 902 in 2005, the number of children moved from state foster care to adoption in Kentucky has steadily increased.
This increase has resulted in $1 million in bonus money which Kentucky received in 2004. The state receives a bonus of $4,000 for each adopted child, and more if the child has special needs.
A whistleblower lawsuit claims that the Cabinet stands to lose millions of dollars if it fails to meet federal time frames. Veteran state social workers have reported being pressured to terminate parental rights.
The bottom line in the parent rights debate:
1.) It's important to prevent children from languishing in foster care.
As my recent blogs will attest, ongoing abuse and repeated abandonment by a parent of their biological children should lead to termination of parental rights -- not reunification.
2.) It is also important to avoid "quick trigger" adoptions if there is not enough evidence to justify the removal.
Kentucky political agenda
- 225 complaints were filed on an anonymous hotline, which was set up by child-protection workers who were concerned about the situation, but fearful of violating confidentiality laws by making their concerns public.
-Social workers in Hardin County reported that supervisors picked adoptive families based on how those families could benefit the Cabinet or because supervisors thought the families were owed a favor.
-Social workers from other parts of the state said supervisors forced them to terminate custody prematurely in order to raise the number of adoptions of foster children.
"Over-correcting the problem"
-In 1999, federal authorities found Kentucky out of compliance with the Adoption and Safe Families Act. Children were languishing in foster care.
-By 2003, the problem still had not been sufficiently corrected and Kentucky faced $1.7 million in fines if the situation didn't improve.
Unsafe adoptive homes
Here's a quote that really disturbs me: The attorney for former state social worker Pat Moore says Moore was fired because she criticized her supervisors for insisting that two foster children be placed with an adoptive family in Verona in Boone County even thought the family, among other problems, allowed a man described in court documents as a pedophile convicted of sex crimes to be around the children.
In her whistleblower suit, Moore said the Cabinet was forcing the adoption to keep its numbers high. Court records show that Cabinet supervisors pushed for the adoption even though those same supervisors acknowledged that the prospective adoptive home should not have been approved and a private foster care agency deemed the home unfit.
According to a memo from Cabinet officials that is included in the lawsuit file, there had been a half-dozen complaints about the prospective adoptive parents, which the Cabinet never substantiated.
In a September 2004 court petition to remove the children from the home, Thomas W. Beiting, a court-appointed guardian, told a judge that both parents had criminal records. Beiting also noted that a son living in the home had been convicted of multiple felonies, including drug convictions, and that the foster mother's brother, a convicted child abuser, had been in the home around the foster children.
"It is obvious that this home probably should have never been approved," said a July 2004 report that summarized a meeting between three regional supervisors and was included in the court file.
But the supervisors went on to push for the adoption. "It is our recommendation that we proceed quickly with the adoption, while building in the greatest safety net as possible," the report said (Foster adoption push).
Where's the logic? To take a child from an unsafe home and place that child with a secure adoptive family - that I can respect and understand.
But to try to use children to repay favors? To place them in adoptive homes that are unsafe? That child doesn't need a safety net. He or she needs a safer initial placement.
Equally disturbing is this quote from a second article: Domestic violence shelter directors say the state is increasingly taking children away from women who have done nothing more than move to a shelter to escape a violent home...Some Cabinet workers have been telling women that shelters aren't an appropriate atmosphere for children (Mothers in domestic violence shelters).
Here's the scenario: Mother is in an abusive situation. She leaves, taking the child with her. That's motherly love. Is she protecting the child? Yes. Caring for the child? Yes. Making sure that the child is sheltered, fed and nurtured? Apparently so. She certainly didn't abandon the child by leaving him or her behind.
So, I would ask the Cabinet to give me a good, strong reason why such a mother might lose parental custody. Is the mother neglectful? Addicted to drugs? Abusive? Or has she just fallen on a period of hard luck, and all she needs is some support in order to pull her life back together?
These are very important distinctions to make before coming to custodial decisions.
Sources: Foster child adoption push investigated: State unjstly terminates parental rights for federal money. By Valarie Honeycutt Spears, Herald-Leader staff writer.
Mothers in domestic violence shelters face losing their children. By Valarie Honeycutt Spears, Herald-Leader staff writer.
While some states and social services agencies drag their heels in terms of finding children a stable permanent home, it appears that Kentucky has gone in the opposite direction.
Financial incentives appear to be prompting hasty and unwise decisions that are not necessarily in the best interests of the child.
From 384 in 1999 to 902 in 2005, the number of children moved from state foster care to adoption in Kentucky has steadily increased.
This increase has resulted in $1 million in bonus money which Kentucky received in 2004. The state receives a bonus of $4,000 for each adopted child, and more if the child has special needs.
A whistleblower lawsuit claims that the Cabinet stands to lose millions of dollars if it fails to meet federal time frames. Veteran state social workers have reported being pressured to terminate parental rights.
The bottom line in the parent rights debate:
1.) It's important to prevent children from languishing in foster care.
As my recent blogs will attest, ongoing abuse and repeated abandonment by a parent of their biological children should lead to termination of parental rights -- not reunification.
2.) It is also important to avoid "quick trigger" adoptions if there is not enough evidence to justify the removal.
Kentucky political agenda
- 225 complaints were filed on an anonymous hotline, which was set up by child-protection workers who were concerned about the situation, but fearful of violating confidentiality laws by making their concerns public.
-Social workers in Hardin County reported that supervisors picked adoptive families based on how those families could benefit the Cabinet or because supervisors thought the families were owed a favor.
-Social workers from other parts of the state said supervisors forced them to terminate custody prematurely in order to raise the number of adoptions of foster children.
"Over-correcting the problem"
-In 1999, federal authorities found Kentucky out of compliance with the Adoption and Safe Families Act. Children were languishing in foster care.
-By 2003, the problem still had not been sufficiently corrected and Kentucky faced $1.7 million in fines if the situation didn't improve.
Unsafe adoptive homes
Here's a quote that really disturbs me: The attorney for former state social worker Pat Moore says Moore was fired because she criticized her supervisors for insisting that two foster children be placed with an adoptive family in Verona in Boone County even thought the family, among other problems, allowed a man described in court documents as a pedophile convicted of sex crimes to be around the children.
In her whistleblower suit, Moore said the Cabinet was forcing the adoption to keep its numbers high. Court records show that Cabinet supervisors pushed for the adoption even though those same supervisors acknowledged that the prospective adoptive home should not have been approved and a private foster care agency deemed the home unfit.
According to a memo from Cabinet officials that is included in the lawsuit file, there had been a half-dozen complaints about the prospective adoptive parents, which the Cabinet never substantiated.
In a September 2004 court petition to remove the children from the home, Thomas W. Beiting, a court-appointed guardian, told a judge that both parents had criminal records. Beiting also noted that a son living in the home had been convicted of multiple felonies, including drug convictions, and that the foster mother's brother, a convicted child abuser, had been in the home around the foster children.
"It is obvious that this home probably should have never been approved," said a July 2004 report that summarized a meeting between three regional supervisors and was included in the court file.
But the supervisors went on to push for the adoption. "It is our recommendation that we proceed quickly with the adoption, while building in the greatest safety net as possible," the report said (Foster adoption push).
Where's the logic? To take a child from an unsafe home and place that child with a secure adoptive family - that I can respect and understand.
But to try to use children to repay favors? To place them in adoptive homes that are unsafe? That child doesn't need a safety net. He or she needs a safer initial placement.
Equally disturbing is this quote from a second article: Domestic violence shelter directors say the state is increasingly taking children away from women who have done nothing more than move to a shelter to escape a violent home...Some Cabinet workers have been telling women that shelters aren't an appropriate atmosphere for children (Mothers in domestic violence shelters).
Here's the scenario: Mother is in an abusive situation. She leaves, taking the child with her. That's motherly love. Is she protecting the child? Yes. Caring for the child? Yes. Making sure that the child is sheltered, fed and nurtured? Apparently so. She certainly didn't abandon the child by leaving him or her behind.
So, I would ask the Cabinet to give me a good, strong reason why such a mother might lose parental custody. Is the mother neglectful? Addicted to drugs? Abusive? Or has she just fallen on a period of hard luck, and all she needs is some support in order to pull her life back together?
These are very important distinctions to make before coming to custodial decisions.
Sources: Foster child adoption push investigated: State unjstly terminates parental rights for federal money. By Valarie Honeycutt Spears, Herald-Leader staff writer.
Mothers in domestic violence shelters face losing their children. By Valarie Honeycutt Spears, Herald-Leader staff writer.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
ABC Therapeutics Occupational Therapy Weblog: The role of occupational therapy in family reunification
ABC Therapeutics Occupational Therapy Weblog: The role of occupational therapy in family reunification: "Terling (1999) states that reentry into foster care due to additional maltreatment occurs too frequently, and that 37% of the children reunited with their families reenter the system within 3 1/2 years."
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