Lisa is an Erickson fan :)

I personally am a big fan of the usefulness of Erickson’s theory in relationship to foster care youth/alumni, particularly when it comes to the “Intimacy vs. Isolation” stage.

• Erikson Stage 6: Intimacy vs. Isolation relates directly to the transitional stage of foster care.
• The social task of the young adult (within this model) is to create strong, long-lasting bonds of friendship and love. Those that fail in this task risk remaining isolated for the rest of their lives.
• The ability to relate to other people is affected by personal exposure to trauma. This impact is felt most deeply in an intimate relationship but also has a “ripple effect” that affects every other relationship in that person’s life.
• Research demonstrates that adults with the highest rate of broken relationships are those who shy away from emotional investment, reject any neediness in their romantic partners and withdraw during times of emotional distress.
• When young people age out of foster care, they are vulnerable. Emotionally abusive relationships might seem familiar. Predators might come to them, offering to help – and then wanting something in return. Or foster care alumni might try to isolate themselves and take on life as a “Lone Ranger.”
• If the very first emotional / physical support systems of your life disappoint you, the logical response might very well be to depend upon yourself. This will often get you through the short-term, and ensure your physical survival.
• But, if at some point, you want to commit to another person, to love and be loved by them, that might be hard. Because, in loving them, you are vulnerable to them... and that means that since they are human, there will be moments when they disappoint you. And at those times, having them fail you might bring to the surface the memories of every other time that someone from your past has failed you.
• And what do we ultimately want for foster care youth and alumni?  We want them to establish interdependent lives. We want them to build and maintain healthy relationships. We want them to learn to trust, to develop autonomy, to be industrious (aka productive), to know their worth (vs. feeling inadequate) to figure out their own identity, and to create lives of connection, rather than isolation. 

And for supporting the Fostering Stable Housing Opportunities Act, proposed in direct response to YEARS of advocacy by current and former Ohio foster youth, I now like Senator Al Franken (formerly Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Life) even more.

Senators introduce their version of the Fostering Stable Housing Opportunities Act

WASHINGTON (KCRG-TV9) -- Sen. Chuck Grassley and Sen. Debbie Stabenow, co-chairs of the Senate Caucus on Foster Youth, and Sen. Al Franken, Sen. Tim Kaine, Sen. Angus King and Sen. Tim Scott, have introduced bipartisan legislation to help youth aging out of foster care with housing needs.

“One of the biggest challenges facing older foster youth is aging out of care and being without a place to live,” Grassley said. “This bill would make it easier for such youth to get federal housing assistance so they can continue their education, get a job and have a good start into adulthood.”


“Homelessness and poverty are a real danger for teenagers when they age out of foster care,” Stabenow said. “We need to do everything we can to help them transition to stable and successful adult lives, and this bill helps with that process.”

“Every year, I am given the opportunity to welcome young leaders from the Foster Youth Internship Program into my office. It is amazing to see them push forward towards their goals, in spite of many challenges," Scott said. "That is why it is important for us to lift them up when necessary, and this bipartisan bill will help our foster youth who are aging out of care prosper and continue working to achieve the American Dream.”

The Fostering Stable Housing Opportunities Act would grant priority preference for federal housing assistance to foster youth who are aging out of care and allow youth in foster care to apply for housing assistance at the age of 16, prior to aging out, which in many states occurs the day foster youth turn 18. 

Foster youth face an especially difficult transition period from childhood to adulthood, and as many as 37 percent become homeless soon after aging out of care. Even more face housing instability such as frequent housing changes and “couch surfing.” They are particularly susceptible to human trafficking and other dangerous outcomes as a result.

Helping these young people access federal housing assistance will provide a safety net and allow them the opportunity to get on their feet and become self-sufficient adults. 

The bill is the Senate version of a measure in the House of Representatives by Rep. Mike Turner.

Grassley co-founded the Senate Caucus on Foster with the goal of hearing directly from foster youth about the challenges they face. A focus has been on helping youth transition from care to adulthood. The transition is difficult, with some youth facing lack of employment or educational opportunities, substance abuse and homelessness.

Child Welfare Funding and How States Use It

*Click on picture to enlarge.
Visit this link to learn more.

This Week News: Lights, Camera... ACTION!!

Day by Day: ‘Aging out’ of foster care can bring difficulty
By Liz Thompson, This Week News, July 3, 2017.

Her mother died of cancer when she was 10. Her father was physically abusive and she was removed from the home. In foster care, she lived in an emergency shelter, an all-girls group home and a co-ed group home.

Lisa Dickson was inspired by these experiences to become an advocate for change. At 16, she was accepted into college -- her lifeline into the future.

“I remain forever grateful to Randy Mills, former admissions counselor at the University of Kentucky, for literally walking me down the hall to financial aid and telling them, ‘This girl has no family to help her -- this girl needs grants,’ ” said Dickson, now a Westerville resident.

“It sounds great to say that I started college at age 16 -- but by age 17, I was homeless due to trying to rescue my former roommate from a group home. This urge to rescue others is so strong that we Ohio foster-care (alumni) currently lead a workshop called ‘When Helping You Is Hurting Me,’ ” Dickson said.

During her time in foster care, Dickson said she often had no voice. Today, she listens to the voices of current and former foster youth. They stand side by side to improve outcomes for people in and from foster care.

Dickson considers it an honor to volunteer as communications chairwoman of Alumni of Care Together Improving Outcomes Now Ohio, and as co-facilitator of the Overcoming Hurdles in Ohio Youth Advisory Board. She helped create both groups in 2006. Their initiatives include annual trips to Washington, D.C., to share their hard-won experiences and advocate for policy change, such as ending the “pipeline” from foster care to homelessness.

“What I don’t get is this: I aged out of foster care in 1989 and ended up homeless,” Dickson said. “Why are today’s youths still aging out into homelessness? We could and should and must do better.”

U.S. Rep. Michael Turner (R-Dayton) created the Fostering Stable Housing Opportunities Act as a direct result of one of those visits to Washington.

This act, with no additional spending required, allows foster-care youth who are close to “aging out” of foster care to jump to the front of the waitlist for housing assistance when they reach 16 years old.

ACTION Ohio’s Suits for Success program provides professional attire to current and former foster youths who are preparing to enter the workforce. Suits for Success needs a future storage location for donated suits. The organization welcomes suit donations on an ongoing basis. It often pairs distribution of the suits with job-interview simulations and resume practice.

“Time and time again, our young people tell us that it’s not enough to know what the resources are -- they need coaching and guidance regarding how to access them effectively.”

Two such places are Capital Law School’s free Family and Youth Advocacy Center for current or former foster youths and Columbus State Community College’s Scholar Network.

“Even after graduating college, as a foster-care survivor, it can feel lonely to be ‘one of the ones who made it,’ ” Dickson said. “Our young people today deserve to have campus liaisons like Randy to support them.”

Holidays and birthdays can be lonely for current and former foster youths, when many families gather to celebrate.

“I’ve been married for 17 years and have two beloved stepdaughters, but I don’t expect them to understand what the foster-care experience was like for me,” Dickson said.

On Thanksgiving 2007, Dickson and other former foster youths from across the nation traveled to Washington to encourage the federal government to extend foster-care support to age 21. They shared Thanksgiving dinner on the steps of the U.S. Capitol.

From 2008 onward, Ohio has held statewide and regional early Thanksgiving dinners for foster-care teens and alumni. Dickson serves as lead planner.

“When we come together as brothers and sisters of the foster-care system, we can encourage and support one another. We celebrate each other’s success and continue to improve outcomes for the next generation.”

Much needs to be done, as an average of 150 children in Franklin County alone age out of foster care every year.

For more information, email info@fosteractionohio.org

Thoughts on Director Comey's Testimony

It might sound weird to say this - but when I hear Former FBI Director Comey giving his legislative testimony, all I can think is that I wish I had someone like him for a father.

He is a Boy Scout of a man. He makes unpopular decisions based on his own integrity.

I would have loved to have had a father like that.

PS: 

Foster Care and Superpowers

Message to today's young people who are currently transitioning from foster care into young adulthood:

• It's part of the healing process to remember and think through the memories of what we have each experienced before, during and after foster care
• During that process, we ALSO have to move forward to survive
• So, PART of our brain as a young adult who has experienced foster care is focused on immediate existence and future practicalities
• While the OTHER part is sorting through the past, and finding ways to heal 

I'm not saying that this is easy - because it really isn't. But it is necessary to survive. And the aftereffect for those of us who make it is often super-resiliency.

By super-resiliency, I mean that: "I am like a weed. You can put me down anywhere, and I will likely find a way to survive -  and more than that - I will find some element of joy there. I will find a way to be happy and move forward."

 #AfterEffectOfHealingAfterFosterCare

Definition of Stewardship

It is a great big beautiful thing to create something new, but the next step is to maintain it, year after year - because the need doesn't change based on current popularity.

Sometimes, the maintaining part bumps up against behind-the-scenes complications and all kinds of crazy politics. But we can, and will, and MUST overcome them.

And that's the definition of a weird word called "stewardship."  To be a "steward" means: the careful and responsible management of what has been entrusted to you.

We need a better word for this. Steward sounds sort of like sewage. It's not a sexy word at all.

Let's talk about other words that might better express the heart behind this effort:

- commitment
- consistency
- conscientiousness
- vision
- purpose
- responsibility

We need to talk about what it means to be in this for the long-haul.

Underpromise and Overdeliver

My husband has a saying: "Underpromise and overdeliver" -- and I can't tell you how valuable that principle is when it comes to foster care advocacy.

Our young people have experienced enough broken promises in their lives

We need to be the kind of people who KEEP our promises, and who are very careful to gauge our commitments before saying yes, so that we can truly live up to what we commit to do ❤️❤️❤️

And, if a challenge comes up that might limit our availability, our responsibility is to let others know as soon as possible.

#EndRant

Foster care is a bipartisan issue

I am heart-happy about Ohio's fifth annual Three Days on the Hill. ❤️❤️❤️

One thing really amazed and encouraged me during this year's trip to DC:

I had been anticipating and worrying that the growing political divide in our country might negatively impact our legislative visits

But there was NO difference at all between our visits with Republican vs. Democratic offices:

- They both saw foster care as a bipartisan issue.
- They both understood that our young peope who "age out" of foster care just want to build positive and productive futures
- They both totally *got* that helping a young person succeed in college/workforce meant a future taxpayer later on

When we talked about youth aging out of foster care without a savings account to afford housing... former foster youth needing to pay rent a year in advance due to having no co-signer... former foster youth being asked to pay hundreds of dollars to stay in a dorm (their only home!!) during campus breaks...

This was eye-opening to ALL offices. And they cared and were receptive to our proactive suggestions of solutions.

I agree with these recent quotes from Dan Rather:

"Now is a time when none of us can afford to remain seated or silent. We must all stand up to be counted. History will demand to know which side were you on."

He references the Declaration of Independence: 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

And then he adds:

"These truths may be self-evident but they are not self-replicating. Each generation has to renew these vows... the direction of our ship of state has not always been one of progress. We interned Japanese Americans, Red Baited during the McCarthy era, and more. I feel the rip tide of regression once again swelling under my feet. But I intend to remain standing."

Top Priority for 2017

Improving long-term outcomes for young people in and from foster care <3 span="">

Let's start from there - settle for nothing less - and then move backwards.

Creating learning experiences for foster youth

Do you remember being a teen, and those specific experiences that, at the time, seemed like the most important moment in the world?

This very interesting research study demonstrates that: 

1.) Teens are better at learning from "reinforcement learning" than adults are

2.) Teens engage both the hippocampus (memory) and striatum (decision-making) regions of their brains at the same time, while adults tend to alternate between using one or the other

3.) Therefore, the experiences that teens have are rich with opportunities to create memories and educate them on making future decisions

The researchers’ conclusion was that the adolescent period of risk-taking and impulsive decision-making may be especially beneficial because it improves our reinforcement learning.  In simplest terms, reinforcement learning is making a guess, being told whether you’re right or wrong, and using that information to make a better guess next time.

http://www.refinery29.com/2016/10/125309/teen-memory-impulsive-brain-effect

As we work to ‘make memories’ for foster youth, this is a great reminder that teens are particularly sensitive to and responsive to the experience of the moment. 

In our interactions with teens, we have the opportunity to provide learning opportunities that can shape their understanding of the world. 

Supporting our brothers and sisters of the foster care system

Sometimes our siblings of the foster care system try to put on a brave face and not show the world that they are struggling - right up until the moment that all the dominos fall down. (this is something that I did after aging out)

When that happens, we need to figure out the best way to help them. Not just for the moment, but building a way to succeed in the future:

1.) Are they connected with statewide and local resources that could help them in this situation?

2.) Have they reached out to local and statewide resources and asked for help?

3.) Do they have a local support network - and if so, are there ways that we could advise that support network to do specific things to help them?

Quick Tips for Youth Aging Out of Foster Care

Thinking about some of the top things I wish someone had told me when I first aged out of foster care:

1.) Give your best to each day, every opportunity,  and the moment at hand and focus on building your future ‪
#‎yourfuturematters‬ ‪
#‎withoutafuturehowcanyouhelpothers‬

2.) There are and will always be some people in your life that will try to bring you down. Do your best to safeguard yourself against the haters and surround yourself with those who truly care and want you to succeed.

‪#‎whenhelpingyouishurtingme‬
‪#‎youcanforgiveothersandstillstaysafefromfutureharm‬

3.) It's okay to struggle while navigating through the unknown.  Common sense doesn't really exist - it's just something that somebody's parents took the time to tell them. It's okay to *not know* the things that nobody ever took the time to tell you.

Don't blame yourself for not knowing -- just seek to learn from it, and strive to pave a pathway for others to succeed when someone finally cares enough to take the time to give you a roadmap

4.) Please remember to thank those who help you along the way. Saying thank you is an essential part of advocacy.

Thanking those who help us when we need the most can re-energize them to help others in the future.

Need to find a way to celebrate and support former foster youth who graduate college and grad school

It can be incredibly disheartening for former foster youth to work so hard to earn a degree, and then be immediately be reminded of their lack of family privilege immediately upon college/grad school graduation.

Because they still aren't sure how to fund moving expenses and future housing and food costs after graduation -- even when they are offered amazing jobs.

This can feel terribly overwhelming without family support.

I still remember what it was like after I graduated with my Masters degree from the University of Kentucky. Thankfully, the Ohio workplace that hired me was willing to pay my moving expenses.

Even then, I couldn't afford an apartment right away, so I slept on the floor of a friend of a friend in Columbus for the first 2-3 months. She let me keep my stuff in her basement, until I had saved up enough for an apartment.

 I remain altogether grateful for both of these two privileges: moving expenses covered by future workplace, and having a floor to sleep on.

Not former foster youth gets those two things after college/grad school graduation.

Ohio needs a statewide hotline for foster youth and alumni

If California can do it, why can't we?

Still keep thinking about how great it would if there was one statewide number that youth could call...

Foster Care Youth and Alumni Hotline
#StaySafe
#GetConnected

The #StaySafe element would be to invite youth who are thinking about running away and/or experiencing abuse in their bio homes, foster placements or group homes/juvie/residential facilities.

The #GetConnected element would be to support youth who have "aged out" of foster care and are currently facing challenging circumstances.

Most county hotlines are not youth friendly, if you are a young person calling in to get help.

1.) There can be long wait times

2.) The current people taking youth calls tend to vary between:
- those who truly care
- those who are paid to care
- those who don’t care

3.) The staff member answering the call might be:
- a staff member on call who can’t be bothered
- a staff member who has a script and reads it with all the compassion of a telemarketer
- a staff person who does not work with youth and is not youth friendly

4.) The county/private agency often has a vested interest in covering themselves
We’ve had youth who run away from abusive foster placements – they call their local hotline for help – and are placed back in that same abusive home – then run away again

Learning more about Mobility Mapping, thanks to the Dave Thomas Foundation

The Dave Thomas Foundation's adoption model is based on making sure that youth come first when it comes to adoption decisions.

They firmly believe that it’s most important to listen to each youth’s experience, history and needs.

Their program focuses on finding permanency for youth who are most at risk of “aging out” of foster care (older youth, sibling groups, minority groups, children who have been in foster care for a long time, and/or have experienced a previous failed adoption).

Mobility mapping is a relaxed and informal method of exploring a young person’s history, in order to identify people and relationships that might provide permanency.

To avoid re-traumatizing young people, facilitators are encouraged to encourage often, and to redirect away from painful and negative memories.

 Sample questions might include:

• Who in your family might know other relatives’ last names? 
• Who in your family would be the person who would be most likely to coordinate family reunions? 
• Creating maps of where the young person lived at certain times in their lives, and the person / people in their life at that time that they trusted. 

 Mobility mapping always includes safety conversations: 

• Youth are invited to use marker to identify the people they feel safe with 
• And to repeat this with a different color marker to mark the people they do NOT feel safe with 
• At that point, young person (him or herself) is empowered to identify the people from the safe list that they would want to reconnect with

Mobility mapping also encourages youth to identify their own greatest needs:

• "What five things are missing from your life right now?"
• "What are the top five things you need - they can be people, things, or unanswered questions."
• Youth can rank those top things in order based on most to least importance. 

If you suspect child abuse or neglect, report it

Reasons why being a mandatory reporter of abuse matters:

1. Mandatory reporting matters for kids who are victims.
If no one cares enough to report it, the abuse will continue. They will be emotionally traumatized, and often physically scarred. They could even die.

2. Mandatory report is worth it for the cases in which the child is being abused, but it is deemed by those in power that there is "insubstantial" proof.

Certain types of neglect and abuse are difficult to "substantiate" Because there is no physical evidence. That doesn't mean that child or teen is not worth advocating for... And it's still worth taking the time to call.

If and when you do call to report suspected child abuse or neglect, be prepared for the following:

• Some of the hotlines are not adequately staffed. You might be on hold for a very long time. 
• Sometimes the staff member who answers might not seem very responsive or helpful.
• Sometimes it takes three or more separate calls for anyone to do anything to protect that child.  

There are so many young people for whom I wish someone had cared enough to notice and report their abuse sooner.

Taking the time to report suspected neglect and/or abuse can help improve that child's current experience - and possibly save his or her life.

 ‪#‎IfYouSeeChildAbuseReportIt‬‬ ‪
#‎TheYoungPersonMatters‬‬

Tough Love, Gentle Love... and Speaking the Truth in Love

Some people are all about "tough love" - but I tend to lean towards gentle love.  I remember what it was like to experience abusive treatment before and during my time in the foster care system.

I have all too clear memories of the trauma I felt, and the goofy things I did during my teenage years and young adulthood. That, to me, means I should likely try to extend that young person some grace.

But I also know that the people who truly helped me GROW were those who were brave enough to tell me what I needed to work on. So that means that I also need to tell the truth, even when it feels awkward and uncomfortable - and even if the person lashes out at me - with the overall GOAL of supporting that young person both now and in the long run.