Deeply Proud of Kelsie

As a statewide OHIO YAB Ambassador, Kelsie Brown has initiated and followed through on designing this three-part video project to reflect the experiences of Teen Moms in Foster Care. This project is a work of love, based on her lived experience and her desire to proactively share resources with others.

Kelsie's hope is that this video will inspire foster parents to take in teens, and provide viewers with empathy when it comes to the experiences of a teen mom in foster care. For additional resources, please visit: www.fosteractionohio.org/teen-moms/   

Part 1: What It's Like to Be a Teen Mom in Foster Care



Part 2: What Teen Moms in Foster Care Need From Their Foster Parents



Part 3: Teen Moms in Foster Care Have Rights and Resources 

My Favorite Quote From College

This is my favorite quote that I discovered in college. It echoes the wounds of my childhood, and resonates with me, over and over again:

“When I was young, I thought that I had to be perfect for people to love me. I thought that if I ever did something wrong, their love would be withdrawn…

We need to give ourselves permission to be human, to try and to stumble, to be momentarily weak and to feel shame but to overcome that shame with moments of strength, courage and generosity.”

-H. S. Kushner, You Don’t Have to Be Perfect To Be Loved 

2022 Victory: Establishing Ohio's first Youth Ombudsman Office

House of the Dragon

 Talk about complicated family relationships...

2022 Foster Youth Rights Video

The dangerous impact of the pendulum swing on child welfare

Current and former foster youth participated in recent focus groups to share concerns about county child abuse hotlines, in preparation for a future meeting with ODJFS leadership. 

Concerns were expressed by youth that:  

• There has been an overcorrection by some staff members and/or agencies when it comes to addressing disproportionality in foster care (including an over-utilization of 'alternative response' in situations that call for a traditional one to avoid further abuse)
• There is a need to address:
• Implicit bias not to listen to youth, and
• Implicit bias not to want to take youth into protective care

It is discriminatory not to take an African American child or teen into foster care based on wanting to avoid disproportionality. This is putting political correctness over child safety.

When it comes to child welfare, we are trying so hard to move forward that we are moving backwards in some ways.  The risk is for this to lead to a dangerous overcorrection in which the system doesn’t want to take youth into care at all.

 

One way to avoid the pendulum swing and ensure child and teen protection is:

• To make the system YOUTH-centered
• Make it about the kids and their welfare and best interest
• Rather than the parent’s property interest in their children 

Implicit bias can go both ways, and create systemic impact and systemic harm. Ohio’s screening measures need to account for subjectivity and bias.

The bottom line needs to be youth safety: Is the child or teen being abused or not?

The risks of not accounting for implicit bias on both sides include child and teen fatalities, as referenced in the 2021 Case Western research study.  

During recent focus groups, youth leaders mentioned calling the child abuse hotline multiples times before they were finally listened to, which is the very opposite of having an 'early warning system.' Some had to run away first, in order to be finally taken into care. 

Cuteness with Carly and the kiddos

Link to more photos. 

22nd Wedding Anniversary

Lisa and Nathan, est. July 1, 2000

People don't talk enough about what building trust after foster care feels like... it kind of looks like this:  (especially the middle picture!)

Becoming a stepmom to Rachel and Carly:

Father's Day Zoom with Carly and the kiddos

 

The 2022 omicron experience

Despite being vaccinated and boosted, I still managed to catch omicron lately. I work up at 2:00 am with symptoms, took an at-home COVID test, and it came up positive. 

The next couple days weren't so great. My eyes ached, my head was throbbing, and my throat felt like someone was attacking it with a carrot scraper. Have you ever been swimming and breathed in water instead of air?  My nose felt like that for three days. 

My work was incredibly supportive and my husband was a saint. I've been staying in the guest room to quarantine. He brings food, ice, water, vitamins and food to my door, and checked my temperature and blood oxygen level intermittently.  

This is what hubby love looks like in the early morning: sugar-free ice coffee to ease my raw throat:

My current status/appraisal of omicron is summarized by the picture below. I'm looking forward to returning to work tomorrow!

What Foster Parents Can Do to Support Academic Achievement for Foster Youth

For many of us, our post-secondary journey after emancipation from foster care was on our own. But everything we do today is about improving outcomes for others.  

What can foster parents do to support youth in their care when it comes to post-secondary success?  This research article noted the following themes, as self-reported by youth. 

Citation: Dag Tore Skilbred, Anette Christine Iversen & Bente Moldestad (2017) Successful Academic Achievement Among Foster Children: What Did the Foster Parents Do?, Child Care in Practice, 23:4, 356-371.

Meeting with HUD Senior Leadership regarding FSHO implementation

 

Link to more photos.

Letter to HUD Secretary Marcia Fudge.

Family Privilege in the Time of COVID

This is a direct quote from a young person I spoke with earlier this week. 

What young people need the most when striving to succeed in young adulthood is unconditional and long-lasting support.

But for former fosters, EVERYTHING comes with conditions, from the moment they turn 18.

It is unrealistic to expect foster youth whose decisions have always been made for them to magically know how to successfully navigate complex systems and eligibility requirements at age 18...

Especially now, in the midst of the ongoing pandemic. 

The share of 16- to 24-year-olds who are neither enrolled in school nor employed more than doubled from February (11%) to June (28%) due to the pandemic and consequent economic downturn.

In July 2020, 52% of young adults in the US resided with one or both of their parents, according to a Pew Research Center. This is a higher percentage than any previous measurement, including during the Great Depression. 

Though the ‘boomerang’ stage has been on the rise for at least the last decade, the pandemic has added a few new contributing factors: many who planned to go away for college could not –  university campuses closed across the world – and others who might have otherwise moved for a job after college delayed leaving home because in-office work has not been available.

The difference lies in having a place to come home to... 

#FamilyPrivilege is real. For those who 'age out' of foster youth this is often either (a.) not an option, or (b.) not a safe option.

Happy New Year, 2022

 

Message of Encouragement

These quotes are just as true on Christmas Eve as they are during the Thanksgiving Together events when foster care youth and alumni designed these messages of encouragement for others:

Belated Birthday Zoom

 

Thanksgiving 2021

The Dickson family Thanksgiving dinner, courtesy of my blowtorch-wielding husband:

I recently saw a Facebook post that struggling to ask for help from others is a trauma response. It got me thinking about the many situations that we as foster care youth and alumni have had to face alone…  

It is indeed true that:

• The inner dialogue of “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” is rooted in how we learned to survive life threatening situations.
  
  
• Learning to be independent helped us cope with abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment due to the behavior of others. 
  
  
• To trust is to be vulnerable to disappointment or betrayal, and independence can be a preemptive measure of protection.

So, what’s the answer?  

• Not blind trust. It is wise to be careful of who we trust, and to pay attention to their track record in terms of what it tells us about how much we can rely on them for. 
  
  
• Relationships thrive on communication and boundaries. 
  
  
• Communication can be complicated, and mapping out boundaries is hard work. 

My thoughts are unfinished about this… it’s definitely food for thought.

Youth Ombudsman Advocacy

 The work continues...