Cuteness with Carly and the kiddos

Link to more photos. 

22nd Wedding Anniversary

Lisa and Nathan, est. July 1, 2000

People don't talk enough about what building trust after foster care feels like... it kind of looks like this:  (especially the middle picture!)

Becoming a stepmom to Rachel and Carly:

Father's Day Zoom with Carly and the kiddos

 

The 2022 omicron experience

Despite being vaccinated and boosted, I still managed to catch omicron lately. I work up at 2:00 am with symptoms, took an at-home COVID test, and it came up positive. 

The next couple days weren't so great. My eyes ached, my head was throbbing, and my throat felt like someone was attacking it with a carrot scraper. Have you ever been swimming and breathed in water instead of air?  My nose felt like that for three days. 

My work was incredibly supportive and my husband was a saint. I've been staying in the guest room to quarantine. He brings food, ice, water, vitamins and food to my door, and checked my temperature and blood oxygen level intermittently.  

This is what hubby love looks like in the early morning: sugar-free ice coffee to ease my raw throat:

My current status/appraisal of omicron is summarized by the picture below. I'm looking forward to returning to work tomorrow!

What Foster Parents Can Do to Support Academic Achievement for Foster Youth

For many of us, our post-secondary journey after emancipation from foster care was on our own. But everything we do today is about improving outcomes for others.  

What can foster parents do to support youth in their care when it comes to post-secondary success?  This research article noted the following themes, as self-reported by youth. 

Citation: Dag Tore Skilbred, Anette Christine Iversen & Bente Moldestad (2017) Successful Academic Achievement Among Foster Children: What Did the Foster Parents Do?, Child Care in Practice, 23:4, 356-371.

Meeting with HUD Senior Leadership regarding FSHO implementation

 

Link to more photos.

Letter to HUD Secretary Marcia Fudge.

Family Privilege in the Time of COVID

This is a direct quote from a young person I spoke with earlier this week. 

What young people need the most when striving to succeed in young adulthood is unconditional and long-lasting support.

But for former fosters, EVERYTHING comes with conditions, from the moment they turn 18.

It is unrealistic to expect foster youth whose decisions have always been made for them to magically know how to successfully navigate complex systems and eligibility requirements at age 18...

Especially now, in the midst of the ongoing pandemic. 

The share of 16- to 24-year-olds who are neither enrolled in school nor employed more than doubled from February (11%) to June (28%) due to the pandemic and consequent economic downturn.

In July 2020, 52% of young adults in the US resided with one or both of their parents, according to a Pew Research Center. This is a higher percentage than any previous measurement, including during the Great Depression. 

Though the ‘boomerang’ stage has been on the rise for at least the last decade, the pandemic has added a few new contributing factors: many who planned to go away for college could not –  university campuses closed across the world – and others who might have otherwise moved for a job after college delayed leaving home because in-office work has not been available.

The difference lies in having a place to come home to... 

#FamilyPrivilege is real. For those who 'age out' of foster youth this is often either (a.) not an option, or (b.) not a safe option.

Happy New Year, 2022

 

Message of Encouragement

These quotes are just as true on Christmas Eve as they are during the Thanksgiving Together events when foster care youth and alumni designed these messages of encouragement for others:

Belated Birthday Zoom

 

Thanksgiving 2021

The Dickson family Thanksgiving dinner, courtesy of my blowtorch-wielding husband:

I recently saw a Facebook post that struggling to ask for help from others is a trauma response. It got me thinking about the many situations that we as foster care youth and alumni have had to face alone…  

It is indeed true that:

• The inner dialogue of “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” is rooted in how we learned to survive life threatening situations.
  
  
• Learning to be independent helped us cope with abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment due to the behavior of others. 
  
  
• To trust is to be vulnerable to disappointment or betrayal, and independence can be a preemptive measure of protection.

So, what’s the answer?  

• Not blind trust. It is wise to be careful of who we trust, and to pay attention to their track record in terms of what it tells us about how much we can rely on them for. 
  
  
• Relationships thrive on communication and boundaries. 
  
  
• Communication can be complicated, and mapping out boundaries is hard work. 

My thoughts are unfinished about this… it’s definitely food for thought.

Youth Ombudsman Advocacy

 The work continues...

 

#YouthRightsMatter

 

Halloween Zoom with the Kiddos

 

Press Conference for Foster Youth Bill of Rights

State Senators Teresa Fedor (D-Toledo) and Tina Maharath (D-Canal Winchester) held a press conference on Friday, Oct. 22, 2021 at 10 am to introduce Senate Bill 254, to codify the Foster Youth Bill of Rights in Ohio Revised Code.

Raven, Melinda, Ashley, Deanna and Lisa were honored to participate. Nikki and Cloe assisted in early morning preparation. Participants were quoted in the Hannah Report. 

Foster Care Alumni, Lawmakers Urge Foster Bill of Rights to Be Written into Law
Hannah Report, Oct, 22, 2021.

Former foster youth joined two Democratic senators Friday to advocate for codification of rights for children under state protection, to help them have a voice in setting the direction of their own lives and give them meaningful recourse when facing mistreatment.

Sens. Teresa Fedor (D-Toledo) and Tina Maharath (D-Canal Winchester) introduced SB254 earlier this week; it was also referred to Senate Judiciary Committee this week. Fedor and Maharath -- the latter of whom spent time in foster care -- joined several advocates who experienced foster care themselves to press for action on the measure during a press conference Friday.

Maharath said the proposal would guarantee rights to be free from physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse, from discrimination, and to have privacy, belongings and access to communication, among other things.

A codified bill of rights for foster youth was among recommendations of the DeWine administration’s Children Services Transformation Advisory Council. (See The Hannah Report, 10/26/20.)

Fedor, who’s spent much of her legislative career focused on trafficking issues, said foster youth who are frequently moved around and crave attention and stability become targets of traffickers. 

Though they expressed support for the legislation, the former foster youth said the state needs also to create an independent ombudsman’s office for foster youth to ensure their rights are truly preserved.

Lisa Dickson, representing ACTION OHIO and the Ohio Youth Advisory Board, said from the founding of those foster youth organizations she’s observed the following three trends: grievances filed by youth generally sit unaddressed on someone’s desk; youth who call abuse hotlines are not taken seriously; and those who run away from abuse are often sent right back to the place they’re being abused. 

These situations make it “vitally important” that foster youth be informed of their rights, including whom to contact when those rights are violated, and that those complaints generate a meaningful response, she said. 

Melinda Juergens, now 30, described the abuse she experienced in her teen years at her fourth foster placement -- being made to stand with her arms outstretched for hours at a time, severe restrictions on food, orders not to sit down unless asleep, bathing or in the bathroom, and having to drink dish soap after being reported for cursing at school. “For a long time, I couldn’t even smell lemon dish soap without getting queasy,” she said. 

“It amounts to torture, and if I would have had that youth ombudsman office back then, my adoptive parents could have empowered me to go through and use my rights to report these foster parents with the youth ombudsman office, and I could have prevented [placement of] the seven other children they fostered after me,” she said. 

“I was in the same private foster care agency that Marcus Fiesel was in,” Juergens said, referencing the 2006 case of a three-year-old boy murdered by his foster mother. 

Fedor said after their remarks she’d seek an amendment to create an independent ombudsman office. 

Fedor said she would like to see the bill of rights get full hearings in both chambers as standalone legislation rather than attaching it to HB4 (Plummer-Manchester), other child welfare legislation that’s passed the House and is pending in Senate Judiciary, because she wants her colleagues to hear the youth voices behind the proposal.

Legacy of Difference-Making

While preparing for a presentation this morning, I am reminded of the ongoing legacy of Ohio foster care youth and alumni positively impacting federal and state legislation, supported by our beloved allies.

#LetsKeepPushingForwardTogether

Youth Ombudsman Coalition

The Youth Ombudsman Coalition was initiated by the Overcoming Hurdles in Ohio Youth Advisory Board, which is a statewide organization of young people (aged 14-24) who have experienced foster care that exists to be the knowledgeable statewide voice that influences policies and practices that impact youth who have or will experience out of home care.

Members of this growing coalition include: ACTION Ohio, Adoption Network Cleveland, Athens CASA/GAL Program, Better Together Toledo, the Children’s Defense Fund, Columbus State Scholar Network, Community of Hope, Disability Rights Ohio, El’lesun, the Fostering Achievement Network, iFoster Inc, Junior League of Columbus, the Miresa Arts Foundation, the National Center for Housing & Child Welfare, the Northeast Ohio Black Health Coalition, the Ohana Project and Think of Us.

Learn more at: https://fosteractionohio.org/advocacy-toolkit/    

Second Zoom Meeting with Representative Jarrells

 

The OHIO YAB and ACTION Ohio held a Zoom meeting with Representative Jarrells on Friday, Oct. 8, 2021.

We deeply appreciated Representative Jarrells' offer to circle back with Representative Manchester this week regarding attached strike-through document that we recently sent her regarding HB 4, which is currently being reviewed by the Senate Judicial Committee, and will likely go next to the Senate Finance Committee.

The wording of our message to Representative Manchester was as follows:

After reviewing with participants of the Youth Ombudsman Coalition and the OHIO YAB, we wanted to make additional suggestions to the amendment drafted by LSC. We hope that the attached redlined version of the amendment helps to clarify our positions and moves us towards an amendment that can be supported by the OHIO YAB and the coalition that has been working towards a truly independent and effective ombudsman’s office.

Our redlined version of the amendment does two important  things:

• Clearly makes the youth ombudsman a separate appointed role.  This is the primary request and this change would accomplish the main intent.
  
  
• Clarifies that the OHIO YAB will have input in the selection of the Youth Ombudsman. This is also a primary request and goes hand-in-hand with the first request.

The following are suggestions that build off of some of the changes included in the LSC prepared amendment. These amendments continue to build on the intent of our original proposal to Representative Manchester's office.

• Change the name from Children Services to "Youth and Family" with the "Family Ombudsman" as adult-serving and the "Youth Ombudsman" as youth-serving. 
  
  
• Clarify that the two ombudsmen will be housed in the same office at JFS, but will not report to the Director of JFS and will not be subject to budget reductions
  
  
• Add the OHIO YAB to the list of people who will receive and evaluate the annual report.
  
  
• Create an appropriation line item and clarify that the Youth Ombudsman shall receive no less than 50% of the budget.